Reading Between the Lines
by Brynna
Summary: A collection of Alice/Jasper one-shots.
1. They'll Never Know

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Ross Copperman.

Synopsis: Jasper and Alice find her grave.

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"_Don't you cry tonight. Rest your weary eyes. Cause all that you are is broken inside. __It's nothing you could change, it's nothing you could hide." - They'll Never Know by Ross Copperman_

**They'll Never Know**

The stone marking the grave was simple. Some of the others surrounding it were large and ornate, casting long shadows over the wild vegetation. But this one was short and plain. It was nearly overtaken by the unkempt weeds and creeping vines.

Jasper felt Alice dance behind him, clearing away the overgrowth from nameplates and markers. He reached out a gentle hand and tugged at the vegetation that was curling around the gravestone. Pieces of the stone gave way as he tugged. The thick vine had found cracks in the crumbling stone and was clinging persistently.

He saw the name, her name. He clawed at the vines, frantic now to free the stone. "Alice," he called.

She flitted over to his side, her breathing uneven as she saw his hands dusting over her name. He stood from his work and felt her little hand whisper across his as she sought his familiar support. He threaded their fingers together and squeezed.

Alice stared at the stone. "Look at the date, Jazz."

"I know," he said gently. Her full name arched across the short stone. Two dates were etched underneath. And that was all. There was no mention of her being someone's daughter or sister. They had reduced her human life to two dates, birth and the day they had given up on her. The day she died in their eyes. The day they admitted her to the asylum.

"Do you think they had a proper funeral?"

"I don't know."

Her eyes were glued to the stone. "What do you think is buried under there?"

Jasper offered her a tight smile. "I don't know." He paused and followed her gaze to the little grave and the weeds dancing in the wind. "We could find out."

She closed her eyes and shook her head, perhaps seeing that there was nothing there to find.

She tugged her hand away and stepped forward to bend down over the stone. Even amongst knee-high grass and clinging vines, she was still the most graceful creature he had ever seen. She let gentle fingers trail over the letters of her name. "What do you think I did? I mean, what do you think made them send me away, in the end?" Her voice was quiet and low, so different from her usual cheer.

He shrugged, wishing he could offer her a better answer. "I don't know, Alice." He moved forward to stand next to her, feeling the magnetic tug he had felt for decades. He let his fingers trail through her dark hair as she crouched in front of the gravestone, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped tight around them. "Maybe they were just afraid of the visions. Maybe – maybe they were bad people."

She kept staring at the stone. "I suppose I should be happy with the answers I've got."

Jasper continued to gently trail his fingers through her short hair. "We've solved so many mysteries, love." He felt her emotions swell at the seldom-used term of endearment. She leaned back into his comforting hand as he continued. "We know about your memory loss and your name and your family and your change..." He smiled and paused to let her finish the list.

"And my hair."

"Most importantly," he said gently. The teasing edge in his voice made her look up and smile at her husband. She had expressed her curiosity about having short hair so many times during their years together that even he was happy to have an explanation.

She stood slowly with another fleeting touch across the letters. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they stood together, alone and quiet. The wind swirled around them softly. The wrought iron of the rusty gate creaked as it moved back and forth in the breeze.

"We can go now," she said after some time. Alice slipped from under his arm and started toward their car.

Jasper watched her move slowly, her eyes carefully avoiding her gravestone now. He glanced at it, the piece of rock that said so much about his wife's past. He had a sudden urge to crush the stone, to make it so that none of that past ever existed. He wanted to go back a year to when she was still able to say that her life had started with a vision of him.

He was stopped by the sudden onslaught of her crushing sadness. He darted forward and touched her hand. She stopped but didn't turn. He tugged her around and was stricken by the agony contorting her features. Her shoulders were shaking as she cried, tearlessly.

Jasper pulled her close and she twisted her fingers through the fabric of his shirt. "They didn't even wait to see if I would get better," she said in shaky bursts. "How terrible were they? How terrible was I?"

"Alice," he said softly. He bent his head down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You weren't terrible. And they aren't your parents." He invoked the feelings of warm love that he always felt from Esme and let them wash over her. "_Esme_ is your mother." He let his lips trail over her silky hair and held her tighter. "_Carlisle_ is your father."

"I know," she said into his chest. He could feel her fighting for calm and he loosened his hold. "I know, Jasper." She tilted her head back and he was relieved to see her face had smoothed into a more neutral expression. "The past has never mattered before, why should it now, right?"

He smiled and ran a thumb over her cheekbone. "They didn't do right by you, Alice." The accent that he usually managed to keep at bay was suddenly making its presence known.

She smiled and pulled out of his embrace. "The accent," she said with a little laugh. "You do know how to turn my mood around."

"I so rarely have to."

Alice smiled and gripped her husband's hands. "Let's get out of here."

"Where will we go?"

She tilted her head and he squeezed her hands. "Home." Her smile widened and her voice suddenly regained a bit of its usual cheerfulness. "Let's go home, Jazz." He could still feel the lingering sadness, whether she tried to cover it with a smile or not.

Jasper trailed a hand down Alice's cheek and started to pick his way through thick grass. He reached the creaky gate and turned, his hand braced on the crumbling rails. Alice had stepped forward only a step from where he left her. Her arms were wrapped around her waist, her eyes again taking in her cracked gravestone.

He let her be for a moment and then said her name softly. Her head turned as if he had shouted against the sound of the strengthening evening wind. They stared at each other for long moments before Jasper held out his hand just as she had for him so long ago. She spared another glance at the gravestone and crossed to meet her husband.

Her hand was small and solid and familiar in his and as she shifted to twine their fingers together, he felt her usual comforting mixture of pleasant emotions.

Jasper looked down at her, as she settled in at his side, until she glanced up to meet his gaze. "Home?" he asked simply.

She nodded and smiled, the sadness he could still feel lessening as she worked to let it all go. "Let's go see our family."

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A/N: I have been working on some Alice/Jasper one shots for awhile now and I thought I'd post them in a collection. I am posting the first 4 now but I will be posting more every week until I run out of ideas or get tired of my own work, whichever comes first. ;)

I am obsessed with Alice's reaction to finding out about her past. I might explore this even further in another one shot down the line.

Review!

-Brynna


	2. Blue Sky Blues

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Ryan Adams.

Synopsis: Jasper apologizes to Alice after snapping at her in the cafeteria in Midnight Sun.

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"_I can take care of you, but only if you want. I'm strong enough to carry you across the __icy lake, across the icy lake, but I can't fight your blues. - Blue Sky Blues by Ryan Adams_

**Blue Sky Blues**

There was no denying it. He was having a lousy day.

His throat was burning with thirst. His eyes were as black as pitch and he was nearly aching from the stress of a day spent in a sea of high school students.

Worse than all of that, he had snapped at Alice and hadn't had the chance to apologize.

He sighed and turned the page of his book. He wasn't reading, really. Instead, he was practically staring out the window, desperate to see the sky darkening so he could hunt freely.

There was a light knocking at the door and he kept his eyes trained on the window. "Come in."

He heard Alice open the door and close it softly. She leaned against it for a moment. "Come on, Jazz," she said softly. He could feel sadness and uncertainty tainting her normal cheerful emotions.

"Where?" He turned to face her. She looked tired and thirsty.

"Let's go hunt. We can get away for the night."

Jasper sighed with relief and stood. "Do you want to drive?"

She nodded. "I don't feel like running."

She held her hand out expectantly, sure he would take it whether they were annoyed with each other or not. He crossed the room and slid his hand into hers. She smiled uncertainly. "Sorry for hovering today," she said, simply.

"Sorry for snapping."

She shrugged her shoulders and he knew that he was already forgiven. She tugged on his hand to guide him through the house. He could hear Esme speaking quietly to Rosalie in the kitchen. She sounded upset. Jasper wished he was stronger, that he could make it one more night so he could stay and calm Esme.

"She'll be all right," Alice said, as if reading his thoughts.

They took Rosalie's car and sped down the rapidly darkening roads. Alice headed north and slowed the car down on the edge of a thick forest. They had driven silently, her hand still trapped in his. His thirst was filling his mind even as she turned off the ignition. He flew from the car, feeling Alice sprinting lightly a step behind him.

"East," she said, softly. The sky was starting to darken but the last vestiges of light weren't a concern so far out.

He turned automatically and pounced as soon as he saw the bear. He drank thirstily, dimly aware of Alice chasing after an elk a half mile away.

She came back as he was finishing, her golden eyes flashing in the rising moon. Jasper shoved at the bear and moved to stand close to her. He wasn't full but he was in control now, the thirst a dim itch instead of an all-consuming burn.

Jasper touched her face. "Are you all right?"

"It wasn't a very good day." She gripped his hand and leaned her face into his touch. "I can't tell how long he'll be gone."

Alice and Edward were so close. Jasper knew she wouldn't be the same until he was safe at home.

"He didn't have a choice, Alice."

"I know," she said, sadly. "It wasn't a very good day," she repeated.

He nodded and moved his hand from her face so he could pull her close. She fiddled with his shirt, her fingers tracing a path around the buttons. "I really am sorry for snapping at you."

She shook her head. "Don't be sorry. It must be annoying with all of us waiting for you to slip."

He grinned wryly and nodded. "A little."

"I'll try to tone it down," she said with a sigh.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I think I need to hunt more frequently."

Alice nodded. "I know." She looked up and met his gaze. "You know I'll go with you. There's no shame in needing extra help."

"I think Edward thinks it's stupid for me to go to school."

"What do you think?"

He shrugged. "It's hard, Alice."

"You don't have to."

"It's easier for the story." He paused and listened to the sounds of deer on the move in the distance. "Every day that I make it through feels like a victory."

"I'm sorry this is not easier for you."

He looked down to meet her gaze again. It was a conversation they had repeated a hundred times over the years. "Anywhere that you are," he said, knowing she would understand.

She smiled tightly. "I'm in high school."

"Then so am I."

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Note: Review and head to the next one! Thanks.

-Brynna


	3. Love Like That

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Stew.

Synopsis: Esme and Jasper have a chat after he and Alice return at the end of Breaking Dawn.

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"_Your mother's love might seem insane. It's because she really knows everything." - __Love Like That by Stew_

**Love Like That**

Jasper's hand hovered in front of the smooth plane of wood. He could hear the sounds from beyond the door. Carlisle and Esme were speaking quietly. He didn't try to hear the words but he wondered whether he should interrupt.

He knocked lightly, figuring that if they were too wrapped up to answer, he could come back later. "Come in Jasper," Esme said softly.

When he pushed the door open, he saw Carlisle and Esme sitting on the edge of their bed. His hand was resting on her thigh. Her hand covered his, gripping tightly. She was smiling widely, clearly still elated that her whole family was home and safe. "I'm sorry to interrupt," Jasper said, uncertainly. "I was wondering if I might speak with Esme."

Carlisle stood and reached for the jacket he had laid across the bed. "Of course. I need to get to the hospital, anyway." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his wife's forehead. "I'll be home soon, darling." Carlisle trailed a hand down her cheek and started for the door. He patted Jasper on the back and grinned. "We are so happy that you and Alice are home."

Jasper smiled and stared at the ground. "We are happy to be back," he said softly.

Carlisle glanced again at his wife and took his leave, shutting the door carefully behind him.

Esme beckoned Jasper to sit. He pulled the chair from her desk and drug it to face her.

"What's on your mind, Jasper?" she asked as he dropped into the chair.

Jasper felt his lips curve as he absorbed Esme's comfortable emotions. Everything about her was so utterly warm, so blissfully loving. "I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry we worried you." He said it in a rush, as if he couldn't stand the thought of an extra second of her disappointment.

It had been the hardest thing about leaving, knowing it would undeniably hurt Esme. Jasper had been drawn to her from the start. Those calm, peaceful emotions were like a balm when his bloodlust got out of hand. He liked the way her emotions changed, subtly when she encountered each of her children. She felt a rush of enthusiastic pride when she saw Alice, indulgent patience for Rosalie, amusement for Emmett, and worry for Edward. For Jasper, it was more complicated. It was easy to feel her hope for him, her concern and patience. But there was something more. More than any of the rest, she desired better for him. She wished things had been different, that he had never known war or pain.

Esme smiled sweetly at Jasper and leaned forward slightly. "I should be thanking you, dear. You and Alice saved us all."

Jasper shook his head. "It was all Alice. I just followed."

"Jasper," she said softly. "One day, you'll see that Alice cannot do anything without you." She said it as if it was a secret, leaning forward and holding his gaze. "You give her strength."

He smiled shyly. "You know, for years now, I told myself that if Alice wanted to leave, it would be easy for me, that even though you all were my family, Alice was the only one I cared about pleasing."

She tilted her head, an easy smile on her beautiful face. "And now?"

"I was wrong." He paused and glanced at his scarred hands. "It was hard. I knew we had hurt you and Carlisle. I knew that Edward and Bella would feel lost without Alice and that you all would feel blind without her." He shrugged. "It was hard," he said again.

She watched him stare at his hands and her eyes narrowed. "We didn't just miss Alice, Jasper." She stretched forward and nudged his chin up to meet her eyes. "Emmett counts on you when Edward gets too serious. Carlisle missed your council. Renesmee asked for you just as often as she asked for Alice. I think even Rose felt your loss acutely."

Jasper chuckled. "Even the fake twin connection can be strong."

She smiled easily again. "And I missed you, Jasper." She threaded her fingers together and rested them in her lap. "It has been a pleasure watching you grow over these past decades. Seeing you become more than you thought possible has been one of my greatest joys." She shrugged as his eyes dropped shyly to his hands again. "And maybe you do it all for Alice, but it gives me great pride."

"I don't," he said quickly, his eyes flicking up to meet hers again. "I mean, I don't do it just for Alice. She might be the biggest reason but..." He trailed off and offered her a simple smile. "I just want to be as good as you and Carlisle."

She shook her head, "That you try after so long, that you endure such torture and continue to have hope makes you the best of all of us." She planted her chin in her hand. "I wish you could see yourself the way that I do, the way that Alice does."

He chuckled. "I really missed you, mom."

She grinned magnificently, her face alight with pleasure. She could count on one hand the number of times he had called her 'mom.' "That's right, Jasper. I'm as much your mother as Edward's or Alice's and this family is not complete without you."

Esme stood and touched his face. "Now, let's go find Nessie. She should be awake now and she has been dying to talk to you."

Jasper smiled as he stood, as Esme linked her arm through his and started for the door. He continued to smile as Esme chattered softly about the things he had missed while he was gone. He smiled as Emmett passed on the stairs, asking to wrestle later. He smiled as Alice grinned at him from her place next to Edward at the piano bench. And he smiled as Nessie threw herself into his waiting arms, utterly trusting that her beloved uncle would catch her.

She touched his face and showed him her family, one by one. She settled on him and Alice, showing them her view as they ran into the clearing. He could feel her elation and love.

"Yes, Nessie." He nuzzled her cheek, easily ignoring her scent. He glanced then at his wife and then his mother. "We're home, now."

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Note: I love Esme and even though we never got to see it in the books, I imagined there would be a certain dynamic between her and Jasper. Anyway, review and head on to the next one. Thanks.

-Brynna


	4. It's All Wrong, But It's All Right

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Dolly Parton.

Synopsis: Bella interrupts Alice and Jasper during an intimate moment.

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"_Hello, are you free tonight? I like your looks, I love your smile. Could I use you for awhile? It's all wrong, but it's all right." - It's All Wrong But It's All Right by Dolly Parton_

**It's All Wrong But It's All Right**

She was positively wrapped around him. Her legs encircled his waist, their heights even for the moment.

He was leaning against her desk, cupping her bottom to hold her against his body. His shirt was open, her nails raked down his stone chest. She traced scars, knowing that if she was clear-headed, she could recite the story of each scar's origin.

His lips were moving against hers in a way that was utterly familiar and somehow new all at the same time. She smiled against them as he balanced her carefully and moved to open the buttons of her shirt with one hand. "Why do we wear shirts with buttons?" he asked as he looked down, frustrated when one refused to slip out of the buttonhole.

She grinned and skimmed her lips against his jaw. "Just tear it."

He did as she asked with a quick, effortless motion and lowered his mouth to rain kisses over her collarbone as the scraps of her shirt fluttered to the floor. He wrapped his arm around her and fiddled with the clasp of her bra. "Why do you wear bras?"

Alice laughed. She kissed a familiar scar near his ear and whispered softly, "You know, after fifty years, the real question is, why aren't you better at that?"

As if to prove her wrong, he slid the top hook out of the little eye easily and grinned smugly. "I just like to tear your clothes." He punctuated the statement with the simple flexing of his fingers. The other hook popped off with a ripping noise and a little metallic thump as it hit the desk chair on its way to the floor.

She rolled her eyes with a grin and then let them fall shut as his lips moved across her jaw and down the pale white column of her neck.

The vision hit her instantly and she groaned.

"Are we in mortal danger?" Jasper asked, kissing her throat in between his words. She had stiffened nearly imperceptibly as the vision hit. Her emotions had suddenly become tinged with annoyance.

"No." She threaded her fingers through his hair. "Bella's going to walk in on us."

Jasper skimmed his lips over to the strap of her bra. "And then she'll walk out again?"

Alice nodded. "Yes."

"Then I don't care."

She raised an eyebrow. "And people think you are such a gentleman."

He made a growling sound deep in his throat and leaned back to smile at her. "I have beautiful wife, we aren't in danger, and we're supposed to be home alone." His grinned turned mischievous as he heard the front door open. "Bella's lucky she's just walking in on the foreplay."

Alice laughed fully and swatted his chest lightly.

This was the Jasper that still kept her on her toes. The one that could cast off the pain of his memories and the stress of his shortcomings. The one that could joke with Emmett and delight in her enthusiasm.

"She is going to be embarrassed."

Jasper kissed her jaw again. "She'll forget about it the first time she walks in on Carlisle and Esme."

She groaned. There was so little privacy in the house. They had all interrupted each other at some point in their long time together. "Poor Bella."

As if she heard her name, the door flew open. Jasper grinned against Alice's skin and he felt her fingers tighten in his hair.

"Alice, I – Oh, I wasn't –" Bella stammered. "Sorry!" she nearly squeaked. She turned and started to flee.

"Door!" Alice yelled, grinning as she felt Jasper shaking with laughter.

"Sorry!" she called again as she ran back, her eyes neatly averted.

Jasper was laughing audibly as the door slammed shut. Alice tilted her head and smiled when she heard the thud of the front door slamming moments later.

He leaned back again, his laughter beginning to subside. "She'll knock from now on?"

Alice nodded. "And listen more closely." She pulled his head closer. "You know..." She kissed him softly. "We could have just locked the door."

Jasper laughed. "No way."

Alice's eyes narrowed as another vision flitted through her mind. "You have a bet with Emmett...about this?!" Her voice was high with both surprise and amusement.

"He said Bella would definitely walk in on him and Rose first." He nipped at her bottom lip. "I bet on us."

She gave him a skeptical look. They were discreet and careful. Rose and Emmett were exactly the opposite. "Not the safest bet."

He shrugged and held her tight, pushing himself off the desk suddenly and carrying her over to the bed. He tore off the remainder of her ruined bra as he walked. "I'll always bet on us." He deposited her on the bed and tumbled after her, their lips crashing together, renewed passion taking over her amusement. "And." He nipped at her collarbone. "I just won a hundred dollars."

"Good," she said on a moan as his lips moved lower. "You can use it to buy me a new bra."

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Note: This was fun to write. I already have several more one-shots in various stages of completion. I will post more next week. Review!

- Brynna


	5. This is War

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Smile Empty Soul.

Synopsis: Edward talks to Jasper after he and Alice return from Italy.

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"_I drove in a car and flew in a plane to come to your house and kick your door in. Now it's down to this, it's just you and me."__ - This is War by Smile Empty Soul_

**This is War**

Edward could hear Jasper's thoughts clearly as he moved up the stairs. He grimaced at the images flitting through his mind, a scantily clad Alice moving over him as they made up for lost days.

He paused at the door to Jasper's study as the thoughts dipped into even more dangerous territory. Every fiber of his being screamed for him to tune Jasper out but instead, he grimaced again and shuddered once before knocking on the door.

"Come in," Jasper said clearly.

Edward pushed the door open, his eyebrows raised. "Nice thoughts."

Jasper was leaning back in his desk chair, his long legs propped on the desk and crossed at the ankle. A book was lying forgotten on his lap. He held up his hand and the light glinted off the gold band he only ever wore in private. "I married her. I'm entitled."

Edward nodded, wincing a little as the memory of Jasper's thoughts raced through his mind again. "I've been waiting for a chance to speak with you."

Jasper lowered his legs and tossed the book onto the desk. "About what?"

Edward could hear the edge in his voice, the little snarl that clearly said that all was not yet forgiven. Edward lowered his voice and spoke quickly, "Esme's in the house."

Everyone in the family knew what those words meant. It was just as effective as saying, "I have something troubling to say and I can't stand to worry her."

Jasper stood fluidly and they moved from the room together. Edward led the way to the little stream and the hulking boulders that had so often served as a place for family conversations away from the house.

Edward leaned against the smooth face of one of the huge gray rocks and eyed the water. Jasper faced him, standing straight and tall, his arms crossed over his chest, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

"Look," Edward said, "I know you are pissed at me."

Jasper snarled. "I think I'm allowed that one, too."

"I didn't mean to put her in danger."

Jasper narrowed his eyes a little and Edward saw it all flash through his mind. His anger during those days without Alice had passed from himself to Bella to Rosalie to Alice and to Edward as all of the players in the horrible mess were accounted for. His thoughts turned to those moments when he had been sure she would never return from Italy. He thought of his plans and Edward winced. Jasper had envisioned taking on the Volturi himself, killing whoever he could until they finally killed him. It would have been a quick way to go and more pleasant, in Jasper's mind, than living without Alice.

"You knew she would follow you," Jasper said, quietly.

"If I had been thinking clearly..." Edward shook his head. "You just showed me that you would do the same thing."

"No one would follow me!" Jasper growled, his anger finally exploding over.

If Edward could have backed up a step, he would have. As it was, he pressed his back more tightly against the boulder and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

He and Jasper had never argued with any sort of true malice. There was really only one button to push with Jasper and he had pushed it in a big way. Putting Alice in any kind of danger was the one thing that could shake that careful reserve.

"Jasper, I can only offer you my apology. I love Alice too and I would never intentionally do anything to hurt her." He paused as he watched Jasper start to calm. "Or you."

Jasper dropped his arms and sighed, let the words hang between them as he steadied his emotions. "I understand why you went." He moved forward to stare at the water. "And I will forever be grateful to you and Bella for bringing her back to me."

Edward shook his head in disbelief. Jasper often used his gentlemanly sensibilities to try and mask his true thoughts. "She brought _us_ back," Edward said with a tight smile.

Jasper laughed but the sound was sad. "What's the rest?"

"What?" Edward asked, unable to easily pick the meaning out of his meandering thoughts.

"The rest. I can still feel your eagerness. What else do you have to tell me?"

Edward closed his eyes briefly. "The danger isn't over," he whispered.

"Aro?" Jasper asked, his teeth clenched as he ground out the word like an expletive. All his hard-won calm vanishing to be replaced by newly directed anger.

"She told you he touched her?" Of course she had. Edward wasn't even sure why that was a surprise. Alice would never keep something like that from him.

Jasper swallowed. "She said he covets her gift."

Edward nodded. "That's what I wanted to tell you. I don't think she understands the depth of his desire." He turned to face his brother. "He isn't going to be satisfied until he has her."

Jasper's eyes were still staring at the water, his mind immediately going into military mode. Scenario after scenario floated through in a matter of moments.

"He'll use any excuse," Edward said.

His brother glanced over before again staring into the rippling stream. His thoughts had turned to failure. He imagined Alice in a black robe, her eyes red. "Would they take me?" Jasper turned to face Edward, their eyes meeting finally. "If it came down to it. Would they take me, too?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "We can't let it come down to that."

Jasper gazed at Edward for long moments before nodding, understanding flooding through them and for the moment, they simply _were_ brothers. "They can't have her."

Edward let a slow smile curl his lips. "No, they can't." They had no plan, no chance against Aro, nothing positive to cling to. But in that moment, they had a new common realization. They would save Alice from that fate or they would die trying.

Edward heard his sister shouting his name in her mind as she sped down the long drive. _Stop talking about me, Edward. Bella is waiting for you._ Her directed thoughts ceased as she cruised easily into the garage and cut off the engine. _I want my husband back now. _

"She's back," Edward said to Jasper. "And she's looking for you."

"Thanks." Edward nodded as Jasper turned his gaze again to the water. He didn't know if the thanks was for the talk or for letting him know that Alice had come home.

"Sure," he said simply, already turning back for the house. Jasper was leaning against the rock, every part of him more relaxed as Alice made her way back to him.

Edward winced as Jasper's thoughts turned again toward his reunion with Alice. Stilettos and lacy garters filled his mind before he shut him out. "Can't you wait until I get further away?" he muttered.

Jasper laughed audibly. "Married!" he called after Edward's retreating form. Then quieter, so that Edward could barely hear him, he muttered, "You'll see."

Edward slowed as Jasper called his name in his mind. _You have to remember that your actions impact us all._ It was a gentle admonishment but it was admonishment all the same. Edward slowed to a stop and turned to face the direction Jasper was standing. It was the exact kind of thing that Jasper would never say out loud. _ I can forgive you almost anything, but if something you do brings Aro down on Alice..._ He let the threat trail. _He can't have her, Edward. Be our brother and Bella's man._

"I know," Edward said, not caring if Jasper could actually hear. "I will."

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Note: I have a couple of other Edward and Jasper moments started but this one really just begged to be completed. Review and then head to the next one! -Brynna


	6. I Will Show You Love

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Kendall Payne.

Synopsis: Jasper comforts Alice during one of her headaches in Breaking Dawn.

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"_You will come alive again and call the trying times your friend. The pain that you have suffered through will never get the best of you__." - I Will Show You Love by Kendall Payne_

**I Will Show You Love**

Jasper watched his wife pace back and forth across the floor of their room. In their time together, he had never known her to be particularly still, but he had never seen her movements carry so much tension.

Her steps were stiff and jerky with only a shadow of her usual grace. An arm was pressed across her stomach and the other was hanging uselessly, only to rise, seemingly of its own volition to touch her temple lightly.

Alice's face was a study in pain and frustration. Her brow was creased deeply, her lips pressed into a thin line.

"I can find one of the wolves," Jasper said quietly.

She shook her head in a convulsive movement. "Seth and Jacob are patrolling."

He watched her pace to the window and back once more. "We could get away until Leah wakes up and takes over for one of them."

Alice spared him a glance and shook her head again. "You know we can't."

"I can't stand this, Alice." He dropped into her desk chair and watched her endless pacing continue. She clenched and unclenched her fists every few steps.

"We have to stay close." Her voice was quiet and her hand fluttered across her forehead.

Jasper said nothing for long moments and watched as she winced. She paused in her pacing, her wince deepening as she turned toward the bed. She crawled on pitifully and dropped onto her stomach. She turned her face toward the window, her eyes closed tight against the pain. She let her fingers curl into the fabric of the bedspread. "What if it's always like this now, Jazz?" she whispered.

Jasper took in her form, leaning forward in his chair. "Alice..." he muttered, trailing off when he realized he had nothing to say. What if it was? Would they leave? Would she be able to live with only sporadic use of her power? Would he be able to watch her suffer?

He watched her twist the bedspread between her fingers, a little whimper escaping her lips as her pain increased. Jasper stood without thinking and crawled onto their bed. He covered her tiny body with his larger one. He fit his knees behind hers and slid an arm under her stomach. His chin settled at her shoulder. His free hand stole across the bedspread to loosen her fingers' purchase on the fabric. Jasper threaded their fingers together and squeezed. He let his own eyes close and touched her temple with soft lips.

"I'm sorry, Alice," he whispered.

"Can you do anything, Jazz?"

He never used his power on her unless she asked and he felt relieved upon hearing the words. Calm coursed through him as he worked to sway her emotions. The pain would still be there, but at least she would be more at peace.

"Thanks," she breathed.

The tension in her fingers loosened in his hand. He pressed another kiss to her temple, his blond hair falling across his forehead to tickle her skin.

"I'm afraid we'll have to leave, Jasper," she whispered, giving voice to both of their fears. "I can't sit with werewolves forever."

"If the child is born safe, they'll move to the cottage."

"Then what?" she whispered.

He smiled and wrapped his arm more tightly around her. His long legs were tangled with hers and he let his foot skim up and down her calf. He worked to send her other comforting emotions. Happiness and love rolled over her. "I don't know. The 'then whats' are usually your speciality."

She shook her head and made her desire to move from the comfortable cocoon of his body known. He loosened his grip and she turned over to face him. "Patience is yours."

"How about this. For now, you let me calm you and you sit with wolves and then we see." Jasper moved to lay on his side. Their legs were still tangled together and she rolled to face him. He reached out a hand to trail gentle fingers across her furrowed brow. "We could always have a cottage of our own. Esme and Carlisle would give us that if we asked."

She sighed, her eyes falling shut. "You're right. It's not all or nothing."

"No." He leaned forward to touch his forehead to hers and she reached up to play with his hair.

"What does our cottage look like?" Her voice was nearly back to normal. It was high and clear enough to fool anyone but him. The pain was still there.

"Ninety percent closet." He grinned as she laughed lightly.

They stared at each other for long moments. Eventually her smile faded and was replaced by a pained frown. She curled against him and fit her head into his neck. She whimpered just a bit.

Jasper wrapped his arms around her again and pressed his lips to the top of her head. "What do _you_ want in our cottage?"

Her voice was muffled when she spoke. "The closet." He laughed in an explosive little burst.

"What else?"

She burrowed closer to him, her eyelashes fluttering against his neck, her lips whisper soft against his shoulder as they moved to answer. "You'll be there?"

"Of course."

She nodded and lay still in his arms. His skin tingled as her lips moved again. "That's fine then."

* * *

Note: Well, I suffer from migraines so that's kind of where this chapter came from. Only two new chapters tonight. Over Thanksgiving I plan to get some writing in so I might post again this week.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to review, favorite, and alert. Thanks also for finding and embracing my other Jasper/Alice fic, Redefining Words. The renewed interest in that story since I posted this one has been great.

Oh and I promise to post something a little less angsty in the next batch. Anyone up for a little Alice/Bella pre-wedding sex talk? ;)

Review! - Brynna

P.S. Katako-Chan: Sure, I'd write that. As a matter of fact, you've given me an idea. Add me to your alerts. I think you'll see an Esme/Carlisle get interrupted story soon.


	7. Have It All

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Jeremy Kay.

Synopsis: Bella asks Alice some personal questions before the wedding.

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"__Some days I wake up dreaming, feels like I never even woke. I answer life's big questions as if it's one big joke. Maybe it's too soon to be sure, but I really do believe that someday we're gonna have it all." - Have It All by Jeremy Kay_

**Have It All**

The car raced down the darkened roads. Bella stared out the window, her thoughts far away from the darkened shapes whizzing past.

"Bella," Alice said quietly from the driver's seat. She glanced at Bella and waited for her to turn to face her. "Just ask me."

Bella sighed. Occasionally it was irritating to have a prescient best friend. "Do I have to ask?"

Alice lifted an eyebrow, her eyes back on the road. "I think you do."

Bella sighed again. "What's it like, Alice?"

"It?" The teasing in Alice's tone made Bella want to strangle her.

She groaned softly. "You're going to make me work for this, aren't you." She shook her head and faced her friend. "Sex, Alice. What is sex like?"

Alice chuckled at Bella's exasperation. "I – that's a really broad question." Bella gazed at her pleadingly and Alice sighed, her face still alight with her amused smile. "I only have experience with Jasper, Bella. Maybe you could talk to Esme."

Bella shook her head in a convulsive little gesture that simply said, _I need advice and it's hard enough asking you_.

Alice tilted her head and laughed a little. "I don't really know what you want to know. It's fantastic." Bella gazed at her best friend's face, waiting for her to say more. "It's when I feel the most complete." She sighed then. "Ask me, Bella. If you want the personal stuff, you have to say the words."

Bella glanced out the window and then turned back to her smirking friend. "Alice..." she groaned.

"You think the questions are difficult? Try having to answer them."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Have you ever been embarrassed by anything?"

Alice paused and squinted just a bit as if trying to draw up an embarrassing memory. "That's a good point, actually. But these aren't things I talk about often."

Bella suddenly felt like she was intruding on Jasper and Alice's privacy. Edward had once described their connection as intensely personal, beautifully spiritual. "You don't have to." Bella shifted her gaze again toward the window, wanting an out on this entire conversation.

She heard Alice sigh again and slow the car to a more normal rate. "I don't know how it will be for you. Jasper is a gentleman and I am sure Edward will be as well." Bella waited for some sound of disgust in Alice's voice but there was none to be found.

"It doesn't bother you? Thinking about your brother in that way?"

Alice shook her head. "I can't always choose not to look. I have seen the intimate moments of everyone in the family." She laughed lightly. "You kind of get used to it after awhile."

There was a long, uncomfortable stretch of silence between them while Bella worked up the nerve to ask her next question.

"Look," Alice said, slowing the car to a crawl and pulling onto the shoulder, "Jasper and I – I saw us together before our first time. I never had the desire to talk to anyone first but I promise I won't judge you. I'll answer if I can, and I'll block my thoughts so Edward never knows of this conversation. Now, will you just ask me?"

Bella sighed and seemed to consider Alice's words. When she spoke again, she sounded a little more assured. "Did it hurt the first time?"

"I was a vampire, Bella," she reminded her gently.

Bella leaned forward, eager now for some clue of what she might be in for after her change. "I'll be a vampire soon. Tell me about that."

Alice shook her head. "It doesn't hurt. I suppose it could but Edward would never hurt you." She grinned suddenly. "You might hurt some furniture."

Bella smiled, still not quite comprehending the changes she would experience. The terms of her vampirism had always seemed like an abstract thing, something she would be able to observe from a safe distance. She still couldn't imagine herself strong enough to do any harm to furniture. And if she would be strong enough, wouldn't the others...hear? She blushed slightly at the thought. "How do you find privacy in that house?"

Alice shrugged. "Everybody has their ways." She touched her temple. "I look ahead."

Bella smiled and leaned back in her seat. "How different do you think it'll be? Human to vampire I mean."

Alice twisted, leaning back against the door and pulling one skinny leg onto the seat. "I asked Esme." Bella started to protest and Alice held up her hands. "I saw that you were thinking of asking me and I knew you might not want to ask her yourself."

"Alice..." Bella groaned.

"She told me she'd keep it from Edward."

Bella let out a long sigh. "In for a penny..." she muttered. Then louder, "Well, what did she say?"

"She said it'll be different because her husband didn't – " Alice swallowed and glanced at her hands. "He never tried to be gentle." She looked again at Bella. "But she said that when she was changed, every sensation was infinitely more extraordinary. All of our senses are heightened, Bella."

Bella nodded. "Right, for hunting."

"For hunting, yes. But it also makes for some fantastic sex." Alice grinned as Bella laughed in surprise.

She sobered quickly, her laughter dying and her smile turning a bit nervous. "Have you seen us together?"

Alice tilted her head. "Bella, I won't look unless one of you asks me to."

"Shouldn't you check to make sure that he can stay in control?"

She shook her head. "The decision not to kill you has been made and that's all I would see. If he lost control, it would be instinctual, beyond my sight." Alice leaned forward and placed a hand on Bella's cheek. "If anyone can do it, it's Edward." She moved her hand to Bella's hair, stroking gently as she realized her hand would chill Bella's fragile skin. "He's waited for you for a century and his will, where you are concerned, is staggering."

"I'm nervous," Bella said honestly.

Alice let her hand drop back to her lap. "I was too. Even seeing first, I was still nervous."

"How did you get over it?"

"I remembered that he chose me, all of me. Jasper had...been with others. Prettier women, more serious women, taller, longer hair, less chatty." She smiled. "But he chose me. Once we were in the moment, the nerves faded away and I realized that all the worry had been for nothing."

Bella sighed and closed her eyes. "It _is_ Edward," she said, trying to force out the nerves and remind herself that he loved her, that any missteps would be forgotten immediately, that her fears and insecurities were well-known and fully accepted. "Thanks Alice."

Alice turned to start the car, throwing it into gear, stepping on the gas and speeding back into traffic in one dizzying motion. "No problem, Bella. Besides, sex is the easy part. You have an eternity to get it right. What you should really be nervous about is the walk down the stairs in your wedding dress."

Bella groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Thanks Alice."

"I'm just saying, you only have one shot at _that_."

Bella smiled at her friend, her eyes rolling to appease Alice's efforts. Her attempts to replace her big fears with something a little more mundane did not go unnoticed. When she spoke again, her voice was sincere, her smile gentle for the friend who had welcomed her unconditionally and had worked to keep her safe and happy. Her words were simple but they were all she had to offer for the council and friendship.

"Thank you, Alice."

* * *

Note: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and thanks again for the favorites and alerts. I would love to say something special to each reviewer but just know that you've brightened my day and pushed me to strive to make each chapter worthy of your time.

Now review and head to the next one. - Brynna

P.S. Ladylovercsi08: I have been tinkering with a long fic that deals with Alice and Aro's connection but I am not sure what will come of it. I would need to have most of it written before I posted any (because I am usually much slower than I have been lately).

P.P.S. : paper creations: Stay tuned. More of Jasper interacting with the rest of the family is on the horizon.


	8. Both Sides Now

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Joni Mitchell.

Synopsis: Charlie observes Jasper and Alice.

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_"_I've looked at love from both sides now. From give and take, and still somehow it's loves illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all." - Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell_

**Both Sides Now**

"Grandpa, do you know how to draw a wolf?"

Charlie tore his gaze from the Cullen's huge television and glanced down at Renesmee. She was sprawled out at his feet, a crayon in her little dimpled fist as she concentrated on her drawing. "I can draw a stick wolf," he said apologetically.

She looked up at him and wrinkled her nose before bowing her head back over the paper. Her little tongue peeked out from the corner of her mouth as she struggled with her drawing.

"Nessie, you should draw something pretty," Rosalie said from her place at the chess set. She and Bella were locked in a heated battle, their game progressing at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Wolves _are_ pretty," Nessie insisted. Rosalie snorted and moved one of her pieces, saying nothing but clearly disagreeing.

Little Alice was settled in the overstuffed arm chair, her feet dangling a foot off the ground. She was engrossed in a novel, her fingers fluttering over the pages as she read at a rapid speed. He pretended he didn't notice that she was turning the pages at a pace that was slightly faster than should be possible. "What are you reading, Alice?"

"Hmm?" She lifted her head. "Oh, Through the Looking Glass. It's an old favorite." She held up the book to show him the worn cover and yellowing pages. "I think I have it memorized."

"Looks like you've had that copy for awhile."

She held it to her chest, her finger carefully marking her place. "It was a gift from Jasper."

As if on cue, Jasper made his way down the stairs. Charlie looked up at him in surprise. He very rarely saw the boy on his visits. Jasper greeted him politely as he made his way over to Alice. He perched on the armrest of her chair, his hand settling on her shoulder. "It seemed an appropriate gift," he said, as if he had been a part of the conversation the whole time.

Alice curled her legs into the chair and leaned against him. He draped his arm across her shoulders and gazed at her with a pained expression. She smiled at him and went back to her book. Jasper glanced at Charlie, his jaw clenching and unclenching in an unsettling way.

Charlie turned his attention back to the game, crossing his legs to let his ankle rest on his knee. He was trying for casual, even though he felt suddenly tense with Jasper in the room.

Emmett was sprawled over the other half of the couch. His huge frame was settled deep into the cushions, one arm draped over the back of the couch, the other flopped across the armrest. "You're going to owe me some serious money, Jasper," he said with a teasing smile. Emmett turned to Charlie. "Fantasy football," he said in the way of an explanation.

Charlie glanced over at Jasper, feeling the need to engage him in spite of his discomfort. "Bad picks?"

Alice shook her head before Jasper could answer. "Great picks."

Emmett groaned. "You aren't supposed to get help from Alice!"

Charlie's brow furrowed at the exchange. Alice stuck her tongue out at Emmett and winked at Charlie before returning to her book.

Edward coughed from his place at the piano bench and Jasper spoke up smoothly, "Alice has a bit of a lucky streak." Emmett groaned again but Charlie felt the tension leave his body suddenly as calm washed over him. He felt too relaxed to question the sudden change in his emotions.

Edward started playing again, the sounds of the piano mingling with the sounds of the game. Charlie kept his attention trained on the television, glancing as indiscreetly as possible at Alice and Jasper. The blonde had turned his gaze to the game, his jaw still clenching and unclenching in a nearly rhythmic motion. His hand was caressing Alice's shoulder gently, his thumb making tiny circles.

Charlie scowled a little at the affectionate display. He found Jasper unsettling. There was a dangerous glint in the boy's eye that Charlie simply didn't care for. He had mentioned his feelings of unease to Sue once and she had laughed, gently suggesting that his own feelings for Alice would keep him from approving of anyone for her.

She was probably right. Charlie looked again to the pair. He wondered, fleetingly, if their relationship was lasting.

Edward laughed suddenly, his fingers halting on the keys. Nessie stood from her drawing and looked at her father curiously. She granted Charlie one of her ethereal little grins and then moved to touch Alice on the leg.

Alice closed her book and wordlessly slid from the chair. She crawled onto the floor and stretched out on her stomach in a mimic of Renesmee's earlier pose. She found a fresh sheet of paper and selected a crayon. Her hand flew over the paper as she began to sketch.

Nessie watched her aunt for a moment and then eyed Jasper. He stared back and Charlie watched in confusion as a slow smile started to spread across Nessie's face. Jasper raised an eyebrow and she bounced on the balls of her feet a couple of times.

She climbed into Alice's abandoned chair and grabbed onto Jasper's shirt. She scampered up his back and he automatically reached a hand around to steady her. She looped her arms around his neck, her knees drawn up in what was obviously a common routine.

"Gothca, Uncle Jazz," she said, her voice high and delighted.

Alice laughed lightly, her head still bowed over her work.

"Look, Alice," Jasper said with a sly grin. "I have a new little monster."

Charlie's eye's narrowed again as he watched Nessie lay her little chin on Jasper's shoulder. He turned his head to grin at her, speaking too low and quiet for Charlie to hear. Nessie laughed suddenly, joyful little squeals as Jasper reached back and hooked his hands around her middle. He flipped her over and settled her in his lap.

"Gotcha, Nessie," Jasper said as she giggled happily.

"Nessie, we'll take Jasper down later," Emmett said with a dangerous grin.

"Yeah right," Jasper said, his smile still in place. "Nessie's my monster."

"Is Alice drawing me a good wolf?" Nessie asked Charlie, suddenly.

Charlie turned his gaze from his granddaughter and her uncle to let his eyes trail to the drawing. He was startled to see that it wasn't just a good wolf, it was a perfect rendering of a wolf. "Alice, you have a real talent." He wasn't sure why that was surprising. Everyone in the house seemed to be able to do everything exceptionally well.

"She draws the best," Nessie said in a sing-song voice.

"Thanks Charlie." Alice dropped her crayon and stood, eyeing the drawing for a moment before turning to her niece. "You have to color it in."

Jasper settled Nessie on her sturdy little legs and let her dance away. She clapped when she saw the drawing and then dropped to her pile of crayons.

Jasper slid from the armrest into the chair and Alice settled comfortably in his lap. She melted into him and he wrapped his long arms around her and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. It was the body language of comfortable lovers and Charlie didn't quite understand.

He gritted his teeth. Sure, it seemed like Jasper was great with Nessie and it did seem like he really loved Alice, but...weren't there better guys for her? Jasper seemed entirely too dangerous for delicate Alice. He seemed too surly for her constant cheer.

Charlie wondered again if they were lasting. He mentally flipped through some of the boys he knew that he thought would be great for her.

Edward laughed again, louder and longer this time. Charlie looked over in confusion and when he glanced back, Alice was eyeing him from her perch on her boyfriend's lap. "Edward gets lost in his own thoughts when he's playing," she said with a sweet smile.

Charlie nodded, accepting the answer easily, used to the flimsy excuses by now. His eyes darted to Jasper and then back to Alice. "So uh...how long have you kids been...dating?"

"Dad..." Bella said, her voice heavy with exasperation.

"I'm just curious."

Alice smiled magnificently, her head tilting back to glance at Jasper. "A while."

Emmett snickered a bit, his eyes still trained on the television. "Are you worried about Alice?" he asked, humor thick in his voice. It seemed that all the Cullens knew that he had a special affinity for Alice.

"Not worried," he insisted, then repeated for good measure, "Just curious."

He was worried.

He watched Jasper bury his face in Alice's hair, watched his eyes fall shut briefly before he met Charlie's gaze, his expression hardening marginally. Jasper's jaw clenched again. Charlie felt like scooting further down the couch. Instead he swallowed and stammered, "How – uh, how long is 'a while'?"

* * *

Note: I didn't love Breaking Dawn, but I actually do enjoy Nessie as a character and I like what she could potentially bring out in the others. Charlie was an interesting perspective for me to try to write. I'm not sure I'll do it again. I don't feel like I have as good of a grasp on him as I do on the others.

Look for a fun chapter and a little more angst early next week.

Oh and for those who expressed interest in the Carlisle/Esme get interrupted fic, look for chapter one tonight or early tomorrow.

Now review! -Brynna


	9. Times Like These

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to the Foo Fighters.

Synopsis: Just a simple, family vignette.

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_"_It's times like these you learn to love again. It's times like these time and time again." - Times Like These by Foo Fighters_

**Times Like These**

Jasper couldn't remember the last time he was so amused.

Alice was scowling at him, her brow furrowed in annoyance. Esme was rubbing her back lightly in a comforting gesture but Alice was clearly seething.

The family was gathered around the table and for the first time ever, they were playing a fair game. Poker chips were stacked high in front of each of the players but Alice's stack was already dwindling, after only a few hands. Rain was pounding on the windows and for the moment, they were just like any other family, staying in on a rainy winter's day.

Nessie was sitting on her lap, twirling chips on the smooth antique table and Seth was next to her, a stack of chips and a heaping plate of food in front of him. She tried to see past them, her eyes blanking and refocusing every few minutes. He knew she could do it. Nessie and Seth were just obstacles, just blank spots in her vision. If she tried hard enough, she could push past them and see. Cards were easy for her. Once the cards were shuffled, the order of the cards determined the hands. There were no decisions to be made. But with Nessie right on her lap and Seth inches away, seeing the cards would be like wading through quicksand.

Carlisle dealt a hand and a round of betting began. Alice's eyes unfocused and Jasper chuckled as the life came back into her face and her mouth turned down again into its scowl. She threw some chips into the pile and leaned back in her chair.

"Stop scowling Alice," Bella said as she folded her hand. She squinted her eyes, clearly testing the shield she was holding to keep Edward out of the others' minds. Her face smoothed and she grinned. "Now you know how the rest of us feel every day."

"Yeah, yeah," Alice muttered, sinking further into her chair.

Jasper could feel her irritation but also her amusement. She wasn't nearly as put out as she was feigning.

She narrowed her eyes at Jasper and he winked, his mouth curved up in a crooked smirk. She rolled her eyes, smiling just a little and Jasper felt her emotions surge with a strange mixture of lust and annoyance. He raised his eyebrows but she was gone. Her eyes were blank, staring at nothing.

Her eyes were still blank as Rosalie collected the winnings and Esme started to shuffle. They were still blank as Carlisle cut the deck and Esme started to pass out the cards.

"Seth, hug Alice," Emmett said, only halfway joking.

"What?" Seth asked around a mouthful of steak.

Emmett started to repeat the request, but stopped when the front door opened. He smiled widely as he caught the scent.

"Excellent," Rose said, lifting her cards with a glance at Alice.

Alice's eyes refocused and she groaned as Jacob walked into the dining room. "Hey." His long hair was soaked from the rain and his feet were in socks, his muddy boots probably on the porch. Though he didn't really care for the wolves, Jasper greatly appreciated the respect they gave Esme. Both were careful to never track mud onto her floors, to rinse their plates when she would actually let them handle their own dishes, and to always compliment her cooking.

"I made food, Jacob," Esme said after all the pleasantries were exchanged, "would you like me to make you a plate?"

"Uh, no thank you." He pushed a hand through his soaked hair, glancing from Nessie to Esme. "I can get it."

As he walked into the kitchen, Jasper watched Alice pick up her cards, her eyes again unfocused. He laughed lightly. She was certainly a persistent little thing. Her scowl returned as Jacob came back into the room, his plate filled to capacity.

"Great," Rosalie said, enthusiastically, "Jacob, you pull a chair up right behind Alice."

His brow furrowed, clearly confused by Rose's sudden good attitude. "Alright," he said, pulling one of the ornate arm chairs from the corner of the room.

"I was just getting through," Alice sighed, leaning back in her chair again.

"That's fantastic, Alice." Carlisle's voice was thick with pride. He threw some chips into the pile as the betting reached him. "Two obstacles!"

Rosalie tossed her hair. "It's fantastic when I'm not winning."

"The family has never had a fair game of anything," Bella explained to Jacob.

"You're shielding?" he asked, "And Nessie and Seth are blocking Alice?" Bella nodded and Jacob turned his attention to Jasper. "What about you?"

"They have to control their emotions."

"Except me." Alice said with a roll of her eyes. "He is more attuned to my emotions."

Jasper grinned at his sulking wife. It was true. He knew every subtle change, every minute flavor of every emotion. He could find her unique emotional signature across a full auditorium.

And he could tell when she was bluffing.

The extremely small undercurrent of nervousness gave her away every time.

"Cheer up, Alice," Jasper said, a bit of a drawl in his voice to coax another smile from her. "I haven't had the upper hand in a game in sixty years."

She picked up her cards. "To be fair, we haven't played a game in over thirty."

Jasper lifted his cards, his mouth turned up again in the same crooked smirk. "Checkers in '75."

"I wasn't cheating." Alice's voice was low and annoyed, repeating the words she had said time and again, "I just happen to be very good at checkers." She pushed an impressive stack of chips into the pile and Jasper felt that tiny flutter of nerves.

Emmett let out an exasperated groan. "Are you really having this argument again?"

"It's not an argument," Jasper said, calling Alice's extravagant raise with a teasing grin. "And I just happen to be very good at poker."

Alice closed her eyes, burying her face in Nessie's hair. "I hate being normal," she whispered.

Jacob glanced over Alice's shoulder at her cards, his plate empty and balanced on his knees. Edward called quickly and shot a grin at Jacob. "Thank you, Jacob."

Alice sighed, the sound muffled by Nessie's hair. "Bella..." She lifted her head and threw a glare at Jake, true annoyance coloring her emotions. "Please shield the dog."

* * *

Note: This was just a silly little thing. Nothing profound and no big finish. I was writing the Alice chapter of the Esme/Carlisle story I'm writing and um...I needed something amusing after that. I wrote this entire chapter in Jacob's POV but it didn't work quite right.

I want to send out a big, HUGE thank you to everyone that reviewed. I cannot believe how generous you all are with your reviews. I write because I love it and I post because I hope someone else will take pleasure in what I write but man, I love to see the review alerts come through. I have felt nothing but welcome in this fandom, even though I am entirely new.

Now, review and head on to the next one! - Brynna


	10. At Last

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Etta James.

Synopsis: Alice and Jasper's first conversation after meeting in the diner.

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_"_At last, my love has come along. My lonely days are over and life is like a song" - At Last by the great Etta James_

**At Last**

Alice's fingers were twitching slightly. There was a strange itch, a tingling just below the skin. She gazed at her hands, tearing her eyes from the man sitting across from her. She had never felt the sensation before. It was as if every cell was crying out for her to move, to touch, to caress.

She clamped her hands around her prop cup of coffee instead, her smile slow and sunny for the man across from her.

She had found him. Jasper was _actually_ sitting across from her.

He was beautiful. Her visions didn't do him justice. His blond hair was falling in wavy locks across his forehead. His red eyes were shy, unsure of the situation. His smile spread slowly under her scrutiny.

"You're happy," he said, "I don't think I've ever felt an emotion so strong."

"It's taken me thirty years to find you."

They were in the farthest corner booth, cautious of the few humans patronizing the little diner at such a late hour. He glanced around and finally met her eyes. "How do you know me?"

Alice touched her temple. "I see things." She kept her voice low. "Like you with emotions. I see things that might happen."

"And you saw me?"

"You were my first vision." Her brow furrowed. "I think."

His slow smile stretched again and he laughed nervously. "Maybe you should explain."

"My first memory is waking up...like this." She motioned toward herself to explain. "And then I had my first vision."

"Me?" His perfect eyebrows were raised over curious eyes. His face had melted back into the serious expression that she had long thought of as his default.

"You." Alice nodded, trying to think of how to tell him everything without overwhelming him.

Jasper glanced at his hands. "Why do you think that is?"

She shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I see you in visions all the time. I figured I was supposed to find you."

"And you have no memories of your life before?"

"None." Alice sighed. "I don't – I don't even know my name is Alice for sure."

"It's a pretty name." His offered a shy smile. "It suits you."

Alice smiled dazzlingly. "Thank you."

"Do you mind if I ask about your eyes?"

"My second vision," Alice said simply.

"Your second vision?"

"After I saw you, I saw this...family of our kind. They live differently and they eat differently."

Jasper traced patterns on the table with one long finger, his face again serious. "How do they eat?"

"Only animals." She leaned forward slightly, her hands still cupped around her coffee. "They live among humans, trying to blend in with them."

Jasper glanced at her and then returned to his patterns. "And you can survive on animals?"

"It can be difficult, but yes. It's harder to get full but we get gold eyes and no guilt so...pretty good trade."

He met her gaze, his eyes sad. "I can feel their fear."

Alice reached out without thinking, covering his hand with her small one. "I know." She had seen it in her visions. He agonized now over every kill, the emotions he felt causing guilt and shame to linger.

She watched him gaze at her hand, and she left it there, feeling bold and a little nervous. After a time, he spoke up, sounding resolute, "Maybe I should give it a try."

A relieved grin spread across her face and then she sobered, remembering that she had more to tell, that he had more decisions to make. "I want to find them. The family, I mean. The Cullens. I want to find them."

"Oh." He slid his hand from under hers and went back to his patterns.

She drew her hand away slowly. "I've seen us there, Jasper. They're going to be _our_ family."

Jasper's hand stilled and he met her eyes, something akin to hope flaring behind those red irises. "I don't – you want me to come with you?"

Alice laughed lightly. "I didn't look for you for three decades just to have one conversation."

She wondered if he could feel it then, the threads of love creeping their way into her emotions. She fell in love with the vision of the man. She missed him before she met him and worked tirelessly to find him. With him sitting in front of her, real and in the flesh, her still heart ached with the force of her love. Alice stamped it down, forcing her elation and relief to dominate her emotional climate.

Jasper watched her curiously, his eyes widening suddenly. Apparently she wasn't so hot at masking her emotions yet. "What else do you see us doing?" he asked with a nervous little catch in his voice.

Alice smiled and her hand crept back across the table. She held it out, palm up, waiting for him to meet her halfway. "Do you want to find out?"

He gave her a fleeting little smile, meeting her gaze before considering her hand. Jasper shook his head, his eyes amused and still a little confused. "I don't understand any of this." His hand started a slow journey across the table and Alice kept their gazes locked. His hand met hers and he twined their fingers together. "Do you already know what I'm going to say?"

She nodded. "You should say it anyway."

He pushed at his hair with his free hand and then covered their joined hands with it. "I want to find out."

* * *

Note: I'll be doing more of these moments from early in their relationship. It's such a rich vein of good stories.

Also, an FYI, I think most of the people who showed interest in the Carlisle/Esme fic have made their way over there already, but if you haven't. Chapter one of six is up and it's called Six Interruptions. Chapter 2 goes up tomorrow (or Thursday if I have to work late).

More probably this weekend. Review! - Brynna

P.S. Special thanks to MarcoLover16 for pointing out my grammatical errors. I am going to need a new beta reader before I start the novel-length A/J fic I'm planning. Any takers? :)

P.P.S. Ladylovercsi08, I am more of an AIM user but I will try to figure out my Yahoo password and check it out. I'm Brynna82 on Yahoo. I think.

P.P.P.S. Octobergrace, HulaHula, Signedsealedwritten, your ideas/requests have been added to my spreadsheet of chapter ideas. Thanks!


	11. Hold You In My Arms

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Ray LaMontagne.

Synopsis: Jasper and Alice disagree over going back to Forks in New Moon.

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_"_When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears, it was easy to see you'd been crying. Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns, but who really profits from the dying. I could hold you in my arms. I could hold you forever__." - Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne_

**Hold You In My Arms**

Jasper had felt the emotional shift of one of Alice's oncoming visions countless times. It always hit him like a sledgehammer, the bundle of apprehension and fear and the sudden dissolution of happiness. The fear had always confused him. He wondered if it was a learned behavior from her human life. Had she been punished for her visions once? Did she fear what she was going to see or the reaction of the people who had thought her crazy?

Her emotions smoothed out once she was in the vision but it was the punch of fear that always had Jasper running to her side. The fear was their little secret. The rest of the family assumed that she relished living in the future, that much of her joy came from the uniqueness and exclusivity of her power.

Jasper knew better. She loved to know. Sometimes she even loved the visions. But when they slammed into her, when they took over her body and mind, she felt nothing but discomfort.

The vision of Bella jumping from the cliff was especially uncomfortable. The fear lingered through the vision, her eyes widening as Bella disappeared. She let out a strangled gasp as she came back to the present, her eyes seeking out Jasper as she collapsed against him. "She's – she's gone."

She pulled away but Jasper kept his grip, confused by the fear still rolling off of her. "What, Alice?"

"Bella. I – I wasn't looking for her but – but she's gone." Her voice was thick with sadness and confusion. She gasped again. "She jumped off a cliff. Jasper she – we have to go to Forks."

She started to turn, to jerk her hands from his and flee up the stairs. He held tight, letting go of one hand and wrapping it around her waist to pull her close. He trailed his lips across her forehead, gentle as a whisper. "Tell me, Alice. Tell me everything."

She closed her eyes, the fingers of her free hand twisting the fabric of his shirt. "Bella jumped off a cliff, Jazz."

"When?"

"I don't know. I – I couldn't tell. Soon, I think. Her future just...she's gone." She was trembling slightly, her emotions in overdrive.

"Calm down, Alice," he whispered into her hair, hugging her fiercely.

"I have to go to Forks, Jazz."

"You can't," he said softly, "we made a promise."

She pulled away, her face a mask of sadness and determination. "I don't care. She's my friend, too. And Charlie. I have to – "

Jasper stepped back, his hands firm on her shoulders as he held her at arm's length. "You _can't_."

Alice shook her head. "You don't understand, Jasper. I love Edward but Bella is _gone_."

Her eyes were wild in her grief and Jasper let her go, running fingers through his hair before shoving his hands in his pockets. "You're going." He stated the fact simply, feeling her panic and anxiousness emanating from her in waves.

"I _have_ to."

Jasper watched her wringing her hands, her eyes searching his for understanding. "We promised," he said.

"I don't care." She shook her head again and moaned softly. "I don't care, Jasper. Edward doesn't have the monopoly on loving Bella."

"I can't go with you." It was agony to say it and a part of him screamed to take it back.

Alice nodded once and turned, dragging herself up the stairs slowly. Jasper shoved his hands though his hair again, her emotions killing him.

He trudged up the stairs a moment after her. She was packing a bag, tossing in clothes with a certain degree of urgency. Jasper leaned against the door frame, guilt coursing through him. "You know I love you," he said quietly.

Alice stopped, a jacket held to her chest as she turned to face him. "Of course. I love you too." Her voice was sad and he ached to reach out to her.

"I just don't think we should interfere."

Alice turned to her bag again, stuffing in the jacket and zipping it up. "I know." She lifted the small bag over her shoulder. "I'll _miss_ you."

He pushed himself from the door frame, his emotions in turmoil. "You'll call me if you need anything? I'll come if you need me."

She reached out and trailed gentle fingers down his cheek. "I have to go."

"I know." He caught her fingers and pressed them against his lips. "I hate this," he whispered.

She smiled, sad and apprehensive. He felt her love for him thread through her emotions and reach out to him like a sweet peace offering. "We don't always have to agree on everything."

"No," he said, "but I like it better when we do."

"I'll call you when I get there."

"And if you need anything?"

"And if I need anything," she agreed. She dropped her bag and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I miss you already."

Jasper pressed a kiss to her head. "I'm sorry about Bella."

Sadness rolled off her again and he heard the slight hitch in her breath. "Maybe I'll make it in time..." she trailed off and he felt hope flame up and die as she did the math.

"You can be there for Charlie." He hugged her close and then let her go. He stooped down to scoop up her bag. "Call me when you get there."

She nodded, her eyes searching his face again. "I will. You'll – you'll explain things to everyone else?"

"I will."

"I wish – " She shook her head, her eyes squeezed shut.

He knew that she wished too many things and in that moment, he wished them all for her, even the one he wouldn't give her. "I can't go," he whispered again.

She opened her eyes. "I know." She took her bag from him and stepped close. She braced her free hand on his chest and stood on her toes. He met her halfway and pressed his lips to hers.

"I could drive you to the airport," Jasper said against her lips.

"No." She smiled at the offer, her eyes still sad. "Keep your promise, Jazz."

He kissed her again, a goodbye kiss this time. "Stay out of trouble. Keep your cell phone on. Call as soon as you get there." He touched her face, running gentle fingers over her skin as if he was remembering every detail. "Come back soon. Stay out of trouble."

She laughed, low and sad. "Anything else?"

He shook his head. "Just...I love you."

She captured his hand and pressed a kiss to one well-loved scar. "Two days. I'll be back in two days."

Jasper nodded and shifted his hand to thread their fingers together. "Is it breaking my promise if I walk you to the door?"

She forced a smile, struggling to make it genuine. "We won't tell him."

Jasper tugged on her hand and then stopped as they stepped into the hall. "Two days, right?"

"Two days."

He nodded, his turmoil and guilt and displeasure at the whole situation warring with his love for her. He sighed sadly. "Then – just – "

"What?"

"Two days." He gave her a tiny little crooked smile "Don't keep me waiting."

* * *

Note: I can't believe I got all the way to chapter 11 before using a Ray LaMontagne song.

Review and head to the next one!

- Brynna


	12. Help

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to The Beatles.

Synopsis: Bella takes issue with a name on her wedding invitation list.

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_"_When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way, but now these days are gone and I'm not so self assured, now I find I've changed my mind I've opened up the doors.__" - Help by The Beatles_

**Help**

The guest list was intimidatingly long. Bella flipped through the pages, skimming the names with a careless eye. "This many people care that I'm getting married?"

Alice shrugged her thin shoulders and kept addressing the invitations at a lightening fast pace. "The whole town cares that you're getting married."

She lifted her eyes briefly and Bella didn't miss her smirk. "Thanks, Alice," she mumbled.

She flipped to the last page and a name seemed to jump off the list. "Oh!" Bella said in surprise.

"What?" Alice asked, still addressing.

"We're going to invite Tanya and her family?" She frowned at her pitiful attempt to sound nonchalant.

Alice nodded and laid her pen down. She planted her elbows on the desk and hooked her fingers together. "Why wouldn't we Bella? They feel bad about refusing to help us. They are like family."

Bella narrowed her eyes. "Are you just pretending that you don't know why I asked?"

Alice smiled beautifully. "Yes. And I think you are ridiculous. Who cares what Tanya looks like? Edward chose you."

Bella could only offer a groan in response. She tossed the list on the desk and flopped dramatically into the chair across from Alice. "What does she look like?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "She is beautiful, Bella, but I just don't see why it matters."

"You don't understand." Bella met her friend's eyes with a pleading gaze. She wanted a little sympathy here. "You only remember being extraordinarily beautiful. You came to Jasper already..." She waved her hands through the air in front of Alice.

Alice tossed her head back and laughed. "Bella, I do understand. I have lived in a house with Rosalie for the last several decades."

Bella shook her head impatiently. "Jasper never had feelings for Rosalie, Alice."

"And Edward never had feelings for Tanya." Before Bella could speak again, Alice leaned back in her chair and considered her for a moment. "I have met Maria." Her voice was soft.

Bella's eyes were wide. She had always assumed that Jasper's ties with Maria were completely severed, that he met Alice and never had to revisit his unpleasant past. "What was that like?"

Alice grimaced. "I saw her coming to visit Jasper and I was a bundle of insecurities."

Bella blinked, trying to imagine what an really insecure Alice would be like. "You?"

Alice nodded. "She was so beautiful and sure and Jasper had told me about their connection. It wasn't the same as ours, of course but...she had a hold on him once."

"What was she like once you met her?"

Alice laughed, high and clear. "Terrifying. When Carlisle welcomed her in, Jasper reached back and found my hand. I don't think he let it go the entire time. He squeezed it like a...lifeline. I was so needlessly worried. I worried that Jasper would miss that life and want to go back. I worried that she would try to take him from me."

Bella shook her head. "Jasper would never – "

"Edward would never," Alice interrupted, "so stop this."

"So you understand how I feel?"

Alice shook her head. "Jasper and Maria had a relationship of sorts once. Edward has never thought of Tanya as anything but a cousin or...good friend."

"So you think I'm being dumb?"

"I do." Alice picked up her pen again and bent over the invitations.

"And you are going to ignore my invite veto powers?"

"I am."

"Is there any point in arguing about this?"

Alice looked up and planted her elbows on the desk, twirling her pen between nimble fingers. "I have loved Jasper since long before I met him. I know every detail of every piece of his past. If I could live though meeting a huge part of that past, then you can live though meeting Tanya."

Bella sighed. "So no point?"

Alice stilled her pen and slid her elbows off the table. "None."

"I have no powers?"

"Powerless."

Bella sighed again and sank further in her chair. "So _how_ beautiful is Tanya?"

Alice groaned and held her head in her hands. "You are ridiculous."

"Alice," Bella said, "I'm happy you're going to be my sister."

Alice lifted her head and gave Bella a magnificent smile. "Me too." She lifted her pen and dropped the smile, an eyebrow raised as she started the tedious addressing process again. "But that doesn't mean I'm giving you your veto powers back."

* * *

Note: And I can't believe I got to chapter 12 before using a Beatles song. BTW, I do plan to write some of Maria's visit in its own one-shot.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the lovely reviews, PMs, alerts, and favorites.

To everyone that offered to beta, either in the reviews or via PM, thank you. I will be sending you PMs shortly.

Now review and come back for more next week!

-Brynna

P.S. Ladylovercsi08 – I'll keep writing as long as I have ideas and I'll keep posting as long as I have readers. Your suggestion for an argument fic has been added to my spreadsheet (although I wrote about one in Redefining Words).

P.P.S. Marcolover16 – Haha, it was actually much clearer what Jacob did when I wrote it from his POV. But he saw Alice's cards (she was bluffing) and Edward heard that in Jacob's thoughts.

P.P.P.S. Geekyshoelaces - Your support for this story has been especially lovely. Thanks for reccing it on the A/J LJ (Same goes to brightly__wound who recommended this on the LJ a while back but who I forgot to thank).


	13. The Luckiest

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Ben Folds.

Synopsis: A look at Jasper's struggles with abstaining from human blood (_Note: This one is a bit different from the rest so far_).

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_"_I don't get many things right the first time. In fact, I am told that a lot. Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here. And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face?__" - The Luckiest by Ben Folds_

**The Luckiest**

Jasper was ashamed of his shortcomings.

He watched his wife dance through life with an ease that caused him both delight and envy in equal measure. She lived among humans with her sight to guide her, gracefully navigating through the sea of temptation with steady feet and music that only she could hear. She flitted through her days with her arms open in welcome for the humans that he so craved.

Where Alice danced, Jasper waded, his feet held fast by his overwhelming thirst, his unquenchable desire to take and have. Abstaining for him was a kind of torture that a sane man would have given up without ever looking back.

Sanity left him in a diner in Philadelphia.

He took her hand and stepped into a life of pain for the both of them. She watched as his decisions wavered constantly, an ever-changing picture show of horror and triumph. Her dance slowed to a crawl for a time while she waded with him though the early months. Her feet stuck when his did, their grief intermingled when he fell, red eyes meeting gold as she pulled him up and started wading again.

Alice held his hand as one triumphant day became two and two triumphant days became three. She held his hand, dancing again as he kept up the methodical wading for four triumphant days, five triumphant days, six...

She taught him to dance.

She made him forget his shortcomings as they moved together to her secret music, revelling in the life they chose to spend together. He fell, time and again, his struggles lasting long after finding their family and committing to each other. Alice endured his wavering decisions and sticking feet with a grace that he could never understand. He agonized over the stumbles, the fear of disappointing her more torturous than abstaining ever could be.

With every fall, she held his face between gentle hands and whispered her love across his lips. Gold and red eyes locked as she took his hand and helped him to find his feet again. Her love and faith engulfed him whether he felt he deserved it or not.

Love found him in a diner in Philadelphia.

He took her hand and stepped into a life of unimaginable joy. She offered him a chance to be more than he was. She gave him the strength to learn all that more could be. Alice would have taken him as he was, eyes deep red, never lightening to match hers. She would have taken him and still found a way to dance through her life.

He wanted her dancing to be easy, her music to soar. He wanted to delight in the days when _their_ gold eyes could meet without a hint of red to be found. And so he took her hand and together they waded.

The pattern was set for decades, pain and joy, dancing and wading and falling, again and again. And then the pattern changed. The triumphant days turned into triumphant weeks and months and years. Most days, he still found himself wading, the lure of his cravings like a siren song to the part of him that longed for the days when he fed freely.

Alice's hand would flutter to his on those torturous days and she would pull him along, dragging him with her to keep up with her dance. And at the end of the day, she would stand on her toes, her fingers feather light against his face as she praised him for his successful day, never taking any credit for herself.

His family was a bright point in the sea of burning red. If Alice's hand and heart kept him steady, then their presence gave him a path.

His father made him aspire to greatness. He taught him that one day, his feet could come unstuck, his pain could be ignored, and he could _soar_. His mother touched the places that Alice's love couldn't. She engulfed him in her motherly forgiveness and unconditional patience. They reminded him, after each stumble, that tomorrow was a new day, a new chance to get it right.

His brothers reminded him that everyone tripped, that sticking feet and bad days were all right as long as he _tried_. His sister, his twin of sorts, spurred him on, her unwillingness to allow others to fall gracefully made him jump back up, teeth gritted and fists balled with a determination to prove that he could get it right, that he _would_ get it right.

In the midst of all of it, Alice was there, her emotions a soothing balm, her unwavering faith a staggering responsibility. Her hand was always extended, always ready to catch him.

She fell, once, in their second decade together. Through his shock and her fear, he held out his hand and pulled her to her feet. He held her face and kissed her trembling lips. Red eyes and gold were locked as he spoke of tomorrow and the tomorrow after that and together they waded, never doubting that her eyes would lighten again. He was hopeful that when the red was siphoned out of her irises that his would be their match, that they would be equals in their self-control.

Hope found him in a diner in Philadelphia.

He took her hand and stepped into a life overwhelming belief and expectancy. She delivered and renewed hope with the same hand, the same gesture that defined so much of their relationship. Through the torture and stumbles, she was there, allowing him to hope for better than he had known. She offered him a better life and then helped to make it happen, her confidence in the merits of that life passing to him until there was no other option.

By the time they celebrated sixty years together, the triumphant days were the expected norm. Gold eyes met gold as she curled against him, both content in simple stillness, dancing and wading on hold as they revelled in their love for each other. Jasper held her hand in their silence, remembering the times it pulled him up and steadied him. He touched each finger, the burn of his thirst replaced with a different burn he had long carried. He ached for her with a sweeter kind of craving, knowing he could sate it easily and in doing so, could stave off the thirst for a longer spell.

She smiled at him, proud and desperately in love. She could look ahead to their future if she wanted, but no vision would ever convince her that they wouldn't be there in sixty more years, twined together in their stillness, two matching sets of gold eyes meeting in mutual love and understanding and hope.

And they both knew that tomorrow, at sixty years and one day, they would wade again and dance and maybe fall. Her hand would would be extended, waiting for the moment when he needed it, ready to drag him toward the triumph of sixty years and two days.

He looked ahead to that distant sometime when he could be like his father, when his wife would never again have to stoop to lift him from his misery, when she could dance freely, their hands linked as he kept up easily.

For that moment, he endured the pain.

For that moment, he lived with the piercing burn.

For that moment, he fought the cravings.

Above all, for that moment, he _hoped_.

* * *

Note: I set out to write the story of the first time Jasper "fell off the wagon," so to speak, and this is what came out. I know it's a little more lyrical than the others but hopefully you all enjoyed it and will indulge me in some of these once in awhile.

I know...just one chapter today but I'm going to _try_ to update again tomorrow or Thursday in addition to my normal weekend post.

Thanks as always for the reviews and PMs and faves and alerts!

Now review!

la saboteuse – I figured that since Alice already saw what Bella's fears were, that she might speak a little more freely. BTW, I always smile when I see your name on my review alerts. You are always one of the first to review when I post on this story and Six Interruptions so thank you.

reader13lovesbooks, pookyums, PsychicPixie - Eclipse battle, angst, and witness hunt are all on the spreadsheet. Thanks!

cherrydelightz – I _am_ the one who wrote Redefining Words! Your review made me laugh. Thanks for the support.

-Brynna


	14. I Shall Not Walk Alone

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Ben Harper.

Synopsis: Alice doesn't care for Jasper's newest scar.

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_"_Battered and torn, still I can see the light. Tattered and worn, but I must kneel to fight. Friend of mine, what can't you spare. I know sometimes, it gets cold in there.__" - I Shall Not Walk Alone by Ben Harper_

**I Shall Not Walk Alone**

She held his arm lightly between cool hands. The skin there was smooth and red, the new crescents crossing over old scars. She ran her fingers over it with testing care, her touch feeling like thousands of tiny pin-pricks over the sensitive skin.

He shuddered and tugged her hand away so he could scratch at the new wounds that would give way to new scars. Alice shook her head at his downcast eyes. "You don't _get_ to get hurt for me."

Her voice was firm and it might have made him smile under other circumstances, but he could feel the licks of anger in her emotions. She was gearing up for a rare fight.

Jasper shrugged, his eyes meeting hers before he dropped his gaze again. "What's one more scar?"

Her brow furrowed delicately and she shook her head again, her fingers abandoning his arm to nudge his chin up. "Not for me." She enunciated each word carefully, and he could feel her anger flare acutely.

Jasper lowered his arm and paced away from her with tense steps. "What did you want me to do, Alice?"

"I wanted you to let me do my part." Her voice raised as she stepped closer. "_I_ wanted you to not get yourself hurt for me."

"That's not a choice." He kept his voice steady, even as he felt her emotions start to sway his own. He raised his eyes to meet her gaze. "You're in danger, I'm there. That's how it is."

She threw her hands up in frustration. "You're the one who taught me to fight. You're the one who showed me how to look for their moves." Alice tapped her foot, crossing her arms. "Remember how I can see the future?"

Jasper fought to keep his eyes from rolling. "That's a great advantage." He raised his hand as she started to interrupt. "As is your speed and agility. But your size is a disadvantage."

She sighed, her teeth gritted. "You got _hurt_ for me."

"And I would do it again." He held up his arm, the skin red and angry looking, his own voice raising as her anger washed over him. "This scar is the only one I have that is worth _anything_."

She shook her head and he felt it then, the fear she had been trying so hard to keep at bay. "I don't like it." She suddenly looked like the weight of the day had slammed into her.

He stepped closer, just one tiny step. "It doesn't matter, Alice."

"It's the only new one you've – while we've – " She swallowed, her eyes still fixed on the raw skin.

Jasper strode forward, easily crossing the distance between them in two strides. "I won't apologize for wanting to keep you safe." He touched her hair and she looked up at him, her eyes sad and her face devoid of its usual cheer.

"You could have been killed." She said the words with all the gravitas that such a statement deserved, her voice thick with emotion. Alice shuddered as Jasper pulled her close.

"No, I couldn't." He kissed the top of her head.

"Why did you tell Bella she didn't need to worry about me if you were just going to do all my fighting for me?"

Jasper gave her question a moment of thought and then shook his head, tightening his grip on her. "I can't just stand by when you are in danger. I won't."

She sighed, her forehead pressed to his chest. He felt her anger start to fade a bit. "I was scared when I saw him lunge for you."

"I know." He closed his eyes as he rested his chin on her head.

The hulking newborn had dashed for Alice, his size making Alice look like a child. Jasper hadn't allowed himself a moment to think. He had darted over, tossing Alice behind him with a firm hand, glancing back briefly to make sure she would stay. He had felt her fear spike a fraction of a moment before the newborn took advantage of his brief distraction. His teeth took hold of Jasper's arm. Jasper finished him off quickly, wrenching him apart with a fluid motion, turning to catch Alice's wide eyes before moving on.

"We're never going to agree on this one, are we?" She sounded sad and tired, her voice muffled against his chest.

"I don't think so."

She tugged out of his embrace. "Can I see it again?" He held up his arm and she traced the already fading lines. "Does it hurt?"

"It really stings." She shook her head with another sigh and he felt a tiny lick of her anger again. "Are you going to get angry every time you see it?"

She gave him a withering glare that only made him smile. "For awhile."

"I'll wear long-sleeved shirts."

She raised an eyebrow, her own small smile starting to form. She lowered her voice to a mock-whisper. "I see you naked."

Jasper lowered his voice to match hers. "I can't remember you ever being angry while I was naked."

She ran light fingers over his arm again, her smile mischievous as he shuddered. "Then I suppose we'll have to wait until I'm not angry anymore."

He laughed openly and gripped her wandering fingers. "Yeah right."

Alice grinned at his laughter. "You're right. Probably won't work."

Jasper kissed her fingers. "I am sorry you were afraid."

Alice's smile turned gentle. "I'm never going to be okay with you getting hurt for me."

"Agree to disagree?"

She made a face as if considering the offer and stuck out her tiny hand for him to shake. "Agree to disagree." He shook her hand, feeling her anger abate as she struggled to let it all go. She smiled slowly as he held onto her hand. "You _were_ impressive out there today."

He raised his eyebrow, the adrenaline of the battle still coursing through him. "Oh yeah? Does this mean you like the scar now?"

She gave a huge, teasing sigh. "I'm going to have to see you naked to know for sure."

Jasper laughed and pulled her close, lowering his lips to meet hers. "Sounds fair."

* * *

Note: Just one chapter again and for those of you who asked for an argument and something about the Eclipse battle, here is a taster. More on both subjects will be forthcoming.

I know I said Wednesday or Thursday for an update but I've been working crazy hours and I had to get Six Interruptions updated since that gets so much less updates.

Thanks, as always, to everyone that reviewed. I know 'The Luckiest' was different, but I am glad you all embraced it because it was a joy to write.

I'll be posting my regular two chapter update on Sunday. Thanks for reading and please review!

(I'll respond to reviews in one of the Sunday chapters. I'm late for work!)

- Brynna


	15. Into the Fire

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Thirteen Senses.

Synopsis: Alice watches James's tape. (_suggested by SignedSealedWritten_)

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_"_Come on, come on, put your hands into the fire. Explain, explain, as I turn and meet the power. This time, this time, turning white and senses dire. Pull up, pull up, from one extreme to another.__" - Into the Fire by Thirteen Senses_

**Into the Fire**

Alice's hand was shaking. She fought to still it, feeling the worried gazes of her family taking in her every move.

"Alice, you don't have to do this right now," Carlisle said, his voice heavy with fatherly concern.

Jasper touched her shoulder. "He's right. There's no rush. You can wait until we get home."

She shook her head and swallowed, her eyes glued on the little camera. "I've waited so long."

Edward was leaning against the wall of the empty waiting room, the shadows under his eyes nearly black with the weight of the day. Emmett was in the chair across from her, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his fingers threaded lightly as he watched her with anxious eyes.

Alice swallowed again and powered on the little camera. She unfolded the screen and pressed the button to rewind the video. It stopped with a click and she felt Jasper shift next to her to wrap his arm around her securely.

She pushed another button and the screen came to life. Alice fumbled with the volume, desperate to hear the narration to go along with the terrible images. James was gloating, his words meaningless now in the aftermath. His pleasure with his own genius seemed misplaced with the fire of his grave still smoldering.

A frightened Bella faced him with resigned eyes as James listed their mistakes, as he detailed his game. She looked as if she was prepared to die, bravery and fear warring to be her dominant emotion.

Alice ignored the sound of Edward's grinding teeth, her focus only for the images and words, not considering, for the moment, that he could see it all in her mind.

The image lurched as James lifted the camera and adjusted the frame. He focused on Bella, her frightened eyes wide as some of her bravado started to fade. He gloated a bit more, explaining how the video was for Edward, so that he could see her end.

His tone changed, regret heavy in his voice as he spoke of the prey that had escaped him. Alice felt Jasper's grip tighten. Carlisle settled a hand on her shoulder.

James spoke of asylums and shock treatments and visions and an old vampire who saved her from her fate. Alice watched, feeling suddenly detached from the scene as Bella's eyes widened in surprise. She whispered one word, "_Alice_."

Alice blinked, somehow surprised to hear her name. She sank into the thinly cushioned chair, her detachment growing as the camera sagged in her hand. She felt like she was watching some sad girl learn all of the details of her sad former life. She wanted to yell to her to lift the camera so she could see the rest.

Cold fingers wrapped around hers and snapped her out of her reverie. She came back to herself with a shuddering jerk of her body. Jasper was supporting her hand's grip on the camera, holding it steady with a clenched jaw.

James continued to speak, needing, for some reason, to explain his reasons for his actions. His arrogance set her teeth on edge. So certain was he in his success, that he would take the time to make speeches before completing his grim task.

He spoke of the comfort Alice's family could take. His words caught in her mind and continued on a loop, again and again and again in the space of a breath. "_I get you, but they get her,_" James said to Bella. Alice wrenched her eyes from the screen and let her gaze trail to Edward. He shook his head, hearing the words repeat in her mind and the question they presented. _ Is this my fault?_ His eyes gentled marginally, his anger at James too acute to overcome completely. He shook his head again and that was enough for the moment.

Alice felt Jasper flinch against her and she turned to face him, her brow furrowing as she watched his jaw clench, his eyes boring into the screen. She focused again. James was talking about....her scent? She tilted her head, wondering how it was that she had never considered how her blood might have smelled.

Jasper's fingers tensed suddenly, and he shut the little screen. He let her hand go and the camera felt suddenly heavy. She let her arm sag again, her eyes blinking as Jasper pried her fingers free of the little camera. He pocketed it and nudged her chin to face him. "You all right?" he muttered.

She nodded once in a twitching little motion, her brow furrowing at everything she had heard. "An asylum?"

"It makes sense, I suppose." His eyes were worried and she could see the struggle there. Every fiber of his being was clearly fighting not to sway her emotions. She shook her head, knowing that he would understand and respect her wishes.

Carlisle sighed and shifted in his chair, his fingers shoving at his hair with restless energy. "It's more than you had yesterday," he said. "I know it was hard to hear but...it's a starting place."

"It's surprising." Alice's fingers trailed across her forehead as if to unravel her impossibly tangled thoughts. "I'm not sure what I was expecting. I wish there was more, a place or...my name."

"Mississippi," Edward said. Alice turned to face him with curious eyes. His eyes flicked to her with a tight little smile. "When he saw you in the clearing, he thought about you, just for a moment. It was so chaotic and I was so worried, I didn't know what it meant."

"Mississippi?"

Edward nodded. "Biloxi."

Alice stood restlessly, her arms crossed over her chest as she took in the overwhelming amount of information. She paced, wishing there was some bit of future knowledge that she could cling to. She looked ahead, searching for nothing and getting nothing in return.

"Was there anything else?" Jasper asked Edward.

"Nothing of consequence. He must have been trying to control his surprise."

Alice paced to the end of the room and stared out the window. She had a past, something real and tangible. She had a place of origin, she was born somewhere and lived somewhere. She'd had blood once and had felt pain. She'd had visions and had been kept in darkness. She'd had an ally and an enemy.

It was a strange, numbing feeling to suddenly have...any of it. To have something to fill the holes she had long accepted was heady and agonizing all at once. She needed time to mull over the revelations, to figure out her feelings and consider her next steps.

Biloxi, Mississippi. She turned and met her husband's worried gaze. She let a small smile stretch across her face. She was a southerner. He was going to love that when the worry wore off.

He smiled at her tentatively and she tilted her head. He stood in a fluid motion and crossed to her in easy strides. His hand took hers and he bowed his head close. "Are you really all right?"

She shrugged. "You tell me."

Jasper shook his head. "Rough day."

"Yeah." She swallowed. "Maybe, you and I could drive the car home and Carlisle and Emmett could fly."

His eyes searched hers and she knew that he could see the grief and shock there among her struggle for calm. "They'll understand. Or we could get away for awhile."

"No, Esme will worry and Bella will need me when she gets back. I'm okay. Really." She ran her fingers across her forehead again and he followed the motion with anxious eyes. "I just need some time to think."

"I'll talk to Carlisle." He stood still, clearly in no hurry to move away from her. "Can you believe this?" he whispered.

She shook her head, her eyes wide as he gave voice to their mutual feelings. They had both pondered her past for so long, both content to never have answers, to teasingly guess and seriously speculate. "I never thought we'd know."

He skimmed his lips across her forehead and she closed her eyes as he moved to speak to Carlisle. In all the teasing and speculating, she had never imagined such a dark truth. An asylum. And what of her family? Had they given her over or did she even have one? Questions she had long ago put to rest were resurfacing in her mind.

She thought of the tape in her husband's pocket. James was an abhorrent creature who had nearly taken her friend.

But he had also unknowingly given her two amazing gifts.

He was the catalyst that had driven her into her new life. He had given her, inadvertently, a life of untold joy and strength. He had pushed her into a painless existence where her power was celebrated.

And then, when she had given up the hope of one, he had given her a past. His grandstanding had given her the clues she had sought for so long.

It was delivered in the worst possible package, at the worst possible moment. It was like a dark fairy tale, the scariest parts of the trip through the looking glass. But it was _her_ dark fairy tale. The clues were hers and as her father said, they _were_ more than she had yesterday.

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Note: Some stuff came up and the second chapter I was planning on posting tonight is simply not ready. I hope y'all understand...December is a tough month. My two chapter updates might not happen as frequently. I just have so little time right now.

Thanks to SignedSealedWritten for the suggestion to write this one.

Thanks to everyone that reviewed on the last one, I really appreciate all of you guys. Thanks also for the faves and alerts.

New chapter up early in the week. Please review!

Becca Black – So glad you like the music. Thanks for your lovely review of 'The Luckiest'

paper creations, belladenuit, Sare Liz – Edward telling them they have to leave in New Moon, Jasper wanting Alice all to himself, and Jasper's reaction to Bella's control all added to the spreadsheet

soulkiss – Glad I could introduce you to some new tunes!

cherrydelightz – Your reviews always make me smile

octobergrace – You and I are clearly kindred spirits in our musical taste. Now when I post a chapter I'm going to think "But what would octobergrace say about this song?" ;)

reader13lovesbooks - The scar color isn't canon. I know they fade to the silvery color but I thought it wasn't a far stretch to write it as red before it faded. Creative license :)

Tear of Mist – Thanks for your concern. I will try not to get stressed. Cutting back when I need to will help with that. I'm having a blast with this series and will definitely keep posting AT LEAST once a week. Thanks for the support!

- Brynna


	16. Love Under Key

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to La Rocca.

Synopsis: An angsty argument. (_suggested by nearly everyone but pookykums first_)

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_"_What kind of man did you dream of? Was he making mistakes like I was?__" - Love Under Key by La Rocca_

**Love Under Key**

Agony.

He was in agony.

It was the only word to describe his torture. His thirst was a deep burn, razor-sharp blades slicing at his throat. Jasper had hunted just two nights before and already his thirst was overwhelming him.

He was stretched out on the bed, a book in his hands as he tried to read, hoping to take his mind off of his misery. It was harder now, adjusting to the diet. During his initial two years with Alice, they had lived on the run, his frequent mistakes easy to hide as they moved from place to place. With the Cullens, things were entirely different. To make a mistake meant uprooting the whole family, implicating all of them in his misdeeds.

His mood was sour, his constant pain making him angry and irritable. The family left him alone and he kept to his room, only venturing out to hunt. He was like a ghost in their midst, drifting silently through the house every few days, interacting with no one but Alice.

Even those interactions had become difficult as of late. She was bursting with the wonders of her new life, unbelievably excited by every new experience. The family was becoming hers. Suddenly she had parents and a sister and brother. And she had Edward.

They were becoming closer every day. Their powers were profound, so much less subtle than his. The common thread bound them easily. If Jasper was thinking rationally, he would be pleased that she had found someone that she could be herself with. He would be be thankful to him for taking care of her when he couldn't.

But Jasper wasn't thinking rationally.

He was jealous. Alice was his mate, his other half. He had no fear of her straying romantically. His jealousy was all for the experiences he couldn't share. Her decades of abstaining had prepared her to go to school with the others, to go to town, to shop and play and _live_. And she got to experience all of it with Edward.

It was foolish and he knew it. In his moments of clarity, he _was_ grateful that she didn't have to wallow with him in his misery. In those brief moments when his thirst was sated and his irritability was kept at bay, he remembered that she had offered, time and again, to give it all up and live the way they had before. Even in his torment, he would never ask that of her.

No. He was doing this to himself.

He settled the book on his chest and threw his arm across his eyes. It was all so confusing. The thirst was dominant but his feelings for Alice were right there, bubbling to the surface, occasionally overwhelming the pain. He loved her. With every cell in his body, he loved her. And he was angry at her. He couldn't help it. She had brought him to this place, to this misery. And everything that he found difficult, she found simple. Abstaining was simple, happiness was simple, dealing with his moods was simple, interacting with a family was simple. It was enough to make him want to scream sometimes.

As if she knew the course of his thoughts, she inched the door open. She was used to walking on eggshells by now. His moods had been volatile for a couple of months and in those clear moments, his agony was even more acute as he considered the pain he had caused her.

"Hey Jazz." Her voice was high and clear, trying for cautious cheer. Her emotions were the same, her usual good spirits being trampled down as she braced for disappointment.

It shamed him.

"Hi." He left his arm across his eyes, not wanting to see her pitying face and nervous eyes.

"Do you need to go hunt? It'll be dark soon."

"Yeah."

"All right."

He heard her swallow and move forward with careful steps. She sat on the edge of the bed and started to unlace her shoes. He moved his arm a little, peeking at her from beneath it. She was beautiful. She had always been so unbelievably beautiful to him. He felt a smile unfurling across his face like some foreign thing. His brow furrowed at the same time. How could he be smiling when he felt so awful, when his thoughts were consumed with only murder and thirst?

She stood and glanced at him, moving to change into clothes appropriate for hunting. His smile melted as he felt her nerves. His anger flared and he hid his eyes again. "You don't always have to act like I'm going to attack you."

Alice stopped in her tracks, annoyance heavy in her emotions. "How should I act, then?"

He sighed heavily, knowing there was no right answer, knowing, without a doubt, that he was in the wrong. "However you want."

He heard her turn and he stubbornly kept his arm over his eyes. "However _I_ want?" She moved to him and tugged his arm down in one quick motion. He blinked, surprised to see her face contorted in anger and sadness. "_No_, Jasper." Her voice was firm, her volume raising as her frustration finally started to spill over her carefully constructed dam. "I have tried happy. I have tried patient. I have tried supportive. I have tried to be here and I have tried to give you space. All of it has made you angry. So you tell me. How should I act?"

Jasper leaned up, his elbows supporting him, his book sliding down his chest and into his lap. "You don't understand." He spit the words out, not even understanding where the vitriol was coming from.

She spread her hands. "No, I don't."

He said nothing for long, uncomfortable moments as he searched her face for some kind of understanding. "This is torture."

"And I have offered you an out. Countless times. None of this means a thing if I lose you in the process." Her eyes were pleading, her hands wringing now in her worry.

He flopped back onto the bed, the knives in his throat sharpening until his ears were ringing with pain. His head was filled with the sound as he rode on his wave of anger, feeling the urge to lash out at the only person who would be there for him unconditionally. He went for the low blow. "At least you'll have Edward." He winced at the words, his pain increasing tenfold as he felt her hurt flare.

"What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?" she hissed.

"You tell me."

He felt her work for calm and it was so much more than he deserved. "If I thought for a second that you meant that..." She let the threat trail and he glanced at her as she shook her head, her eyes filled with such immense pain.

Jasper shook his own head, his eyes closing as he fought to clear the haze. When he opened them, she was pulling her shoes back on, her every movement more tense than the last. "Where are you going?"

She kept her back to him, her shoulders slumping slightly before she stood. "I'm going to ask Carlisle to go with you."

He closed his eyes, his fists tightening briefly on the fabric of the bedspread. "Don't." He said the word haltingly but it was enough to stop her. She didn't turn, her hand still braced on the door knob.

"This isn't supposed to last much longer." Her voice was soft now and he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Carlisle said you should be past the worst of it soon. Maybe I should – maybe I should let you have your space for awhile. I'm clearly not helping you."

He stood and took one tentative step forward, the knives in his throat forgotten as his fear overwhelmed him. He felt oddly dizzy suddenly. Jasper swallowed, his eyes locked on the hand that was still settled on the door knob. "Is that what you want?"

She turned to face him and he saw then that she would be weeping if she could. "No, Jasper. It's not what I want."

He swallowed again, his anger feeling far away now, as if it had belonged to someone else entirely. "You're the only thing that helps me."

Her hand fluttered from the door knob and she crossed her arms across her chest. He took another tentative step forward. She wasn't breathing as her face smoothed, as she got that far off look that said that she was in one of her visions. "You just have to be strong for three more days. The worst of it will be over then."

He nodded. Three days seemed like an eternity to live with the constant, sharp pain but the nodding was involuntary. It was a promise to get there for her, to move past it all and get to that point when things would be easier for both of them. "I cant – " He pushed restless fingers through his hair and took another tiny step forward. "I can't get through three days without you."

She glanced down at her feet, her arms still crossed firmly across her chest as she nudged at some invisible spot in the carpet with her toe. "I'm here."

He nodded again, the fire rising in his throat to engulf him again in his misery. He stomped it down and took her in. She was still so beautiful, entirely too perfect for him. Her pain was rolling off of her and he felt his body jolt as he ached to comfort her. Every piece of him cried out to take her in his arms, to hold her and remind her of better days that had passed and better days that were still to come. But the pain wouldn't let him move. Those two steps and the admission of need were the biggest concessions he could offer for the moment.

Alice was right, it would only take three more days. He would feel the pain ebb then. It would become manageable. He would take her then and whisper his apologies for things she had already forgiven him for. She would smile and find her happiness in him once again. He would make those first shaky steps toward becoming a son and brother. It would never be easy but it would never again be like this. The worst would be over, his toughest battle behind him.

For now though, those happy thoughts were still on the horizon. Three days seemed like a ticking clock, like sand falling much too slowly through a comically large hour glass.

To have the unbearable pain for three more days, to risk hurting her with every word uttered, seemed an astounding price to pay.

Her gaze lifted from her feet to meet his and in a move that nearly brought him to his knees with gratitude, she pushed down her pain and anger and simply held out her hand.

The gesture threatened to make him sob. It was so much more than he deserved. _She_ was so much more than he deserved.

He took it and once again, placed all his trust in her ability to lead him toward a new life. And in that moment, for the first time in his long ordeal, he was certain that he could do it. As her hand squeezed his, he felt the pain lessen marginally. Just marginally. But is was enough to renew his hope.

Jasper breathed then, a long sigh of relief and he put one foot in front of the other as he moved to follow her on his suddenly bearable journey.

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Note: Was that angsty enough for you guys? Thanks to everyone who asked for an argument or angst. I have been working on this chapter for awhile for you guys. True fighting between the two of them is really hard to write because their relationship doesn't really leave room for much of that, but I imagined this would be the roughest time in their shared past.

The last chapter didn't get nearly as many reviews as normal so I hope you guys liked it. Thanks to those who did review. Please keep it up, it's what spurs me on. There have also been a lot of new readers recently so...welcome new readers.

I have to go write some more Jasper now for Six Interruptions. Something nice and fluffy coming on this story probably before the weekend. Review, please!!!

- Brynna


	17. Question

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Rhett Miller.

Synopsis: Jasper proposes.

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_"_Someday somebody's gonna ask you a question that you should say yes to, once in your life. Maybe tonight, I've got a question for you.__" - Question by Rhett Miller_

**Question**

Marriage was an entirely foreign institution for him and an entirely familiar one for her. She had lived with her visions of Esme and Carlisle's happy life together and then Emmett and Rosalie's.

To Alice, marriage was an eventuality, an inevitability. To Jasper, it was clinging to to humanity that he wasn't sure he possessed. Vampires mated. There was no need for ceremony or paperwork. He was committed absolutely, eternally, with or without the witness of a holy man.

Their lives were forever intertwined. For the whole of that single everlasting day that was their life, he would live only for her, eternally grateful to whatever force had given her a vision of him to wake up to. _Him_, of all people. _He_ was the one chosen to share a life with Alice, a woman of such staggering innocence. He – with the physical evidence of his shameful past etched across every inch of his skin, with the eyes that had rarely faded all the way to gold – _he_ was chosen.

And for that, he would marry her, would allow her the traces of her humanity. He would commit in any way she wanted, knowing it was a completely superfluous idea, and yet knowing that it was unbelievably important to her.

Surprising her with a proposal would be nearly impossible. Even if he could hide the ring, he wouldn't be able to hide the planning or his intentions. So he let her see, her only surprise coming as he firmed up his decisions, as he made the sure steps toward making it all official.

He thought, briefly, of asking her not to look for a week, of simply saying he wanted one week of privacy. He nixed the idea before it had a chance to take shape. She would have given him his week, he knew. But she would have suffered for it. So in tune was she to him, that she would have felt bereft of a sense, lost without his future to comfort her. And if she happened to have an unsolicited vision of his plans, she would beat herself up for it.

To her credit, she never let on that she knew, never even so much as gave him a knowing smile. She acted normal, perhaps wanting him to keep the illusion of surprise.

He asked Esme to go with him to the jeweller's. He still wasn't quite comfortable being around humans alone and he somehow trusted Esme's opinion most of all. It might have made more sense to take Edward. Maybe he would have picked up an errant thought of hers that gave some indication of the kind of ring she would like. But he felt better with Esme, those calm, gentle emotions soothing him as he stood in a moderately crowded store, beating hearts surrounding him and pulsing tauntingly.

She gave quiet opinions of his choices, helping him find the perfect stone and setting for Alice. She wouldn't get to wear it much, so he was free to be as extravagant as he wanted. A part of him wished, in his growing understanding of marriage, that he had a meaningful ring to give her. He wished he had his mother's ring, or something from closer to his own time. But it felt right, in a way, to get her something new. They were intent upon living in the future, her past a mystery and his, too painful for yet another lasting reminder.

He chose a delicate gold band with a cluster of three classic diamonds. The band was intricately crafted, weaving through and cradling the diamonds with impossibly thin wisps of gold. Tiny canary diamonds were woven discreetly through the band. The effect was deceptively simple and unless one looked carefully, it appeared to be a classic engagement ring. There was a spot for engraving on the inside of the ring and he gave his order to the jeweller as Esme beamed with pride. "It's perfect, Jasper," she said of the ring and the sentiment, "it's going to mean so much to her."

Two days later, Esme picked up the ring for him and he was ready to execute his plan. In her first indication that she knew what was going on, Alice was waiting for him that night, a small bag packed, her smile gentle as she nearly smothered him with the force of her excitement.

"Well, come on then," he said with a grin.

She laughed and followed him to the car. "Are we really going to the house?"

Jasper nodded. The little house they'd bought so long ago had sat empty in Northern Canada for several years. "It's been too long," he muttered.

She took his hand as he drove, speeding along the darkened highways and roads for hours, their silence easy and comfortable. Jasper felt her anticipation grow as he turned onto the nearly invisible dirt road. He wound through the woods, the tires struggling with the snow and ice.

The cabin was just as they had left it. The exposed logs were snow-covered. The porch and wide swing had a shimmering layer of ice. "The door is probably frozen shut."

She grinned and danced from the car. "It's a good thing we have super strength."

Alice flitted up the steps, her hand trailing on the porch swing as she passed. She gave the door knob a wrenching twist and a tug. They had never bothered to lock the door. They were pretty sure that no one but them could ever find the place anyway.

Jasper followed her inside the frigid house. The furniture was still covered with sheets. Every exposed surface was gray with thick dust. "We have to start coming here a bit more," Jasper said with a critical eye.

She grinned again, pulling the cover off the couch and wadding it up against her chest. He moved to start a fire in the great arching hearth, praying that no critters had made a home in the stone chimney. She sped around the room behind him, giving the place a cursory and haphazard tidying, lighting candles as she went.

"I love it here," she whispered as she uncovered the furniture in the only bedroom. "Buying this place was one of your best ideas."

He laughed as he stepped back from the fire, settling the matches on the mantle. "You didn't think so at first."

"I was wrong. Can you bring the bag in here?"

"Sure." He crossed the room in a few short steps, scooping up her bag as he walked. He felt more carefree in their little cabin, isolated as they were from the rest of the world. He settled the bag on the matress and tugged on the zipper.

"There are fresh sheets in there."

He blinked. He would have never thought of bringing fresh linens from home. "That power of yours is mighty useful," he let his accent touch the words, knowing it would make her smile.

"Sometimes."

He helped her make the bed, laughing as she ended up in his arms somehow, hugging him fiercely. "Thank you for bringing me here."

He kissed the top of her head. "We'll come more often." He pushed her away gently. Her excitement was nearly tangible. She was going to burst out of her skin if he didn't get on with it. "You are an anxious little thing, aren't you?" He smiled at her laughter. "Come on."

He held her hand as they moved into the living room. She sat on the couch and he sat next to her, feeling her anticipation flare. "I'm going to do this right." He slid off the couch, one knee raised, the other braced against the smooth planks of the floor.

Jasper took her hand and she smiled gently, a strange whisper of nerves entering her emotional climate. "Alice I – This would be the part I haven't exactly planned for." She laughed lightly and remained silent. Words had never mattered much to them, but he had vowed to do this right. She would get a proper proposal. "I love you," he said simply, "and I don't know what kind of life I would have had without you but it's certainly not one I want to imagine. You make me want to try harder and be better. I know that things haven't always been easy and they might not always _be_ easy, but – " He pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles of the hand he held. "But I am committed to you. I'll admit that I don't quite understand marriage but I love the thought of being your husband." He tugged the little box free of his jacket pocket and flipped the top. He held it up for her to see. "Alice, will you marry me?"

Her smile was huge, her elation mingled with love and trust and gratitude. She lunged off the couch, crashing into him, their lips meeting as he caught her easily. Her hands threaded together at the back of his neck. "Yes," she whispered against his lips.

He grinned, a little confused as he felt something akin to relief. Such a strange, human reaction. He'd had no fear of her answer and yet, he felt a little breath whoosh out of him as she said the word. "Do you want to see the ring?"

She pulled away and he shifted to settle her comfortably in his lap. "I've been dying to see it."

He pulled it free from the little box and slid it on her finger. "I think we got the size right."

"It's perfect," she breathed. She turned her hand over, letting the light from the dancing fire play off the stones. She held it closer to her face, the other hand touching the little canary diamonds carefully. "They match your eyes." Her voice was delighted and his pride swelled.

She slid the ring down her finger and held it gently, her eyes seeking the inscription she had undoubtedly already seen. _J&A 1948 – Forever_. She muttered the words as she read them. The letters were nearly microscopic to fit on the Alice-sized ring. "It's perfect, Jazz."

Jasper smiled and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Do you think we'll make it?" His voice was gently teasing.

She sighed. "Marriage does ruin some couples."

"I think I'm just going to give up. Really let myself go."

Alice laughed at the thought before her expression settled into a gentle smile. "I know it doesn't make much of a difference but...it's a nice tradition." She slid the ring back on her finger, her eyes drawn to the sparkling diamonds. "And I'll officially have a last name."

He touched her cheek and she met his gaze. "I would be committed to you, with or without this, but I'm dying to be able to call you Alice Whitlock."

Her smile grew magnificently at his words. "I've never heard it out loud."

"Well," he said as he shifted, his accent reaching comical proportions, "get used to it, darlin'. Forever is an awful long time."

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Note: Thanks to everyone that reviewed and faved. Before anyone asks, I won't write their wedding in this story. Check out the 'Beautiful' portion of Redefining Words for my take. It's short but I'm not sure I have much else to say about it.

No update this weekend. I have to drive all over Texas for various holiday gatherings. More next week! If anyone needs some Alice and Jasper to tide them over, both the Alice and Jasper chapters are now up on Six Interruptions.

Please review!!

Rose Gilmore – Haha, I wasn't going to call ya out, but I was confused by the review on Ch. 15. I was like, "Did I write about a princess?" Anyway, thanks for all of your lovely reviews on this and Six Interruptions.

Freak Del Gatto – You are the fastest reader/reviewer ever. You did all 16 chapters with reviews in record time. Thanks and welcome to the story.

Love and Rock Music – Thanks for the thoughtful (and thought-provoking) reviews. I am glad that some of them feel like canon to you.

Downrighteerie – I love the insight that you put into your reviews.

SignedSealedWritten – Man! I am happy that you're doing all right.

Ladylovercsi08, Jaina 12, k is happy, Rose Gilmore – Jealousy argument, leaving after the Maria visit, New Moon phone calls (I'll write Jasper's side but check out A Lie by ILeftMyHeartInLondon for a good Alice POV), and Alice and Jasper talking about being from the South, are all on the spreadsheet. Thanks!

Yvaughn – Thank you for your reviews. I do not write for any publication but I am being heavily pressured to write an original novel. We'll see!

- Brynna


	18. Crawl

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Thisway.

Synopsis: A look at Alice's life pre-Cullens. (_Note: Another one that's a bit different_)

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_"_Cause if I wait too long, how am I gonna reach my destination? I can't pretend that I'm okay, when I'm stuck here, it's all so clear to me..__" - Crawl by Thisway_

**Crawl**

Her life was lived in phases.

It was easy to see the divisions, those breaks when her life halted and turned to change course. Each phase was dominated by an underlying emotion. Each emotion was given a simple word that stood in the place of her most complicated feelings.

Whole years, whole decades could be described in a single word and when each of those words, each of those emotions, were lined up, they painted a stark picture of her life. The cyclical nature of her emotions took her full-circle with no memories to show her how far she'd come.

.

_1901 – 1905: Happiness_

Happiness inundated the earliest part of her life. In those scant years before she developed complex speech skills, no one knew of her special ability, of the little glitch that would make her feared and eventually desired. She was extraordinary in the body of a normal, cheerful little girl.

Her parents delighted in her beauty, in her grace. Their tiny daughter who didn't grow quite as fast or cry quite as much as other children was wanted and entirely _theirs_.

Her mother wished great things for her. She could have been a ballerina with her grace. She could have made people happy with her beautiful disposition. She could have been something amazing with her intelligence. She found hope in the idea, in the simple imaginings of all that she could be.

She was her father's pride and joy. His little Mary Alice was perfection in his eyes. She smiled at _him_ first, her tiny face lighting up with her joy, little dimpled hands waving for him wildly. She walked on her own toward _him_ first, abandoning the safety of her grip on the chair to make delighted, brave steps toward him. She spoke to _him_ first, her fingers on his cheek as she said, "Daddy," with a clear voice.

With that word, her happy time was short. She was as intelligent as her mother believed and speech came to her with remarkable speed. They didn't understand her at first, her ramblings and little songs explained away as the product of a delightfully unique imagination.

Eventually, there was no explaining it away. Eventually, they were forced to listen.

.

_1905 – 1913: Pain_

They heard her when she stiffened, when her eyes went blank and she moaned in pain. They heard her when she screamed, when she spoke of horrible things and pleaded with them to help. They heard as the doctors shook their heads and spoke of incurable diseases, diseases that had claimed the mind of their tiny, perfect little girl.

It was agony for her parents, to watch her drift in and out of lucidity. She was a shadow of their cheerful, dancing child. She drifted through their home, unable and unwilling to eat or sleep in her torment.

Her sister became their focus. The new little child that wasn't quite Mary Alice allowed them both to let their eldest child die in their hearts. They turned their back on her when she needed them most, letting their little girl flounder as she struggled to gain control of the mind that was betraying her.

Her father looked in on her from time to time with a grim sense of detachment. His Mary Alice was dead. That extraordinary child that had wrapped herself around his heart had died with that first wild convulsion. His heart ached at the loss. It ached to see this thin, pale ghost of her in their midst.

Mary Alice didn't understand the abandonment. She called out for them in her pain and they simply stopped listening.

.

_1913 – 1920: Despair_

Her abandonment was absolute. They sent her away and buried their memories of her in an empty grave. She pleaded with them on her last day at her home, begged them to help her, to give her more time, to just love her again.

Her father's heart broke irreparably in that moment, his eyes softening as he wrapped her sweater around her thin shoulders and pressed a whisper of a kiss across her forehead. "I wish – " he said haltingly, his brow furrowing as his eyes hardened again. He tugged her from her bed with none of the gentleness for which she was so desperate.

She followed the men in white out the door, pulling her skinny arms through the sleeves of her sweater, her head twisting around to get a glimpse of her parents one last time. And with that, she was alone with her visions, a ward of a state that didn't want her, dead to parents that could no longer tolerate her.

The darkness was her ally during those long, torturous years. As long as she was in the dark, she was safe from treatments, safe from the pain of the shocks and the sickening oblivion of the drugs. She curled into herself on her ratty mattress, her fingers making idle paths on the weeping bricks of her little cell.

There was freedom in her despair, in her utter despondency. As her memories slipped away, she expected less and less, fearing nothing but the blinding light of the hallway as her door opened. She didn't fight against her treatments. She didn't pray for a better life or yearn for her parents to have a change of heart. She simply existed, her visions comforting her as her fingers made their meandering little paths over the rough stone.

She wasn't always sure who was real and who was only in her mind. When he came to her with food and a kind hand, she was sure she was dreaming. He smiled at her and fretted over her uneven hair. He called her Alice as if she was an entirely new girl, different from the Mary Alice she had been.

At least, she was pretty sure that's who she had been.

She couldn't see his future. She looked for visions of him but there were none to be found. In that empty, distressing space, she became certain he was a dream. But he was a welcome dream. She felt like she only lived when she dreamed of him and she waited with breathless fear for the moment when he would leave her too.

Alice was careful to speak only when he spoke first, afraid of saying something that would upset him. Some dim, fading memory told her that people didn't like her when she spoke out of turn. They didn't like to hear about her visions and dreams. And she was so desperate for him to like her, for anyone to like her.

The man from her dream became real the day he wrapped a dressing gown around her and carried her from the cell. She waited for the pain that she associated with light but he only held her closer, stalking through the hospital and into fresh air.

His steps were urgent and he whispered kind words into her hair. "Hold me close, little Alice. I have to run fast."

She tried to do as he asked, her arms wrapping around him as she burrowed her face into his chest. Darkness engulfed her again but she raised her head in surprise as she felt like she was flying. She laughed, delighted as he sprinted at an impossible speed.

When he stopped, he was anxious again and he touched her hair kindly. "I have to hurt you now, little Alice." She wanted to beg him not to, wanted to ask what she had done wrong but he touched her cheek lightly. "You'll feel better when you wake up. Everything will be okay when you wake up." She felt him lift her arm and slide a needle under her skin. "Sleep, little Alice."

She closed her eyes obediently, a tiny sigh escaping her lips as she felt sleep claim her.

.

_1920 – 1948: Longing_

She woke alone with nothing to comfort her, no memories, no possessions, no company. The word _Alice_ fluttered into her mind as if from another life and she decided it was as good a name as any.

She lay, blinking in the grass, the word running through her mind again and again. Her mind used different inflections, different accents, searching desperately for something else, some triggered memory that would reassure her that the name was hers to claim.

Instead, her busy mind shifted, her body tensing as a man's face filled her mind. He was beautiful, his red eyes sad and his mouth turned down in a pained frown. His skin was ravaged and she somehow ached to touch the scars, to run her fingers over the network of ridges, to see the eyes happy and the lips curled in a smile.

The vision was her companion during those early days as she discovered the terms of her new life. She sated her thirst in the way that was the most natural to her, the burn too acute for her to see that she was preying on the innocent.

Her next vision was a revelation. She saw a family with golden eyes, a wise man with a compassionate spirit that had found another way, beautiful children that accepted his guidance and thrived with him to show them the path. She watched as they drank from animals, easing their thirst as they fought to be more than monsters.

Her path was clear then. She avoided cities, venturing into houses only when she needed to steal clothes or cash. She made the woods her home as she travelled north, adding visions of her scarred man and golden-eyed family to her ever-growing collection. Alice was desperate to find the man, to understand why she was granted a vision of him when she'd been afforded nothing else.

Twenty-eight years was an eternity to a woman desperate for companionship. She worked on her self-control as she searched, wanting to be a rock for her Jasper when she finally met him. The visions of him were her greatest source of warmth, her greatest reason to keep moving. She wasn't sure which vision, exactly, made her fall in love with him. Maybe it was the first one, that first glimpse of his beautiful, sad face. Maybe it was the one where she had first appeared next to him, smiling gently as he met her gaze shyly. Maybe it was none of them. Maybe she had always been in love with him and just couldn't remember.

She didn't care. She wanted only to find him, to take his hand and explain that she knew of his suffering, of the torment he felt every time he drank.

By the time she entered the diner in Philadelphia, her eyes had been golden for nearly two decades. She was the rock she knew he would need and she was ready, so utterly, completely ready to end her loneliness for good, to step out of her solitary existence and find comfort in something more than intangible visions and unrequited love.

Alice settled onto a stool, her sight trained on the door as she began to wait.

The relief came as soon as the rain started, as soon as the diner's bells tinkled, as soon as he stepped from her visions and into her waking life.

.

_1948 – 1950: Relief_

He took her hand in the diner and never again let it go. She understood with refreshing clarity why she was allowed the vision of him. They were supposed to be together. It was as simple as that.

And so they were. They were a couple before either of them realized it, their lives entangled as they both found the very thing they had each been so desperate for.

For the first time in her life, she had found unconditional affection, unfaltering love. She returned the favor, wrapping him in her addictive emotions, her love offered before he even understood what she was to him, what she would be to him.

He took it greedily, took _her_ greedily, equally wanting of someone to share his life with. Their connection was easy and their years alone were joyous. They discovered each other with the fervor of new lovers, even though they knew, without a doubt, that they had years upon years together.

She searched for the last piece of her puzzle, for the family with the golden eyes. All the while, she became more and more assured in her life with him. Whether she found the Cullens or not, she had found her most important missing piece, the one person who was put on Earth for her alone.

It was such an unbelievable, breathtaking relief to have found him, to have something more than a vision to be her companion. And when he spoke of his love for her, when he let her feel it, she knew that she had found the steady force that her life had always been missing.

When her last vision of the Cullens came, he held her as he always did, comforting her as her power took away her control, just for a moment. "I know where they are," she breathed.

He squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head. "Let's go find them."

She heard her life squeal to a stop as the course twisted again.

She would find contentment next. Happiness would once again be the most steadfast of her emotions. And through whatever emotions were sure to to mingle with the contentment and happiness, Jasper would be there. They would lean against each other as life moved and turned and surprised them. That support was a greater gift than he could ever know.

With that support he had assured her of one glorious fact – never again would she have to enter a new phase of her life alone.

* * *

Note: I wanted to do an Alice-heavy chapter after so much Jasper-POV. Hope you all enjoyed it.

Thanks for all the reviews and such on the last chapter. Y'all really came out in force in the last weekend and nothing makes me want to sit down to write more than feedback. Also, welcome new readers. There were a ton of you this time. To anyone who PMed me recently, I am going to try to reply to all of them tomorrow. I haven't forgotten about you!

There is a nice, shiny piece of fluff coming at ya on Christmas Eve, so come back then for more. For those of you that are following Six Interruptions, the last chapter will probably be up on Thursday.

Now please review!!!

Ali-Chan1 – Thanks for all the recs! I appreciate the support.

Freak Del Gatto – I was amazed at your speed when I saw how fast the review alerts came in. I so appreciate you taking the time to come back and review each chapter.

Rose Gilmore – The anon review did clear it all up. I appreciate your support on both of my stories and I added the holiday idea to the spreadsheet (you'll be seeing it on Christmas Eve).

Justawriter – First day at Forks has been added to the spreadsheet. Thanks!

Octobergrace – Good catch! The cabin is the one they fought about in Redefining Words.

- Brynna


	19. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Ralph Blane (lyricist) and Hugh Martin (composer).

Synopsis: Alice and Jasper celebrate Christmas. (_suggested by Rose Gilmore_)

_

* * *

_"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.__" - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Ralph Blane and Hugh Martin_

**Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas**

He pressed the little button as soon as he settled into her car. He flipped through the presets, looking for a station that was playing the tunes he was seeking. Country? No. Alternative? No. Classical? No. He pushed the button faster and with a little more force. What was wrong with people?

"I made a CD," Alice said as she settled into the driver's seat. "Some stations will start their twenty-four hour Christmas music tonight."

Jasper grinned as she slid the CD into the player and sounds of Nat King Cole filled the car. He settled deep into the seat, suddenly relaxed as their little tradition began. "So where to this year?"

She smiled at him as she pulled onto the highway. "I found a good one."

Their tradition had started simply enough. During their first few years together, she had been voracious for details of his past, eager to discover the only parts of him that she had never been able to access. By the time they met, he remembered almost nothing of his human life, most of those memories too dim to take hold of.

Only one set of memories had any sort of crispness left. He remembered Christmas. He told her of his little sisters and how excited they had been, how they had begged for him to help them count down the time. He told her of the long trip he and his father had made every year to North Texas to find a Christmas tree and special presents. He told her how he had played guitar at church on Christmas Eve as the congregation sang carols.

She told him later that his eyes had softened as he spoke. His lips had curled into a smile. They were warm, happy memories, little things that proved that he hadn't always been a monster.

She had surprised him in the winter of their second year together, tugging his hand and leading him to a tiny grove of trees. Every branch was twinkling with little fairy lights. She held his hand as they stepped through their own little Christmas wonderland.

If it was possible, he fell even more in love with her that day. No one, in his entire life, had ever done anything so kind for him.

It became the most private of their traditions. Most vampires didn't celebrate human holidays. Even the Cullens didn't celebrate Christmas with any sort of regularity. They might think to put up a tree one year and then let the next year pass with no mention of the holiday. So, Alice and Jasper made it their private little holiday.

She tried to make things different each year. One year they decorated a tree in their cabin in Canada, the next year they went sledding, the year after that, they built elaborate snowmen. As he grew more comfortable with his self-control, they started entering towns. They saw parades and light displays and carolers.

"There's a million different Christmases," Alice had said once. And every year, she set out to give him a different one.

Alice drove for nearly a full day, humming Christmas tunes and laughing with him as they reminisced about Christmases passed. When she pulled onto the little bluff, overlooking the tiny town, he realized he didn't have a clue where they were.

He opened the door and stalked to the edge, his thumbs in his belt loops, his unneeded jacket open and blowing in the driving wind. He looked out at the little town as dusk settled, taking in the picture book quaintness of the perfect lines of homes and storefronts.

"Now we have to wait for a little less than an hour," Alice said from behind him.

Jasper turned to look at her. She was settled on the hood of her car, her knees drawn up to her chest as she watched him consider the town. Her windows were open and the Christmas music was still drifting out. He settled in next to her, his eyes still trained on the town. "Gifts while we wait?"

"You first," she said with a grin, leaning forward expectantly.

He narrowed his eyes. "You already know, don't you?"

"I tried not to look too closely but I caught a glimpse."

Jasper sighed and reached into the pocket of his coat. "The first gift is to make up for last year's Christmas." They had been in South America the previous year and in their haste and worry, had completely missed their holiday.

He handed her an envelope and she opened it with excited fingers. Her face lit up as she pulled the contents free. "Tickets to Paris?" She glanced up at him with expectant eyes.

"And you can take me to as many shops as you want and I won't complain."

She laughed lightly and leaned forward to kiss him softly. "Thank you."

He reached into the same pocket again. He pulled out a little box and held it out for her to take. "This year's gift."

She slid the ribbon free and pulled off the small lid. She upended the box and let the jewelry box slide into her palm. She flipped the lid of the little box and smiled, gasping convincingly.

The locket nestled on the little bed of satin looked to be from close to the time when she was human. The chain was a thick, woven gold, fastened lariat style, a tiny rod sliding through a little eye. The locket itself was fashioned to look like a heart-shaped padlock. "Open it," he said gently, knowing that this might be where he would surprise her.

She unclasped the little latch and the locket fell open with a tiny click. Her eyes widened at the sight. Alice glanced to him and then back to her treasure. "How did you – I mean, where did you find this? How did you keep this from me?"

He grinned, delighted in being able to surprise her once in awhile. "I heard about a man with a large collection of tintype images from the war and the years prior and that got me wondering. I had J. Jenks look into it. You've always been so interested in my past, I thought I'd try and give you something from it."

She ran shaking fingers over the little picture. He'd had a copy of the tintype made and cropped to fit into the locket. On the other side, he'd slid in a copy of the only picture they were able to find of her as a human. Both of their faces were entirely serious in those human shots, her eyes solemn and haunted, his grim as he tried desperately to appear as grown-up as possible.

"This is amazing." Her voice was low in her extreme surprise. "It's like seeing you for the first time. How old are you here?"

"Maybe fourteen. I believe I only had two pictures made, one when I was a boy and one when I enlisted."

Her fingers touched the little image again. "Amazing," she breathed.

"Do I get mine now?"

She gave him the wrapped box from her own pocket, her fingers still tracing the locket. "I'm afraid it's not as good, now."

He shrugged and tore at the paper, opening the little box carefully. There was a key inside. He gave her a curious glance and then tilted it into his hand. A piece of paper slid out with it. It was a tiny picture of the vintage Mustang he had once admired in passing. He hadn't had a car of his own in years and he liked the timelessness of classic cars over the speed and amenities of the newer ones. He felt his excitement rise as he stared at the little picture. "You got me a car?"

She nodded, her own excitement growing as she saw the pleasure on his face. "I had it restored for you. It'll be in the garage when we get home."

"It's perfect." He stared at the picture, wondering where they would go together in the steel blue car. "I can't _wait_ to see it."

"You'll get to see it soon." She nodded toward the little town and scooted closer, her fingers still clutched around her locket. "It's starting."

He blinked as he pocketed the picture and the key. He looked over the bluff and into the town, looping his arm around her waist as they watched humans pour from their houses and onto the town's main street.

They congregated in front of a stately old courthouse. Community was evident immediately as neighbors shook hands with neighbors, 'stranger' a foreign word in this tiny town. Music rose up and the people sang along. They were bundled against the cold and families huddled together as they sang. After a half dozen carols and a short pause, the courthouse was lit up in a spectacular show. Every eave and seam of the proud building was lined with golden fairy lights. Soon after, in turn, building after building lit up until the whole town was twinkling gold.

Unable to stop himself, Jasper laughed lightly, delighted at the sight. "This is a good one," he breathed.

"Look at that house." Alice pointed toward one house that was slow to light up. When it did, it's lights were brilliant blue instead of the town-approved gold.

Japser laughed again. "The town rebel."

"You just know that the head of the lighting committee, or whatever, really doesn't like that guy."

"It's kind of like when we live in a town, isn't it? We try but just aren't quite right."

She smiled. "We're the house with the blue lights?"

He nodded, grinning at the silly analogy.

"That's fine. That guy is probably more fun anyway."

He laughed and pulled her closer, revelling in her warmth, his breath whisper soft over her hair. Music rose up over the town again and he smiled warmly. "This is a good one," he said again. "Thank you."

The tunes carried over and she smiled at him, burrowing closer as if chilled. When she spoke, she whispered quietly, her words mingling with the sounds of the town's people singing joyously. "Merry Christmas, Jasper."

* * *

Note: A big, huge Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there in fanfic land. You readers have been gracious and lovely and have renewed my interest in writing. I've loved every second of the last two months with this story. So thank you and I hope you get some cool gifts for the holidays!

I was SO close to not using a Christmas song for the title but it seemed wrong somehow. If you have not heard the hauntingly beautiful Tori Amos version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, you are missing out. Thanks to Rose Gilmore for the holiday theme suggestion. I always feel a ton of pressure after a chapter that I am particularly proud of like I was with Crawl so I was glad to get to do a fluffy little Christmas piece.

Thanks for all the reviews and faves and alerts. Welcome, all you new readers. The hit count has been going up and up every chapter. I'm glad you're all still enjoying it because I'm still having fun writing it.

I might update this weekend after I wrap up Six Interruptions but no promises since I have to work all weekend.

Please review!!

pookykums – I cannot imagine that I'll ever write anything all human. I admire people that are able to do it, but I find that my idea of the characters is simply too entrenched in their vampirism. I'll think about it a bit more though. Thanks!

HulaHula – I'm really not as fast as I appear. I have a lot of chapters completed or mostly completed for the slow spells and they just have to be cleaned up and tweaked for posting. I am starting to run though them though so I might have to start thinking about replenishing the stock. Thanks for all the lovely reviews!

Rose Gilmore – There are sixty chapter ideas on that spreadsheet plus the names of the suggesters, the chapter titles, and the opening lyrics. I'd probably have written about Alice in the asylum nineteen times and used three Ray LaMontagne songs over and over again without it. I'm not organized most of the time but with a fic like this, it's a necessity. Thanks for the reviews, as always.

SignedSealedWritten – Alice's first mistake is on the spreadsheet. Thanks!

- Brynna


	20. Sail Away

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to David Gray.

Synopsis: Alice comforts Charlie in his final hours.

* * *

"_Crazy skies all wild above me now, winter howling at my face. And everything I held so dear disappeared without a trace.__" - Sail Away by David Gray_

**Sail Away**

She had come to him as quickly as she could, the vision hitting her as she and Jasper vacationed in Napa. She had arrived in the night, her tiny body settling into an arm chair, her head pressed into small hands.

His eyes blinked open slowly, squinting at the vision before him. His breathing was shallow and he coughed weakly. "Alice?" His voice was a husky whisper and he fought to swallow.

Alice lifted her head and she leaned forward, her hand sliding into his. She lifted the cup of water from the table and guided the straw between his parched lips. He drank thirstily, the strain of such a simple task tiring him. He settled into his pillows again, his eyes blinking as he clutched at her hand.

He looked over at her, clearly trying to understand what he was seeing. The room was filled with the steady beeping of his monitors and his own raspy, shallow breathing. "Are you a dream, Alice?"

She leaned closer, her impossibly youthful face a startling contrast to his weathered lines and sagging skin. "Would it help if I said 'yes,' Charlie?"

He shook his head, his eyes closing against the effort. "How did you know to come?"

Alice smiled and touched her temple, knowing he wouldn't quite understand, but knowing he would accept the answer all the same. "I've been looking after you."

His wrinkled face drew up into a smile. "I suppose this must be the end, then."

"Soon, Charlie." _Soon, so soon_, she thought. She didn't understand this part. She had so little experience with death, with truly loving someone that was simply going to die. There was no saving him, no keeping him safe and comfortable. There was nothing left but the inevitable fate that every mortal creature must face.

"Where is your boy?" he asked, his voice not so unkind toward Jasper as it might have been once.

"I'm here, Charlie," Jasper called from the doorway. He was leaning there, thumbs in the pockets of his slacks, his hair dishevelled where he had pushed his fingers through it again and again.

Alice watched as Charlie relaxed suddenly, his muscles losing their tension slowly, his furrowed brow smoothing. His lips curled again in a smile. He raised his free arm and pointed at Jasper. "It's you that does that, isn't it?"

Jasper smiled, his gentle eyes settling on Alice. "Yes. It's me that does that."

Charlie's smile grew, his eyes closing as Jasper sent another wave of joyful emotions his way. "Is Bella coming?"

"I called her," Jasper said. "She's bringing Nessie."

Charlie sighed, his eyes still closed. "They'll make it in time," Alice said confidently. "We were just already on this side of the country."

He breathed in the silence for a moment. Jasper stepped forward curiously. "Are you all right, Charlie?"

"Cold hand," he said with an apologetic smile.

"Oh, sorry." Alice slid her hand from Charlie's and held it out to Jasper. He pulled gloves from his pocket and handed them over. She pulled her rings off and slid the gloves on.

"Are you engaged?" He watched as she slid her rings into her pocket.

"Married, Charlie" Alice took his hand again. "For a long time."

He sighed, the sound raspy and pained. "For how long?" Alice glanced at Jasper and he shrugged as if to say, _what difference does it make now?_

"Over a century."

Charlie sucked in a breath, his eyes blinking closed. "Oh," he said, simply. "I got your letters." He coughed a little and motioned for the water. "The handwriting never changed."

"No," she said softly. "Nothing ever changes."

Jasper settled on the arm of her chair, his fingers squeezing her shoulder softly. Charlie watched as Alice struggled to find a small smile. She tilted her head to meet her husband's pleading gaze. She shook her head at his silent request. She didn't want him to change her emotions, not yet anyway.

"You _have_ been together for a century," Charlie said.

Alice's smile grew as she met Charlie's gaze again. "You shouldn't worry about me, Charlie. There is no one better for me than Jasper."

Charlie closed his eyes. "Lucky boy," he grumbled.

"Yes, I am," Jasper said clearly. "I have no doubt that I don't deserve her." His fingers caressed her shoulder lightly. "But I try."

Alice rested her free elbow on the bed, leaning her face into her hand. "You are both so ridiculous." She didn't elaborate, her head shaking in her amused irritation. It was ridiculous to think that Jasper still felt he had to work to be good enough. It was ridiculous to think that Charlie had ever worried about her at all.

"Alice," Charlie whispered, "when is Bella coming?"

She closed her eyes, looking for his answer. "In a few hours." Alice ran her hand over his snowy white hair. "Are you in pain?"

"No," he breathed, "just still afraid that I might be dreaming."

"It's not a dream," she whispered. "I promise."

She looked down at his hand. The skin was papery and nearly translucent. The fingers were gnarled from arthritis. A large bruise spread across his hand where the IV was inserted. She let her thumb make a gentle path over the fragile skin, her eyes once again startled by the contrast. Her fingers were pale and perfect, unlined except for a scar that he couldn't see.

Alice wondered if her own father had lived to such an advanced age. She wondered if someone had been there to hold his hand. She wondered why it mattered. He had given her up, sent her away. Why should she care if someone was there for him or not?

But she did care. She looked at Charlie, watched as he held onto life with the tips of his fingers, clawing for purchase so that he could hold out until he saw his beloved daughter again. He deserved that comfort. In his final hours, he deserved to have someone he loved present to hold his hand and let him slip away in dignity.

It was hard for her to remember that most life was so finite. Her memories were solely those of an immortal. She had never had to think of her own life as anything but eternal. But the human life was really so fragile, just a tenuous little tether to Earth, weakening with every passing moment. His future was blank. The tether would snap soon and he would be beyond her sight.

"Alice," he whispered again, "can you do something for me?"

"Anything," she said honestly. She would truly give him anything to ease the passing of his final hours.

"Can you tell me your story? Your real story."

Alice glanced at her husband. He ran his hand over his face, the emotions in the room already taking their toll on him. He'd probably have to leave when Bella and Nessie arrived. She gave him a shaky smile and settled in, wrapping her free hand over the top of Charlie's. "I was born in 1901..."

* * *

Note: This isn't anything much, just something I jotted down quickly today when I was supposed to be working. The scar on Alice's hand is a reference to the novel-length story that I'm slowly working on. Which means this one-shot takes place after a story that I haven't written yet. I do like to make things complicated for myself. On that note, Six Interruptions is done, so if you follow that story, go check it out.

Thanks to everyone that reviewed, faved, and PMed. I really appreciate all of it. I can't believe this story has 400 reviews already. You guys are amazing.

One quick note about my own reviewing habits. When I am writing in a fandom, I tend to completely stop reading it so that I am not swayed by someone else's vision. If you have a story of your own that you want me to check out or someone else's that you simply want to rec, let me know in either your review or a PM. I am slowly going to try to work my way through some of my regular reviewer's stories since I have a bit of free time over New Years. I promise I'll review :)

caelannrae12, Twilight fangirl13, frostedchinadoll – The fight in Midnight Sun, Jasper before the wedding (although, I think, based on your review, that our opinion on what their wedding was like differs pretty greatly), and another chapter from Charlie's POV, are all on the spreadsheet.

Momo the Miscreant – Glad I could make your day a little better (she says at the end of a chapter about death). BTW, Bones rocks.

Octobergrace – I'm happy I could help your boyfriend out ;). I only decided that they should have a small Christmas because of Edward's surprise in Breaking Dawn when Bella said she wanted to Christmas shop. Plus, it takes me a lot less time to hammer out a chapter where Alice and Jasper are the only characters. Their voices are much more accessible to me. On an unrelated note, have you heard any good music lately?

Rose Gilmore – We'll see if I get to all of them. I'm working in tens right now. When I get to thirty chapters, I'll decide if I'm going to go to forty and when I get to forty, I'll see about fifty. Thanks for the reviews :)

HulaHula – On my way to give it a look!

- Brynna


	21. Southern Accents

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Synopsis: A very short vignette about Alice's accent...or lack thereof. (_suggested by Rose Gilmore...kind of_)

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_"_There's a southern accent, where I come from. The young'uns call it country, the yankees call it dumb. I got my own way of talkin,' but everything is done with a southern accent, where I come from.__" - Southern Accents by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers_

**Southern Accents**

"So I've been thinking about the Mississippi thing."

Alice was hunched over the desk in their room, her hand gripping a pencil as she made lazy strokes over her sketchpad. "Mmm," she said noncommittally, "what's there to think about?"

She heard him close his laptop with a snap and lay it next to him on the bed. "You can't be from the South without an accent."

Alice looked at him curiously, her brow furrowed and her lips turned up in amusement. "I was locked in an asylum. It probably faded away."

"But you _had_ one. It has to still be in there." He laced his fingers behind his head and crossed his feet at the ankles, his smile wide and playful.

She flipped her pencil onto her desk. "Should I speak like you, _darlin'_?"

He laughed. "I have a Texan accent."

"So?"

"Honey," he practically purred, his drawl as pronounced as it had ever been, "you aren't ready for a _Texan_ accent."

She shook her head with a little laugh even as she was certain she could feel her still heart jump. _Honey?_ He had never called her _honey_. _Darlin'? _ Yes. _Love?_ Once or twice. But never _honey_. "All right then," her voice was silky to match his tone, "enlighten me."

He tilted his head, his eyes darkening slightly. She gave him a half smile, her eyebrow raised as she realized that he had felt the sudden punch of lust emanating off of her. "All right," he said slowly, "you've gotta talk lazier."

"'_Gotta_?'" she repeated. "You are taking this seriously."

He pushed himself into a sitting position, his arm draped across his raised knee. "It is serious." Jasper's perfect face was made all the more beautiful by his good mood and delighted expression. "You can't be a true Southerner without an accent."

She tilted her head again, her smile growing. "Can't I just get some new boots instead?"

"You'll look like an impostor." He shook his head. "Say, 'I'm fixin' to go buy some boots.'"

"I'm not entirely sure that even makes any sense." She couldn't help the laughter that accompanied her words.

"Just say it."

"I'm fixing to go buy some boots," she said with a dutiful little sigh.

"Terrible." He laughed as she scowled at him. "_Fixin'_" he said carefully. "And it's 'ah,' not 'I.'"

"Ah'm fixin' to go buy some boots." She raised an eyebrow. "Better?"

He grinned in response. "Now say, 'I love you, Jasper.'"

She raised her eyebrows. His drawl was comical. Had he really just said, _Ah love yew, Jas-per_? "That is ridiculous. Can't I just say 'y'all' a lot?"

He sighed and shook his head again, amusement still spelled out across his features. "My wife wants to look like an impostor."

"So...what you're saying is..." she said thoughtfully, "I need to forget proper enunciation, emphasis, pronunciation, and usage?"

Jasper raised his eyes and pursed his lips as if considering it. "Yes."

"Ah love yew, Jas-per," she said with a grimace and a laugh.

He shook his head, his brow furrowing even as his smile spread. "Well, that did sound ridiculous."

Alice laughed, throwing back her head at his expression. She stood and crossed to him in easy steps. "Ah'm fixin' ta kiss yew, Jas-per."

It was Jasper's turn to laugh fully. He twisted to let his legs hang over the side of the bed. He reached out to her as she stepped close, his hands wrapped around her narrow waist. "Ridiculous," he whispered, their smiles both still in place as she bent to kiss him.

"Your idea," she said softly, her lips moving across his with the lightest touch. She pulled back, her elbows resting on his chest, her hands skimming through his hair.

"We'll work on it."

"Starting with boots?" She put on her most hopeful expression. She could go alone or get Rose to go with her but she would have so much more fun with Jasper.

He grinned. "Will you say 'y'all' to a salesperson?"

"If you'll let me buy you a cowboy hat." It wasn't hard for her to picture it in her mind and her lips curved even as his grin melted into a grimace.

He wrapped his fingers around her belt, tugging her close for another teasing kiss. "You're unscrupulous."

She danced away, moving into her closet to grab her purse. "I've heard that before," she said on a laugh, "_darlin_.'"

* * *

Note: Spell check HATED this chapter. This one goes out to Rose Gilmore who asked for something about them both being from the South and to Yvaughn, my fellow Texan who has been gracious with both her reviews and her advice (and who loves a good Texism). I thought I'd give y'all something happy after the last one.

Oh and I was pleased to see so much interest in the novel-length fic. I have been working on it more diligently since Six Interruptions wrapped up but I want to finish it completely before I start posting it. Look for that fic in February probably (at the earliest).

Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. More to come sometime later in the week. Please review!

Octobergrace – They ARE like Remus and Tonks. Never made that connection before. Thanks!

Pookykums – That has been suggested before and I'm still trying to come up with something totally in character for that idea. Jealousy between entirely committed soul mates isn't the easiest to write.

Paper creations – I'll read it asap. Thanks and I am looking forward to it!

SignedSealedWritten – Happy Birthday!

- Brynna


	22. Wash Away

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Nizlopi.

Synopsis: Nessie has a question for Jasper. (_suggested by octobergrace_)

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_"_But it's time to move now. Come on and wash away wash away the sound of all these sad days, the sound of not knowing. Say we'll be here always and this is all I'm hopin' for.__" - Wash Away by Nizlopi_

**Wash Away**

Her bed was narrow and a soft, the headboard carved with fairy tale images and pretty little patterns. The comforter was pale yellow with tiny flowers and eyelet lace. The blanket that Esme made her was draped across the end of the bed, ready to be snuggled with once she kicked the rest of her bedding off.

Alice and Jasper were stretched out on the bed, trying to get her tired, trying to maintain her bedtime so Bella and Edward wouldn't revoke their babysitter status. Nessie was settled on Jasper's lap, still alert, completely ignoring the story he was trying to read her.

Nessie's little hand was gentle against his cheek. It was a caress, her fingers making meandering little trails over the raised scars. She wasn't showing him anything, just curiously touching the scars.

Jasper lowered the book and stared at Nessie, watching her little face draw up in confusion. "Uncle Jazz," she whispered, "why do you look different?"

She laid her hand flat against his cheek, showing him an image of he and Alice embracing. Their skin was in stark contrast, hers a beautiful, untouched porcelain, his a marred and ravaged web of stone. It was all he could see in the image, the idyllic vision of him embracing his wife in the moonlight ruined by his destroyed appearance.

He winced at the image. It was something he usually could forget about. The scars were a part of him, a part of his grim past. He couldn't even remember having smooth skin and his own eyes were simply accustomed to seeing them.

Alice had been fascinated by the scars when they first got together. Her fingers would run over one crescent after the other, asking for the story. He gave them to her, absolving himself of the sins with each telling. Her lips healed the wounds, as she punctuated each story with a kiss to the raised stone. She had never been scared of what the scars meant, had never looked on him with anything but love and adoration. It made it easy for him to forget.

He only remembered when he met other vampires for the first time, when he felt their fear flare and watched them recoil. It was the worst sort of joke the universe had to offer. He had visible, inescapable reminders of his dangerous past and at the same time, he was forced to feel the fear they caused, forced to constantly remember something he desperately wanted to forget.

Alice shifted next to him, her eyes meeting his over the top of Nessie's head. She smiled gently. "That's not much of a bedtime story, Nessie," he said softly.

Nessie's little brow furrowed, her lips pursing as she again touched the scars. Her fingers were feather light over his eyebrow, across his jaw, over his cheek. "They're pretty," she said with a smile, her perfect teeth brilliant in the waning light.

Alice laughed lightly. "That's what I tell him, Ness." She winked at Jasper, her arms crossed over her chest as she lounged against the headboard.

Nessie laid her hand against Jasper's face again, this time showing him twisted vines and lace and her crocheted blanket. She showed him gentle waves and tree bark and the patterns carved into her headboard. Finally, she showed him his own face, the texture of the ridges clear and distinct, an easy match for her other images. "Pretty," she said again.

He smiled at her. "They're scars. Only you and your aunt," he nudged Alice with his toe, "are silly enough to think they're pretty."

"Why?" Her head was tilted with her curiosity.

"Because we're the smart ones," Alice said, her voice firm and clear.

He grinned at her and ran a hand over Nessie's curly hair, his eyes catching the scars on the back of his hand. A particularly vicious newborn had delivered that one, his teeth latching on as he swung his arms wildly, fighting to get his arms around Jasper. The newborn succeeded for a moment, his mouth opening to let Jasper's hand go, the sharp teeth sinking instead into Jasper's jaw. Jasper had wrenched his arm off and finished him, jerking the newborn's head away, a chunk of Jasper's flesh still locked in his teeth as the newborn's head was torn free.

"Because," he whispered, his eyes cloudy with the memory. "Because I got them when I was fighting."

Nessie leaned her head against his shoulder, her fingers still making patterns on his skin. "Why were you fighting?"

He shrugged, shifting to lean against her headboard. "I didn't know any better."

"Why did Grandpa and Grandma let you fight?" She had learned quickly that Carlisle and Esme were the moral authority in the family. Their guiding hand was an absolute in her life, something she never would have to live without.

"We didn't always live with Grandpa and Grandma," Alice said.

"Before I met your Aunt Alice, I lived with a lady named Maria – "

Nessie lifted her head suddenly, her gaze whipping from Alice to Jasper and back again. She looked scandalized, betrayed even. "Uncle Jazz," she breathed, her eyes wide, "You loved someone else?"

Alice laughed again. "The answer had better be 'no.'"

Jasper grinned at her. "No," he said easily, amused at her teasing. Nessie's face was confused again. She was so surrounded by perfect love stories, by people who waited and hoped and found their other half with no sordid history to complicate things. "No, but she was in charge of an army, and I was in her army."

She traced the scars on the arm that looped around her waist. "Did they hurt?"

"They burned at first."

She stroked his arm and then patted his hand gently. "I still like them."

"That's because you're crazy."

Nessie laughed lightly and lunged out of his arms, diving for Alice. Alice caught her easily and tucked her into her side. "Like Aunt Alice!" she sang.

"Exactly like Aunt Alice," Jasper laughed.

"I'm pretty sure it's in poor taste to call a former mental patient 'crazy,'" Alice said with a sly grin.

He raised his eyebrows, still stunned at her ability to shake it all off, to find shreds of humor in her dark past. She grinned at Jasper, her amusement clear in her emotions. He shook his head at her, meeting her smile with his own, wishing he had that remarkable ability. He so wished he could let it all go, that he could see only beauty in his scars and find humor somewhere in the horrors of his past.

Alice's smile gentled and her head tilted as her hand ran over Nessie's arm lightly. _Are you okay?_ the look said. He nodded slightly in reply, his smile as gentle as hers.

"Uncle Jazz," Nessie said, her eyes finally starting to droop as she burrowed into Alice's side, "It doesn't matter if other people don't like them."

Jasper smiled again, running his hand over her hair and pulling her blankets around her. He sent her a wave of lethargy to get her fully settled into sleep. "You're right," he said, nearly silently.

Alice's own smile was wide and knowing. "Out of the mouths of babes," she whispered.

He shook his head, reaching across a gently snoring Nessie to lay his hand on Alice's cheek, his voice low to match hers. "You've always been the only one that mattered."

She laid her hand over his. "And I'm so brilliantly smart." He laughed in a little burst, so grateful that her moods seemed to always counter his. "I've always thought that you were perfect, Jasper." Her voice was soft, her eyes serious and honest. "Even from that first vision."

"Then Nessie's right," he said with a glance at the sleeping girl, his hand still pressed against his wife's cheek, "who cares what anyone else thinks?"

* * *

Note: Thanks to octobergrace for requesting a story about Alice and Jasper babysitting Nessie (waaay back in chapter 8...I'm slow with the requests). I thought I'd do some more fluff but I'll try to post something a bit more angsty this weekend.

Happy New Year to everyone! I cannot thank y'all enough for all the reviews on the last one. You guys were so funny, writing your reviews in Southern accents. I had fun with that chapter. There have also been a lot of new reviewers and faves and alerts recently so...welcome new readers!

I have recently resurrected my LiveJournal and cleared my friends list so if any of you use LJ, come on over and add me. I'd love to get to know you guys better. The link is in my profile.

Please review!

Reader13lovesbooks, poar-ice-cubes, octobergrace, darkroselight, Twilight fangirl13 – Vegas or Disney trip, more happy Jasper, Valentine's Day, cowboy hat, and Jasper's past are all on the spreadsheet.

pookykums – It's a post-BD J/A. How's that for vague? I added you on LJ, I'll probably be posting little preview snippets on there as I write.

Lucy – Something tells me my bills wouldn't get paid if I did nothing but write fanfiction ;) But I do promise to keep the updates as regular as possible. Thanks for the support!

- Brynna


	23. Tell Her This

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe and Alice's dialogue in this chapter. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Del Amitri.

Synopsis: Jasper gets a call from Alice – The first of the New Moon phone calls. (_suggested by k is happy_)

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_"_Tell her not to go, I ain't holding on no more. Tell her nothing if not this, all I want to do is kiss her__" - Tell Her This by Del Amitri_

**Tell Her This**

Jasper's still heart lurched the second the phone rang. He stared at the little silver phone, running his thumb over the sleek screen again and again. The ringing seemed to get more insistent as he eyed the words, "Unknown Number."

He flipped the phone open with a sigh, hoping against hope that it was a wrong number, that the strange twisting knots in his stomach and lurching heart were wrong. "Hello?" His voice was stronger than he would have imagined.

"Jasper," she whispered.

His jaw clenched as he heard the emotion in that single word. "What's wrong, Alice?"

"I'm on a plane with Bella."

His brow furrowed in confusion. She had called when she'd arrived in Forks but hadn't called again since. Wasn't Bella dead? Didn't she jump off a cliff? He shook his head. "With _Bella_?"

"Listen, Jasper. She's safe but – Edward's gone to Volterra. He's – he thinks Bella's dead."

Jasper closed his eyes and rested his forehead in his hand. He could feel Emmett close behind him, shifting anxiously and grinding his teeth as if he couldn't decide whether he was nervous or angry. "Rose told him," Jasper said.

"I know."

Of course she knew. "What's he going to do?"

"I can't be sure, I keep seeing him do different things, he keeps changing his mind...A killing spree through the city, attacking the guard, lifting a car over his head in the main square...mostly things that would expose them – he knows that's the fastest way to force a reaction." Jasper listened, his fingertips pressed into his temple, his stomach twisting painfully. He was vaguely aware of Emmett calling to Rosalie, of the two of them darting out the door, of her car starting and racing down the drive.

"I'm coming."

"No, you can't," she whispered, desperation lacing her tone, her words a clear plea.

He sighed. "Emmett's going."

"Tell Emmett no."

"They're already gone, Alice!" Jasper knew his voice was bordering on frantic but he couldn't quite find his usual level tone. He felt wild with his fear, as if he could easily run and swim to Italy if she just said the word.

"Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back." He could tell she was trying for calm, trying for authoritative.

His hand moved from his forehead to rub at his eyes. "Alice, just let us help."

"Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?"

He knew the answer, of course he knew the answer. If Alice died, wouldn't he do the same thing? Wouldn't he end his suffering? Wouldn't attempts to stop him only make him complete the task with greater speed, with greater urgency? "He'll do what he has to do." He said the words in a grudging tone, feeling angry at Edward and at at the same time, understanding of his actions.

"Exactly. I think Bella is the only chance – if there is a chance." He sighed again, finally lifting his head from his hand, the sun shockingly harsh through the large windows, her voice echoing dimly as the sound reverberated through oddly ringing ears. "I'll do everything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle; the odds aren't good."

_The odds aren't good_, he repeated in his mind. _The odds aren't good_.

If his heart could beat, it would be racing. If he could sweat, it would be beading, cold and persistent on the back of his neck. Jasper breathed harshly and let out a tiny laugh. "What happened to staying out of trouble? What happened to two days?" He shook his head once, trying to keep the humor in his voice through the crushing fear. "The one time we're separated..."

He heard her fighting for a laugh of her own, the sound twisted and snarled with a little hitch, the marker of her own sadness. "I've thought of that." Thought of their argument before she left? Thought of promises broken? Jasper wasn't sure.

"Promise me you'll get out."

There was a pause, a finite bit of hesitation as she considered the impossible request. He just needed to hear her say it. "Yes, I promise." He could hear the doubt there, the near lie.

_The odds aren't good_, his mind repeated again.

He couldn't find the right words. His mouth opened and closed as he searched for something adequate for what may well be their final conversation. How did he sum it all up? How did he profess his love and gratitude and worry and hope? What words were possibly enough?

"I can't stand this." His words escaped his mouth on a tiny whispered gasp before he could catch them, before he could jerk them back and offer her poetry instead.

"Don't follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I'll get out." He pressed his hand to his aching chest. They never lied to each other. It was an impossibility for them. Her emotions would give away the deception, his future would reveal the lie. But he heard it now, the promise she knew she would probably have to break. The utter danger of the situation forcing her hand, ensuring him extra time, ensuring that he didn't perish at her side.

He didn't say that he would follow her after, that if she didn't get out, he would flee to Italy for his own death sentence. He didn't say that she was doing him no favors. Instead, he whispered the one constant, real truth in his life. "I love you, Alice."

There was another pause and he could almost imagine her emotions, that mixture of warmth and love and exuberance and gratitude. "And I love you."

A final pause stretched between them. Neither of them could bring themselves to say "goodbye." There was some sense of comfort in letting the word go unsaid, as if they were telling the universe that they _would_ see each other again.

_The odds aren't good_.

She hung up first and he let his eyes close again, listening to the dial tone. A wave of helplessness washed over him. He closed the phone and tossed it onto the coffee table, listening as it skidded across the smooth surface and hit the floor with a soft thud.

He hung his head, his elbows resting on his knees, his body numb. He had to go get Emmett and Rosalie now. He had to prepare Carlisle and Esme for the possibility that they might lose two of their children. His heart twisted again at the thought and he pressed his hand to his chest once more.

_The odds aren't good_.

Jasper drew upon the hope that Alice had always given him. He searched for that feeling, that unbelievable sense of belief that she offered. He thought about her outstretched hand, her smiling face, her enveloping emotions. If anyone could defy the odds, if anyone could find the path, it was Alice. There was no one he believed in more, no one he trusted in more.

A part of him still screamed to follow her. Instead he stood, picking the phone up off the floor, gripping it like a lifeline. He stood and breathed in the silence, carefully smoothing his emotions. He was unable to remove the numbness, the light ache gripping his chest. But he felt solid again. He felt prepared to wait, prepared to see her again.

And just like that, his mind changed its mantra, the words twisting and mutating until he was no longer hearing about the odds. Suddenly, it was all banked despair and blind hope.

_Come back to me, Alice_.

* * *

Note: Thanks to k is happy for requesting the New Moon phone calls. I'll be doing the other call in a different chapter.

Thanks for all the reviews on the last one and the alerts and faves and recs. I appreciate all of it. I was going to try to start getting diligent with the review replies but work demanded my attention and writing demanded my attention and friends demanded my attention. So I have a question for you guys, do you like review replies from authors, or do you really care? I figured y'all probably would rather have more updates, but I thought I'd put the question to you guys. I don't want anyone to feel like I don't read and appreciate every single review.

Please review!!!

laloveskt, SignedSealedWritten, k is happy, I'mTooCoolForYou – Alice and Jasper meeting the Cullens, Jasper comforting Alice about her past, Emmett and Jasper wrestling match, and over-happy Jasper are on the spreadsheet. Thanks! (I feel like I forgot one...let me know if I did)

- Brynna


	24. Today

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Joshua James.

Synopsis: A series of vignettes detailing the first day at Forks High School through the eyes of the humans. (_suggested by justawriter_)

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_"_Another day it's all the same. Another way to make it sane. And here we are another breed."__ - Today by Joshua James_

**Today**

She patted her hair nervously, nearly vibrating out of her seat with her enthusiasm. Her sharp eyes were trained on the windows, trying to see what she could through the small hole created by the one broken blind. She could get up and stare out the window, but she thought that would just make her seem eager.

Shelly had heard from Julia who heard from Betty over at the hospital, that the Cullen family was a sight to behold. No one had actually seen all of them, of course, but Betty said she'd seen pictures of the children and Mrs. Cullen on Dr. Cullen's desk. "The whole family could be in magazines," Betty had said.

Shelly was nearly beside herself at the thought that she would be the first person in town to lay eyes on those kids. She already had plans to call Julia the second they left. When the sleek little car pulled into the small lot, Shelly stood, a smile plastered on her face, their schedules in her hand, her neck still twisted to get a glimpse. Every cell in her body twitched with an urge to stick her fingers in the blinds and pry them apart just a bit more.

The door opened and her heart stopped. They were a stunning group, each more beautiful than the last. She felt her smile faltering, melting from what she felt was charmingly cheerful to what was a cross between goofy and drugged.

"Hello," the little one said. She was all smiles, her fingers loose around the wrist of her blond brother. "We're the Cullens and the Hales."

Shelly's mouth opened wordlessly, her eyes darting from one beautiful face to another. "Uh – " she stammered. "I – your schedules."

She held up the papers. The boy who looked to be the youngest leaned forward smoothly, accepting the papers with a grin. "Thank you, Ms. – "

She thought she felt her eyes roll back in her head. He smelled sinfully good. "Uh, Cope. Ms. Cope."

"Thank you, Ms. Cope," the boy said with another grin. He passed around the schedules as they walked out the door, the big one nudging him playfully, the leggy blond laughing at some private joke. The little one and the blond boy trailed behind, the girl practically dancing out the door as the boy trudged slowly, his head down and his jaw clenched.

Shelly fought the urge to fan herself as she dropped into her desk chair, her hand already on her phone. She stabbed at the button and then pressed her hand to her chest. The ringing stopped as a familiar voice answered the phone. Shelly's smile was huge, her enthusiasm renewed as she found herself at the head of the gossip chain. "Julia, guess what..."

.

Julia ran to her window as soon as she hung up with Shelly. The nurse's office had a clear view of the student lot and she had no qualms about prying the blinds open, about peering out to catch a glimpse. The kids were all staring, watching as the little car pulled into a space, as the five new students unfolded themselves from the car with unearthly grace.

She narrowed her eyes as they glided toward the school, an air of untouchability surrounding them. The other children moved aside as they passed, trying to seem nonchalant even as their mouths gaped open in surprise.

Her view was obscured suddenly, the body of some student leaning up against her window. She scowled and let the blinds snap shut.

.

Eric was in love.

He leaned against the nurse's office and watched them walk by, his hand over his rapidly beating heart. The new girl was stunning. He didn't care that he would never find the nerve to talk to her. He didn't care that she was a grade older and so entirely removed from his league. He didn't care that she looked up adoringly at the big guy. He just knew that he was in love.

From the moment the new doctor and his family moved into town, they'd been waiting to get a look at the children, to see the new students. Eric couldn't quite remember all the details. He was pretty sure there were twins. Some were adopted? Some were foster children? He wasn't sure. He was just sure that he was in love.

She walked like a queen, her chin high as she glanced around at her kingdom, at the scattered crowd of boys with their jaws on the ground. She tossed her blond hair and waved at her little sister. She kissed the big guy on the cheek and moved with the blond boy – her twin, maybe – toward building two.

Eric shook his head to clear the haze and all around him, other male students did the same, each equally in love.

He moved into building one, sliding into his seat next to Tyler just as the bell rang. "Boy, Mike picked a day to be sick," he said breathlessly. "Did you see them?"

Tyler's eyes were wide and he nodded slightly.

"What's the blond girl's name?" He was still breathless as he pulled his English book from his bag.

"Rosalie," a trilling voice said.

Eric's own eyes widened as he lifted his head from his bag and came face to face with Alice Cullen.

.

Tyler stared at Eric with incredulous eyes. Alice was already facing the front again. "What's wrong with you?" Tyler hissed.

Eric shrugged in a gesture that said, _I didn't see her._

Tyler had watched the Cullens park their beauty of a car and and make their intoxicating trek through the parking lot. He had stood there, his mouth gaping as the five beautiful teenagers made their way across the lawn, as they split to go to each of their classes.

And now he found himself practically surrounded by them. Alice Cullen was in the desk in front of him, her feet swinging a couple of inches off the floor, her cheek pillowed in her hand as she stared out the window. Her brother, Edward was sitting next to him, his arms crossed firmly over his chest as he sat low in his chair. He smiled at nothing sometimes, his lips turning up as if he was remembering some secret joke.

Tyler ignored him, resting his chin in his hands as he stared at Alice. There was something captivating about her. She was small, graceful, stunningly beautiful. When he saw her next to her sister, he thought she seemed more accessible, some part of his brain convincing him that maybe he had a chance. But now, as she sat in a classroom filled with girls he had known his whole life, he saw that he was entirely wrong. He had no chance.

He watched as her pale eyes unfocused, as her petite frame stiffened. Edward turned his head marginally, his eyes boring into the side of his sister's face. He leaned forward, stretching half out of his chair to nudge her elbow.

Her eyes refocused and she grinned. Tyler sighed. She was even more beautiful when she smiled. _Talk to her_, that destructive part of his brain shouted. He ignored it, instead watching as Edward grinned back, as she tilted her head and stared at him, as Edward shook his head with a silent laugh.

Tyler smiled without knowing why. Something about their silent exchange was amusing. Some part of him was dying to be part of their private joke. The ending bell rang and they all stood.

_Talk to her!_ his brain shouted again.

"Uh, hi," he stammered, his cheeks reddening.

Alice's eyebrows were raised as she turned away from her still quietly laughing brother, her bag dangling from her fingertips. "Hello." She smiled sweetly and Tyler felt faint.

"Do uh, do you like Forks?"

"I do, thank you." She glanced at her brother, her eyebrows still raised. "It's a beautiful town."

"Uh, yeah." Edward walked out the door, still grinning. "You're Alice, right?"

"Yes." She smiled again. "Alice Cullen."

Edward stuck his head back through the door. "Jasper's waiting, Alice."

Her smile widened magnificently and she shouldered her bag. "Nice to meet you, Tyler."

He lifted his own bag, watching as she flitted out the door. His head was too cloudy for him to wonder how she knew his name. His eyes were too blinded by his perceived success to notice Alice thread her fingers through Jasper's, to see them strolling with casual intimacy toward her next class.

No, that destructive part of his brain was still shouting at him. _Good work!_ it said. _You have a shot with Alice Cullen!_

.

Jessica was humming lightly to herself as she made the journey back to her locker. She waved at Tyler as he rushed toward his algebra class, his smile huge and a little dazed. The warning bell rang as she dug for her forgotten book. The hallway started to empty as she yanked it free and turned to start toward her class again.

She stopped when she saw them. Two of the new students were at the end of the hall, their fingers loosely intertwined. The tall blond – Jasper, she remembered – looked like he was aching, like he was clenching his teeth to keep from screaming in pain. Alice turned to face him, pulling her hand free. She stood on her toes and braced her hands on his chest. She spoke in low tones and Jasper's expression melted, the tension leaving his face to be replaced with an ethereal smile. Even from her distance, she could see the look of adoration, the sigh of pleasure.

Alice pressed a quick kiss to his chin and darted into her classroom. Jasper stood there, breathing carefully, his smile still in place as he combed his hands through his hair again and again. He glanced down the hall at Jessica and raised his eyebrows, his jaw again clenching as he ducked into his own classroom.

Jessica hugged her book to her chest and stepped into Mr. Johnson's chem lab just as the bell rang. And then, all her thoughts ceased.

Edward Cullen was sitting in the lab stool next to hers.

.

"And he was nice?" Angela asked.

"He was quiet," Jessica explained. She sighed. "Quiet and amazing. He knew all the answers."

"That's nice." Angela was finding it hard to get wrapped up in Cullen fever. She had a daunting algebra test in fifth period that was weighing on her mind.

She found the Cullens interesting, of course, but she found all the students interesting. She found the Cullens frightening too, just as she found all the students frightening. She didn't much care about the rumors and gossip. Alice had lent her a pen in Spanish class, nicely complimenting her shoes.

Angela was pretty sure she'd answered her. Or maybe she'd just laughed nervously and taken the pen. Both seemed plausible.

She stopped in her tracks as she realized she was still holding the pen in her hand, twirling it between long fingers. She groaned. "I still have her pen," she muttered to a curious Jessica.

Angela scanned the cafeteria. She caught sight of Alice in the end of the lunch line. She squared her shoulders and walked over, feeling brave and numb all at once. Alice smiled as she stepped close. "Hello Angela."

Angela held out the pen. "Uh, hi," she stammered, "I forgot to give this back."

"Keep it," Alice said, "you'll need it for the rest of the day."

"Oh. Okay." She slid the pen into her pocket and then, suddenly feeling _very_ brave, asked shyly, "what class do you have after lunch?"

"Algebra."

"Oh, me too." Angela smoothed her hair in a compulsive little gesture. "We uh – we have a test today."

Alice smiled, her eyes knowing. "You shouldn't worry about it. I'm _sure_ you'll do well." Alice touched Jasper's arm lightly. Jasper looked at her with those serious eyes and Angela felt an impossible wave of confidence settle over her.

"Right, well, thanks for the pen."

She walked carefully toward her usual table, willing herself not to trip over her feet. Her friends were all looking at her with wide eyes, clearly finding her shockingly bold. Angela took her seat next to Jessica, pulling her lunch bag from her backpack.

Tyler leaned over with an awed expression. "Tell me _everything_."

.

Lauren rolled her eyes as Tyler hung onto Angela's every word. He and Eric looked like little puppy dogs, their eyes wide and smiles huge anytime Alice or Rosalie came within a ten foot radius.

The rumors had spread like wildfire. The new students were untouchably beautiful. Some were related and some weren't. Some seemed older than sixteen. Maybe some were dating. One didn't seem to talk much. One was maybe a dancer. One was maybe a model. They all seemed smart. They all seemed stuck-up. They all kept to themselves. It was all anyone seemed to be able to talk about.

Lauren absorbed the gossip with great enthusiasm. She didn't particularly care which rumors were true and which weren't. The five new students were the most exciting thing to hit Forks in recent memory and she was swept up in the excitement.

Jessica was already obsessed with Edward, but for Lauren, it was all about Jasper. There was something so deliciously brooding about him, some indefinably dangerous edge. The rumor was that Alice and Jasper were some kind of item. Lauren peered at Alice with a critical eye. She didn't think Alice was _that_ pretty. Lauren was definitely taller. Her hair was longer, her eyes bluer.

Edward caught her eye with a half-smile. _Did he just shake his head?_ she wondered. He leaned over his tray, whispering to his siblings. Jasper turned his eyes toward Lauren, giving her a quick once-over. The glance was dismissive and Lauren felt her cheeks burn as he looked away, as she felt Alice's curious gaze.

Lauren felt panicky as she wondered if she'd said something out loud. She blinked when she realized she hadn't.

Had she just been rejected without a word exchanged?

_Whatever_, Lauren thought, turning her attention back to her friends. She let the acid seep into her voice, making it clear that she was already too good for this particular fad. "Can we talk about something _other_ than the Cullens now?"

* * *

Note: So that was more than double the length of some of the other chapters. I know this one was a little different but I hope you guys liked it. Thanks to justawriter for asking for a story about the first day at Forks High. I often write these various little POVs as writing warm-up so I thought I'd put some together into one shifting POV story. I thought it was a different way to tell this particular story.

Thanks for all the reviews and for the feedback on my review reply question. I'm glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter! There will be another update later in the week.

Please review!

- Brynna


	25. The Minnow & The Trout

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to A Fine Frenzy.

Synopsis: A look at the differences between Alice and Jasper.

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_"_Help me out said the minnow to the trout. I was lost and found myself swimming in your mouth. Help me chief, I've got plans for you and me."__ - The Minnow & The Trout by A Fine Frenzy_

**The Minnow & The Trout**

She knows what people think.

They think Alice and Jasper's differences are profound, that they work in spite of them. They see only the problems, only those things that should cause conflict. They see tall and short, big and little, surly and cheerful, introvert and extrovert, flawed and flawless, saved and savior.

They see the things that Alice and Jasper never have. They see the things that Alice and Jasper let them see. She knows that people shake their heads, that they cluck their tongues. She knows that people don't really understand.

He took her hand.

In a half empty diner, she held her hand out and he took it. Her hand was thin and pale. Every tiny bone was clearly evident through deceptively fragile skin. His hand was long of finger, wide of palm. Scars crissed and crossed from wrist to fingertip. Jasper took her hand without a thought. He wrapped his long hand around her tiny one, cocooning it in his loose grasp.

She stared down at the hand that was so different from hers and sighed at the rightness of it all. Her hand felt warm and strong with his surrounding it, with his cradling hers. The gesture was so simple, so mundane. And yet, she felt like her hand was made to be held by his, as if it had never fulfilled its purpose until he took it.

Later they would learn that his hand could span the width of her back, that the fingers of both hands could wrap around the circumference of her waist. They would learn that her hand could perfectly nestle between the scars on his hip. They would learn that her fingers could thread comfortably through his, that their hands, big and small, fit together.

He held her close.

Jasper had this way of engulfing her, of turning their difference in heights into a positive. From the first time he hugged her, they realized that their bodies were like intricate puzzle pieces. Her head fit easily in the groove of his chest. Her hands settled at the small of his back. He bent his head down, resting his cheek on her head, letting honey-blond and inky black thread together. His arms wrapped around her, squeezing until she felt breathless. It seemed that every muscle in her body was right where it belonged, nestled against his, the hills and valleys of her frame aligned perfectly to the hard ridges and smooth plains of his.

It was the safest she ever felt. She was strong and capable, but in his arms, she felt untouchable. She felt like they were one being, like her fears were his, like her insecurities were shared, like she had someone, finally, to lean on.

He spoke.

They had their own language, right from the start. Looks and touches said more than words ever could. But they had words. Long conversations filled their sleepless nights. In private they discussed every thought, every feeling, every memory. They learned the intricacies of each other and in learning those intricacies, those little details, words became less and less important. He didn't need to shout his love, not when the lightest of touches to her face would say more than the inadequate word ever could.

It was the most exciting thing to her, learning what a look meant, what a touch meant. She might like to talk and laugh. She might like to fill the silences with words and hear all of his stories but she couldn't think of anything better than knowing what he was thinking, than glancing over and reading the most minute change in his expression.

Edward told her once that his thoughts were an interesting mixture of the deeply analytical and the hopelessly in love. Every thought, no matter how indirect, was for Alice. So a touch was never just a touch and a look was never just a look. It was his way of shouting, his way of filling the silences.

He laughed.

It was the most extreme of misperceptions. Alice was happy and Jasper was surly. Alice was fun and Jasper was brooding. It could be true. There were moments where the perception was exactly right, where Alice was happy and Jasper was surly. But no one seemed to realize that there wasn't anyone that made Alice laugh quite like Jasper. His sense of humor was wicked and his jokes were often all the more shocking because they were disguised by all of that slow southern charm.

His smile was nearly always slow to unfurl. Whether the smile was soft and gentle or teasing and mischievous, it always made his whole face light up. It always relaxed his tense muscles and drew out her own smile. When he laughed, it often started as a deep rumble, as a sound from somewhere low in his chest. She prided herself on her ability to make him laugh on the worst of days.

There had been days in their past when he couldn't laugh, where the pain of his lust for human blood had frozen that ability. But once he got to the other side of those torturous months, she had only to invoke some private joke to see him throw his head back and laugh, to hear that surprising sound burst forth. She laughed with him, neither sure which of them was supposed to be the happy one.

He saved her.

Alice pulled him up, again and again. She stood with him, never doubting his abilities, never doubting his capacity for self-control. She protected him, preventing him from becoming the monster he was so sure he already was. And maybe she saved him, maybe reaching out her hand in that diner saved him. Maybe she saved him again with each kiss, with each touch, with each smile.

But, she had dark moments, moments when her visions overwhelmed her, moments when all the darkness of her past washed over her in one dizzying wave. And in those moments, he pulled her close, those intricate puzzle pieces fitting together to save her from her torment. He protected her, preventing her from becoming overwhelmed by all of her emotions, by all of the memories she didn't have. He protected her from enemies both seen and unseen, always aligning himself so danger would have to go through him to get to her.

They were both the saved and the saviors. They were two overprotective fools that had each other's back before their own.

She knows what people think.

They see only the differences, only the extremes. But she knows the reality. She knows that in their own way, in their own time, they have embraced their differences, never seeing them as a source of conflict or challenge. They work as a couple _because_ of their differences, turning them into similarities, making them a part of their binding thread. In their way, they are both big and little, both saved and savior, both introvert and extrovert, both cheerful and surly. In _every_ way, they are both loved and in love.

She knows what people think but she doesn't care and he doesn't care because in reality, they aren't that different. Differences don't matter much when a soul has found its mate.

* * *

Note: This has been a crazy busy week so that's why I didn't post on Thursday like I normally do. I promise I'll do a good old-fashioned missing moment scene soon. Sometimes I just have more fun doing these character study style pieces.

Some people ask if I write specifically for a song or if I find a song to fit what I've written. This is definitely a time where I got the idea from the song. It may seem like a strange title but it was probably my favorite song off of the One Cell in the Sea album. Check it out.

Thanks as always for the reviews and faves and PMs and alerts and recs on the last one. You guys rock!

Now, please review and I'll try to post again tomorrow!

- Brynna


	26. Shout Out Loud

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Amos Lee.

Synopsis: Jasper's first baseball game. (_suggested by Yvaughn_)

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_"_Cause everybody's got a part in the game, and everybody's got a cross they can claim, and everybody's got somebody to blame. But we all must find our own way."__ - Shout Out Loud by Amos Lee_

**Shout Out Loud**

It felt strange in his hand. It was odd to hold something that was a symbol of joy, of freedom, of carefree summer days. He gave it a few testing tosses, the red laces rolling comfortably off his fingers as it flew out of his hand and landed again with a satisfying slap. He felt a smile start to spread across his face as he tossed the ball higher and higher, worrying about nothing but catching it again in his bare palm.

Jasper was just on the other side of his worst days, of those days when the pain had so overwhelmed him. So, when Alice jammed a cap on his head and tugged him out to the clearing, he followed reluctantly, unsure if he was truly welcome, unsure still how this family time worked.

His fears were put to rest as soon as he stepped onto the makeshift field, as soon as Emmett lobbed a ball at him, as soon as Edward shouted that Jasper would be on his team.

He stared at the ball as it whizzed down again, smacking against his palm. Alice was standing beside him, watching as Emmett and Carlisle marked the bases. Rosalie was swinging a bat, laughing as Edward spoke animatedly to Esme.

"How does this usually work?" Jasper asked Alice.

She shrugged, snatching the ball from the air as he tossed it again. "I didn't play last time."

Jasper watched her rolling the ball from hand to hand, her eyes still taking in all the activity with growing excitement. "Why?"

Alice looked at him with a smile. "I wanted to wait for you." She danced away, her grin wide as he looked after her.

His heart ached a little bit at that admission. The memories of all of his bitterness toward her during those torturous weeks washed over him in a shameful wave. She looked back at him and tilted her head, her excited smile still dazzling. He felt a punch of gratitude, of love. Jasper followed after her, adjusting his new cap as he walked, grinning when Alice launched the ball at Edward.

Edward caught it with a little gasping laugh. "My team's got a new pitcher!" he shouted.

"You can't just take all the new players," Emmett protested. "Carlisle – "

Carlisle cut him off with a raised hand as he marked the pitcher's mound. "Take it up with Esme."

Esme's arm was around Rosalie's shoulders now, her smile gentle for Emmett and his protests. "You have Rosalie and Carlisle. Those are fair teams."

"We don't know that! They could be really good." He turned to look at Jasper and Alice where they watched the show with raised eyebrows. "Are you good?"

Jasper and Alice glanced at each other. "We've uh – we've never played," Jasper said with a shrug.

"Oh," Emmett said, "Edward can have them."

Esme clucked her tongue at Emmett and Jasper laughed, appreciating Emmett's sense of humor. The sound was surprising, even to his own ears. All eyes turned to him briefly. Alice slid her small hand into his and squeezed, her emotions flaring.

She tensed briefly, her eyes losing their focus even as she smiled. "Here comes the storm," she whispered.

"All right," Esme said, her smile still gentle for Jasper, "let's play."

Edward moved into the outfield, shouting for Jasper to catch. Alice danced onto the pitcher's mound, catching the ball Edward threw at her just as the first rolling booms of thunder started, just as the first fat drops of rain fell. Jasper crouched behind Rose as she stood to bat. He was unable to stop his smile as he watched Alice hold the ball at her waist and narrow her eyes. He knew his emotions were overflowing, that they would all be feeling his strange happy playfulness, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't bring himself to reign it in. He was going to play baseball. He was going to _play_.

Alice launched the ball with amazing speed and grace, laughing when it smacked into Jasper's hand. Jasper tossed it back, grinning when Rosalie tightened her grip. "All right, little sister," she muttered, her eyes narrowing even as a tiny smile spread.

She connected soundly with the next pitch. The ball rocketed toward the trees. Edward backed up, his eyes watching the ball as if it was floating in slow motion. He turned and sprinted when the ball sailed past him. Rosalie darted around the bases, her blond hair flying. Esme stood to listen for the sound of Edward catching the ball or it dropping to the ground. They all heard it hit with a thud and then he flew back into the clearing, intent upon tagging up. Rosalie dove toward third base as Edward closed in. She was clearly safe and Edward skidded to a halt, lobbing the ball at Alice before pulling Rose to her feet, smiling as she came up covered in mud.

The rain was falling persistently as Emmett took his turn. He hit the first ball impossibly hard. Rosalie crossed home plate, slapping hands with Carlisle. Edward chased down the ball again, this time heaving it at Jasper as Emmett rounded third. Jasper caught it and crowded the plate, crouching forward as Emmett barrelled toward him. They crashed together with a thundering boom. Both laughed exuberantly, even as Esme called Emmett "out."

Jasper stood, feeling delightfully wet and muddy. Emmett gave Jasper a playful little shove. "Crowding the plate," he said, his smile still huge.

"Run faster," Jasper said with a matching smile and a half shrug. He chucked the ball back to Alice, laughing again as she gave a little victory twirl for their first out.

The next two outs came quickly and it was time for Alice to bat. Carlisle grinned from the pitcher's mound and launched into an impressive wind-up. Esme laughed lightly at his little spectacle. "He's having fun," she whispered as he threw a tricky curve ball at Alice.

Jasper glanced at Esme, watching as she smiled softly at her husband. As she clapped with a gasping laugh when Carlisle and Emmett collided as they ran to get under the ball.

Alice rounded the bases easily, darting across home plate with a little shout. Esme clapped again and Alice slapped hands with Edward. Jasper held a bat, grinning as Alice patted him on the chest as she passed, her emotions as joyous as he'd ever felt.

Jasper took a testing swing and then moved into the batter's box. The rain was pouring steadily, dripping from his hat, making a muddy mess of the field. Rosalie was crouched behind him, her entire front covered in mud and wet grass. Carlisle was laughing on the mound, the ball gripped tightly as he started another lengthy wind-up. Emmett was taunting Jasper from the outfield. Alice and Edward were clapping behind him, their words alternating between teasing and encouraging. Esme stood quietly, her emotions pushing through the joy and happiness. She felt hopeful, relieved, maybe even a little sad.

Jasper felt like everything slowed down. He pushed a wave of happiness toward Esme and watched as the ball left Carlisle's slick fingers. And he felt _right_. He was surrounded by this family who were drawing him in, who were accepting him without condition. And it was right. It was somehow perfect.

He swung as time returned to normal, as the ball sailed toward him. The bat hit the ball with a huge crack and he took off, launching himself from base to base. He laughed again as he ran, an overwhelming feeling of utter freedom settling over him. There was no one chasing him, no one he was chasing. He was having genuine _fun_.

He saw the ball fly toward Rosalie and he dove for her feet. She gave an indignant shout and they rolled together, both thoroughly muddy, the ball in the grass as they helped each other up.

"He was safe," Esme said, laughing and shrugging as Rosalie tossed her a glare.

Jasper shot a smile at Esme, feeling her emotions again. The sadness was gone, it was all breathtaking warmth now, all hope and joy and sweet compassion. His expression softened for a fraction of a moment and then Alice was there, cheering for his home run.

"I think we're good, Jazz," she said with a grin.

He laughed. "Maybe we are."

He tugged her over, his arm looping around her thin shoulders. They cheered as Edward hit a low ball into deep left field. "You're happy," Alice breathed as the play continued.

Jasper touched his lips to her wet hair, closing his eyes as the rain continued to fall. "I am. I've never played like this."

"Neither have I."

He squeezed tighter, his words a breathy little whisper through the constant sounds of the pounding rain. "Thank you." He didn't need to tell her that the thanks was for sharing the experience with him, that it was for giving him a new life, that it was for simply being Alice. She knew what the words meant.

She tilted her face up and stood on her toes, planting a kiss on a familiar scar and then she was off, picking up a bat and stepping again into the batter's box.

Jasper clapped automatically and then let his hands drop, taking them all in again. He still felt a bit like an outsider, but he could feel the tug, the pull into the fold. And, unbelievably, he welcomed it. He wanted more fun. He wanted to be a part of something that he actually cared about. He wanted to be a part of something that he believed in.

Esme touched his back lightly and Jasper turned with a start. "I'm glad you came to play," she said.

He met her smile with his own. "I am too."

"You made the game happier."

He laughed, the sound no longer such a surprise. "I think it did the same for me."

* * *

Note: Y'all, I just wrote so much angst for the long fic. I made _myself_ tear up! This was a joy to write after that. Thanks to Yvaughn for suggesting it. I hoped you liked some nice, happy Jasper.

So I've been doing the review replies but if you leave anon reviews, I can't send you one (but don't stop, anonymous reviewers! I love your feedback too). So please know that I appreciate each and every review. And if you left a suggestion, it's on the spread sheet.

Thanks to everyone, as always, for the reviews, emails, PMs, alerts, and faves. Nothing makes me get to writing quite like feedback. You guys are awesome.

Please review!

- Brynna


	27. Do What You Have to Do

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Sarah McLachlan.

Synopsis: Jasper waits for that second phone call in New Moon. (Note: Heads up...another different one)

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_"_Deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you."__ - Do What You Have to Do by Sarah McLachlan_

**Do What You Have to Do**

_Tell me about pain_, his thoughts screamed. _Tell me about the pain of needing, of wanting, of losing. Tell me about pain._

He looked at his family, meeting their gazes, begging them with unheard thoughts. _Tell me about pain._

He loved her with a violent passion, with a definite sort of finality. He loved Alice desperately, painfully. And he was staring life without her square in the face, challenging it with glassy eyes and screaming thoughts.

Jasper was motionless in his grief, eyeing the tiny phone with hope and hatred and fatigue. There was something disgusting about his entire life boiling down to the little silver phone. And yet he ached for it to ring. He ached to smash it so it could never _not_ ring. _Tell me about pain._

He knew of pain. He knew how to live in it, with it. His past was riddled with the suffocation of too much loss and too much grief. His memories were tinted red, dripping with the agony of that horrifying pain. It was a climate in which he knew how to exist.

But he didn't know how to exist in life without a phone call.

Its silence was taunting him, stealing away his hope. He stared at the phone again, hating it, loving it, praying to it.

_Tell me about regret. Tell me about acting rashly and suffering the consequences. Tell me about wishing for a do-over, a rollback, a shiny DeLorean and a clock tower. Tell me about regret._

Jasper watched as Rosalie stared at the table, seeing the phone, seeing through the phone, seeing her mistake. Her love for Edward and Alice was selfish and real and something she protected with her every breath, with her every cell. And yet it was her mistake, her rash action, that had them all staring at a phone.

She hadn't apologized but her pain and grief was so acute, so entirely consuming. She locked eyes with Jasper for the space of a breath and inched closer to Emmett. _Tell me about pain, Rosalie. Tell me about regret._

She bridged the distance and Jasper understood, even as his heart broke anew. It was unconscious, Linus and his blanket, a protective move that allowed her to survive her mistake. She couldn't bear to think of Jasper without his other half and so she moved closer to her own, clinging to Emmett to gather strength and hope.

She was paralyzed with fear and it didn't take any special powers to know that she would never survive the _if_. She couldn't survive that guilt, that regret. But with Emmett, she could exist.

He knew of regret, of Rosalie's and his own. He knew of wishing to do it again, of wishing he had gone with Alice to Forks, of wishing they hadn't disagreed, of wishing she hadn't tried to protect him. He knew of regret.

He wanted to press his hand to his heart, to hold it there tight so the pressure would outweigh the pain. But he couldn't move, he could do nothing but stare at the phone and _feel_ and beg for things with wild thoughts and an aching heart.

_Tell me about want. Tell me about wanting to fix things. Tell me about being helpless. Tell me about wanting to defend the indefensible mistake. Tell me about wanting to save the day. Tell me about want._

Emmett's foot was tapping wildly, humanly. Jasper heard the sound, some part of him wanting to lash out, to bark at him to quit, but he could feel the want, the anger, the sadness. He loved them too. And he loved Rose.

There was no action to fix this. He couldn't turn back time for her. He couldn't get Alice and Edward and Bella and keep them safe. There was nothing to punch, nothing to strong-arm. There was no defending for the defender.

Jasper watched, tearing his gaze from the phone, as Emmett wrapped an arm around Rosalie, as he kissed her head, as they both stared at nothing. Emmett ached to make it better. He ached to have his family whole. He ached with his helplessness. _Tell me about pain, Emmett. Tell me about want._

He knew of want, of Emmett's and his own. He knew what it was to want to protect, to feel helpless. He knew what it was to want the phone to ring, to want them all home, to want to have Alice in his arms. He knew of want.

Emmett's eyes shifted to the phone and Jasper felt his anxiety wash over him and his love and his want and his pain. It was all there, all real, all crazed in its lack of focus. Emmett wanted everything, for everyone.

_Tell me about failure. Tell me what it is to not be enough, to not have the answers. Tell me what it is to lose, to fall, to have something ripped suddenly from clinging fingers. Tell me about failure._

Carlisle's eyes were closed, as if looking at the phone would exacerbate his failure, as if his closed eyes could stave it off, just a bit longer. Shutting his eyes to the sight was his survival method. He leaned against the wall, not even able to comfort Esme as he waited, awash in his defeat.

He was a shepherd with lost sheep, a father who couldn't save his children. His hands were tied and the phone wasn't ringing. He was a failure, the head of a fractured family. Jasper felt his ache and he wished he could reassure him. He wished he could tell him that he was the finest man, the finest leader, Jasper had ever known. But the words died before they reached his lips. There were no reassurances in the distressing stillness. There was nothing but a silent phone and too many emotions. _Tell me about pain, Carlisle. Tell me about failure._

He knew of failure, of Carlisle's and his own. Jasper failed often. He knew that failure could be heartbreaking and painful and numbing. He knew that some failures changed you and some challenged you. And he knew that some failures had no other side. Some were complete. Some ruined everything. He knew of failure.

The phone looked small, insubstantial. Jasper saw Carlisle's hand twitch once, as if he was going to touch the phone, as if he was going to make sure it was real, as if he was going to make sure it wasn't wasting away. Jasper narrowed his eyes and stared at the phone, daring it to grow any smaller.

_Tell me about hope. Tell me about breathless belief. Tell me what it is for hope to bind you, to keep you from going to pieces. Tell me about hope._

The clock in the hallway ticked with an unbearable volume, counting down all the seconds of silence, all the seconds Alice didn't call. And as most of the threads of hope diminished with each thudding tick, Esme's grew stronger.

Jasper held onto it, his own thread thinning, drowned out by the pain. But Esme hoped with wild abandon, leaving no room for anything else. She couldn't let pain settle in or want or regret. She couldn't think of losing three more children and what that would mean. She only had room for hope. Jasper tried to weave the threads together, the thick and the fragile. He tried to borrow from Esme. _Tell me about pain, Esme. Tell me about hope._

Jasper felt it, acutely, that punch of hope renewed. He breathed deeply, his body still motionless as he borrowed greedily.

He knew of hope, of Esme's and his own. He knew that hope could save, that sometimes it could be just enough to push a body through, to get to the other side. He knew what it was to hope for the seemingly impossible and he knew what it was to see hope die and flare in the space of a breath. The most vivid span of his memories were filled with hope, with the belief that it was all going to be all right, that Alice could get him through anything. He knew of hope.

The phone looked bigger as his hope was renewed. It no longer looked as if it would fall through his fingers if he tried to lift it. It suddenly looked solid, as if the phone knew of its importance in the room. And again the clock ticked and the phone stayed silent.

_Tell me about pain._

The clock ticked once, twice, three times. An eternity passed as they sat, drowning in their pain and regret and want and failure and hope. The phone grew smaller again and he continued to borrow from Esme. He felt selfish, sick, ready to jump out of his own skin.

And then the phone rang.

As if it had never been taunting them, as if it knew nothing of their grief, it simply rang. Jasper's fingers trembled as he reached for it, as he felt the emotions in the room switch course in one painful jolt. His fingers closed around the phone and squeezed, Linus and his blanket again. He flicked it open, lifting it to his ear as he planted his forehead in his hand.

"Hello." His voice was scratchy. He hoped for Alice's voice and expected everyone else's. _Tell me about pain._

There was a pause, a breath, and then, "Jasper." Her voice was a soothing whisper, the word an apology. All of her want and sorrow and regret and love was tangled in that word. The joy in the room overwhelmed him as he gripped his forehead, his smile growing as his own emotions changed, as the pain and everything else faded away and focused intensely on the wash of love.

_Tell me about love. Tell me about giving pieces of your heart away. Tell me about existing for one person. Tell me what it is to have been created as a half of a whole. Tell me about love._

* * *

Note: This is what happens when I watch Battlestar while I write. Different again, I know, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. I thought a little angst would be nice.

Thanks to everyone for the reviews and all on the last one. You guys are awesome. Now, I have to get ready to see who the final Cylon is. Come back for another update sometime this weekend!

Please review!

- Brynna


	28. Somewhere Only We Know

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Keane.

Synopsis: Jasper needs some alone time with Alice during school. (_suggested by emilydeari_)

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_"_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. So if you have a minute why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know?"__ - Somewhere Only We Know by Keane_

**Somewhere Only We Know**

"Jazz," she whispered.

"Mmm," he breathed into her neck.

"We're going to get into trouble." Her voice was light, her words an unconvincing protest.

"Did you have a vision?"

"No." The word was tangled with a tiny moan as his tongue darted out to trace the column of her neck. "It's just common sense."

Jasper trailed kisses across her jaw, smiling as he felt her lust flare. "Your words say stop, but your emotions..." He touched his lips to hers, their eyes open, their gazes locked.

She lifted her hands and held his face, pulling her head back a fraction of an inch. "We can't finish this here." Her fingertips made idle paths over his cheekbones.

Jasper's eyes swept over her face. He shifted to hold her closer. "Technically we could." He raised an eyebrow and grinned, clearly joking.

"Jazz!" she laughed, feigning shock. "We're in a broom closet."

The school's maintenance closet was dusty and dark. He could hear a mop dripping in the corner and the tiny, scurrying legs of a spider somewhere near their feet. He had pulled her into the little closet and melted against her, anxious to have a brief reprieve from the sea of beating hearts.

"It's better than lunch," he said with a grimace.

"What are you going to do if we get caught?" She was grinning, sending him the exact emotions he needed to see him through the day.

"I'm going to say that I'm one hundred and forty years old and I'm married and my wife is beautiful and I wanted to kiss her." His smile grew as he watched Alice's eyebrow raise with each word.

"Uh huh," she said slowly, "Or?"

He laughed. "Or I'll let you work your magic and get us out of trouble." He turned his head to press his lips against her palm. "I just need a break," he breathed against her hand.

Her fingers moved over his lips. "Bad day?"

He shook his head, his jaw clenching as he resisted the urge to nip at her fingers. "None are easy."

Alice let her fingers trail to the corner of his mouth and then she pressed a soft kiss to his lips, standing on her toes to bridge the difference in their heights. Jasper's arms tightened convulsively as her lips firmed, as the kiss deepened.

"Decided to risk it?" he whispered against her lips.

"Decided to kiss you."

"I'll take it." He moved a hand up to bury his fingers in her silky hair. His eyes darkened slightly and then their lips met in a bruising kiss. Her hands trailed from his face to grip at his head, holding him close to her. He moaned as her tongue touched his lips, as her familiar taste filled his mouth. Jasper somehow managed to pull her closer, lifting her slightly to more completely even their heights.

Jasper lived for these moments. As much as he cherished the tender times and the quiet times, he lived for the light moments, for the moments when they could be a young couple like any other.

His lips moved insistently as he fought to drink her in. She responded eagerly, forgetting whatever protests she'd had. "We should ditch the rest of the day," he said quickly, moaning as she shifted to press a kiss to a particularly tender spot below his jaw.

"Mmm," she murmured, the sound sending little vibrations against his skin. He felt his own lust flare, felt his eyes practically roll back in his head.

"Alice," he gasped. "Broom closet."

"Your words say stop..." she whispered, grinning before she returned her lips to his. He kissed her with renewed vigor, nearly drowning in her, nearly forgetting where he was and taking her against the dusty wall.

And then she stiffened, her lips freezing against his. It lasted a fraction of a moment and then she was trying to wrench herself free. The door to the closet was thrown open with force and light from the hallway seemed to explode into the dark space.

Vice Principal Jackson stood there, his round face red and his scowl deep. Jasper's eyes were wide as he glanced at Alice. She shot him one of her patented 'told you so' looks and he could only roll his eyes in response. She squirmed and Jasper released her, settling her on her feet and turning without thinking, blocking her body from the vice principal, shielding her from the most mundane of threats.

"Miss Cullen, Mr. Hale, surely you know of the school's policy on public displays of affection."

"We weren't actually in public," Alice said, leaning around Jasper with the most charming of smiles.

Jasper stared at the man, feeling his annoyance, his fatigue, his licks of pleasure at having something exciting to mark the day. Then Jasper shoved those emotions aside, changing them as he spoke. "Perhaps you can forgive us, just this once."

The man practically swayed as wave after wave of a strange mixture of compassion and relaxation and lethargy washed over him. "Well..." he said, suddenly lazy.

"These aren't the droids you're looking for," Alice whispered as she watched his resolve faltering.

Jasper elbowed her gently, fighting to hold in the burst of laughter threatening to break free. Leave it to Alice to make the silly joke, to give him a final shot of joy before their break ended.

Alice stepped around him and Jasper felt the ridiculous tug to follow, to keep himself between the two. He watched as her face contorted, as she suddenly looked unbelievably close to tears. Jasper nearly laughed again, recognizing the expression as part of that magic he spoke of, as the easiest way for her to get whatever she wanted.

"Mr. Jackson," she said, her lower lip trembling, "we didn't mean to do anything wrong. It will never happen again."

Jasper watched the man's hand twitch, as if he was going to gather her up and apologize. "Well," he said again, swaying once more under the onslaught of strange emotions. "I suppose we could consider this a warning. But next time it's automatic detention."

"Yes sir." Alice gave him a tremulous smile.

"Thank you, Mr. Jackson," Jasper said, maintaining the waves of emotion.

He stepped away from the door and Alice danced after him, reaching back for Jasper's hand to tug him along. The hallway was empty and as soon as they saw that they were in the clear, they beat a hasty retreat toward the cafeteria. "Emmett's going to tease us."

Jasper shrugged. "Emmett would tease us about something anyway."

"We can still ditch," she whispered.

He raised an eyebrow, his grip tightening on her hand. "What will happen if we do?"

She slowed marginally, her vision clearing as she stared at nothing. "We won't get into trouble. No tests, no pop-quizzes." Alice smiled up at him. "We'll find a place without spiders."

He laughed softly. "Our bed, maybe?"

"Perhaps." She pushed against the door leading outside, her fingers trailing once across his jaw as she danced into the misty rain. "You know that when it gets to be too much, you only have to say something."

He reached for her hand again as they walked slowly into the bordering woods. "I know." His voice was soft. "Sorry I got us caught," he laughed, not really sorry at all.

She shrugged, leaning into his side. "You _are_ one hundred and forty years old."

He grinned. "An adult by all accounts." Jasper pressed a kiss to her hair as they walked. "Don't forget about my beautiful wife."

She laughed as they moved through the undergrowth, picking their path toward the house. "How could I forget? She sounds great."

"She is." He stopped and kissed her, smiling against her lips, feeling her lust flare again. "We don't have to wait for the bed."

Alice smiled and gestured to the surrounding foliage. "Spiders."

"Oh right." They walked forward again. He felt more and more solid with every step they took away from the school. He breathed deeply, enjoying the clean air, enjoying the scent of nature and Alice. "Wait, what if there's a spider in our room?"

"We do have a closet." She shot him a sly grin, basking in his good mood. "I know how fond you are."

* * *

Note: I saw this suggestion in my review alerts and it immediately got me imagining this scenario. Nothing special, just some fluffy fun. Thanks to emilydeari for the suggestion (I know they didn't get in much trouble, but hopefully you liked it anyway).

Thanks for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter. I so appreciate all of the feedback. Updates will be spotty in the next week. Real life is getting busy.

Please review!

- Brynna


	29. Words Fail You

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Kris Delmhorst.

Synopsis: Five moments on the witness hunt in Breaking Dawn. (_suggested by PsychicPixie_)

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_"_Now the hour is getting late, and the moon is sinking low, you find yourself in such a state with so far still to go."__ - Words Fail You by Kris Delmhorst_

**Words Fail You**

_1) If your deeds are selfish, are they still heroic?_

She felt like it had been days. She felt like the running and swimming and running had lasted for weeks, for an eternity. He finally pulled her to a stop when they were long out of Washington.

"Alice," he said, his fingers firm on her shoulder, "where are we going?"

His face was contorted in his confusion. His eyes were trusting but concerned. Alice glanced around, watched as the wind tilted the foliage toward them, as if each flower and fern was waiting for her answer as well.

"I don't know." Her voice was quiet. She was sure that if she spoke any louder, sobs would escape. "They have to – they have to believe I've left."

"Why?" He tugged her closer, wrapping his arms tight around her, intent upon holding her together when it seemed as if she would fly apart.

"If Aro touches Edward he can't – I'm too big of an advantage."

He touched his lips to her hair. "What if they don't believe?"

Alice shook her head. "I don't know. Too many decisions between now and then."

"What do we do now?"

Alice gripped Jasper's shirt, her eyes closing, her lips turning up. _We_, he'd said. Always _we_. "Maybe we should head down South. We could send Peter and Charlotte to Forks and then find Zafrina and the others."

He nodded, his body still surrounding hers. "That's a good plan. Maybe we could speak to Kaure, see if she knows of anyone else like Nessie."

"All right," she whispered. She backed away, preparing to run again.

"Wait." He pulled her back, his hand cupping her chin gently. "It's going to be all right." He said it softly, a sweet absolute.

Alice's smile was sad. "I can't imagine life without them."

.

_2) If they all lose faith in you, did they ever really believe?_

Jasper felt her emotions before he saw her. She was practically radiating sadness. All of the determination he had felt from her was swept to the side and only sadness lingered. Jasper opened the sliding door and leaned against the door frame.

She was sitting on the top step of Peter and Charlotte's back porch, her knees drawn up, her arms gripping them tightly. Her face was turned up to the moon, her eyes oddly searching.

"What's wrong, Alice?" he asked.

She didn't answer at first. Her eyes continued their search. When she did speak, her voice sounded cracked, broken. "The sky looked different at home."

Jasper's brow furrowed as he gave the sky a fleeting glance. He moved close to her and dropped to the weathered planks, drawing his knees up in a mimic of her pose. "What's wrong, Alice," he asked again.

There was another pause as she tore her gaze from the sky and buried her mouth in her folded arms. "They believe," she sighed, her voice muffled.

"What?"

"Edward and the others – they believe we left them. They think I'm protecting you."

Jasper could feel her heart slowly breaking. He leaned further over his knees, hoping the pressure would ease the sudden ache in his own heart. "They needed to believe, Alice. For their own safety."

"I know."

Jasper reached out a hand and pressed it to her back, feeling the light tremble. "They've always been the family we chose, Alice."

"I know," she said again, "but after so long..." She glanced at Jasper, forced a smile. "This is what I wanted. It's silly to be so sad."

He shook his head, his hand making a steady path up and down her back. "Not silly. But they rely so much on you. It's probably easier for them to figure things out if they imagine you've gone." Her trembling stopped beneath his hand but he still continued his path. "Otherwise they might just wait for you to give them the answers, to tell them what to do."

She lifted her face from her arms, her eyes again turning up to the sky. She searched for a minute more and then turned to face him, her hand touching his cheek lightly. "How did I ever manage thirty years without you?"

He shook his head, his hand trailing from her back to her shoulder. He pulled her against his side. "You're the strongest person I know. And we're going to find our answers in Brazil and save the day and no one will ever doubt us again." His grin was slow and teasing as he kissed her forehead. "It's going to be all right."

She nodded her own smile finally starting. "I'm glad you're here to tell me that."

"I'll say it as many times as it takes."

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_3) Is it wrong to take a break when lives hang in the balance?_

Alice knew that these times were always harder on Jasper than he let on. When she had to be so focused, so careful to see everything, he could do very little to help her. Making love killed her focus. A kiss at the wrong time could pull her from an important vision. Even the wrong word at the wrong time could draw her out, could bring her back before she saw the important part.

Luckily for the both of them, Jasper had long since gotten very adept at knowing the times when the visions weren't coming, when she could afford to let her focus slip.

Texas looked just as she remembered it. They raced across the hill country in a pilfered car, driving past sights they had seen together on various vacations. The logistics of vacationing in the South were always tricky but they'd made a point to return to Jasper's home state a few times.

Alice pressed her hand against the glass of the passenger side window as Jasper drove, her eyes taking in the sights, filing away the changes since the last time they'd visited. Every few minutes, she let her eyes unfocus as she tried to find a new vision. Nothing was changing.

Jasper turned the car suddenly and Alice glanced over, a curious expression on her face. "You know where we are?"

She nodded. "Near San Antonio."

He smiled and slowed, throwing the car into park. "Remember this place?"

Alice leaned forward in her seat, peering out at the jagged rocks and huge lake below. She smiled softly. "We played in the water."

He laughed. "All alone in the rain."

She smiled, seeing it all. Better times, easier times. Alice sighed. "We have to go."

Jasper shook his head. "Five minutes. We need a break, Alice."

She glanced at him, watched him meet her gaze with pleading eyes. "Five minutes." She scooted over in her seat, pressing her lips to his jaw.

He caught her lips with his own. She watched as his eyes closed and then, finally, she let her focus drop. She let her own eyes close, let her arms wrap themselves around him, let her body turn toward his. "Love you," she breathed. "Thank you."

His lips curved against hers. "You're allowed five minutes. You aren't a superhero."

She hugged him, her face buried in his neck, her fingers playing with his hair. "Can we come back here? After this is all over, I mean."

"Of course. Wherever you want."

She sighed again, pressed another kiss to his lips. "We have to go."

He smiled, his fingers light on her cheek. "It's going to be all right."

She smiled, truly believing that he was right. "I couldn't do this without you."

He touched her forehead where a seemingly permanent furrow had formed. "We're a team, darlin.'"

She touched her chest, nearly laughing now as he put the car in reverse. "The accent comes out."

"We're in Texas."

Alice felt lighter, more solid. Tiny dredges of pain that were lingering in her overworked mind seemed to fade away as she laughed fully, as she laid her hand against his cheek. "Thank you, Jasper."

.

_4) If you can't see the answers, will you know the questions?_

Jasper could feel her nerves, even though they were wrapped tightly in her enthusiasm, in her joy. They'd done it, they'd found someone like Nessie. The boy and his aunt were supposed to meet with them shortly. Kachiri was leaning against the wall, her eyes closed as they all waited.

"I won't be able to see before I speak."

Jasper grinned. "Welcome to normalcy."

She rolled her eyes, her nerves still firmly in place. "What if I say the wrong thing? What if he won't help?"

"Then I'll make him want to help."

"With your power or force?"

Jasper stared at her, his eyebrows raised in one of their unspoken conversations. _Pick one_, he said with his eyes.

"Power first," she breathed.

He nodded, watching as she fidgeted a bit more. She closed her eyes as if she was searching for the right words in the darkness. Jasper touched her hand and she turned it over, her eyes still closed. She threaded her fingers through his and gripped tightly.

"Hey," he whispered. "It'll be all right."

Her lips curved and he could feel the shift, the lessening of nerves and the growing of enthusiasm. "Yeah," she sighed. "Yeah. You're right."

"The hardest part is over. We've found him."

"We're going to save the day."

He grinned. "And then we're going to take a vacation."

.

_5) Could you survive the death of hope?_

The wind was whipping as they ran. She was pushing herself beyond her limits, nearly flying. Things looked familiar, smelled familiar, felt familiar. Jasper's fingers were pressed into the small of her back, always supportive, always ready to catch her and carry her.

Kachiri was racing behind them, taking great loping steps as she sprinted. She was going home too, back to the family she hated to be without. And behind them were their saviors. If they made it in time, Huilen and Nahuel would save them all, would put together the pieces of her world.

Her visions were obscuring her sight. With each step, the visions changed. Without Jasper's guiding hand, she could very well run headlong into a tree. Alice saw the consequences of arriving late, the triumph of arriving on time.

She saw Edward taking on Demetri and falling. She saw Aro taking Bella and Kate and Zafrina as his own. She saw the death of Esme and Carlisle and all the rest. She saw the destruction of her way of life, of so many of the people she held most dear.

She also saw the celebration. She saw the retreat of the Volturi. She saw Rose and Emmett kissing. She saw Esme welcoming them home with open arms and an overflowing heart.

Alice pushed herself harder, hoping to firm up the vision, hoping to make the images of their failure fade entirely.

She felt Jasper's fingers tighten in the fabric of her shirt. "We have to slow down, Alice."

"We can't," she hissed.

"Nahuel has a beating heart. He can't go on at this pace."

She slowed marginally, the wrong vision firming up. She watched as Edward lunged at Demetri, as Bella dropped her shield in her effort to help her husband. And then she watched the destruction of everyone.

"We have to keep going," she ground out through clenched teeth. "We're going to be late."

"Run ahead," Kachiri said. "I will carry him if I must. We will be moments behind."

Alice sped up again, feeling Jasper's hand guiding her once more. Her visions were morphing again, wavering in a touchy space where decisions weren't quite settled. They were so close, so close. "It's going to be all right," Jasper whispered behind her, reassuring them both as they sprinted ever closer.

The vision was firming, they were going to do it. "It is," she whispered.

They ran for a dozen more yards, close enough. _Edward!_ her mind screamed. _Edward, Edward, Edward!_

They kept running and she kept shouting, waiting for a sign that they were close enough, that they'd made in in time.

And then she heard it, the loud call of her very alive brother. "Why don't you join us, Alice?"

So she did. She and Jasper jumped back into the fold, back into their family and, as Jasper had so often promised it would be, everything was all right.

* * *

Note: Thanks to PsychicPixie for the suggestion. Happy birthday!

I am behind on review replies and PM replies but I wanted to get this chapter out. I _have_ replied to ask many of you for clarification on your chapter suggestions. Note that if you tell me why you are interested in an idea or give me tiny bits of extra info, it will probably help to spark my imagination and will get the idea written more quickly. I so appreciate all the wonderful suggestions and would love to write them all.

Thanks for all the reviews, PMs, emails, faves, and alerts. The last chapter was the most reviewed ever! You guys are awesome. This is chapter 29. I am prepping chapter 30. I said before that I work in tens so what do you guys think – are y'all in for ten more of these?

Please review!

- Brynna


	30. A Bad Dream

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Keane.

Synopsis: A little look at Jasper just before finding Alice.

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_"_I wake up, it's a bad dream, no one on my side. I was fighting, but I just feel too tired to be fighting. Guess I'm not the fighting kind. Where will I meet my fate? Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate. And when will I meet my end? In a better time you could be my friend"__ - A Bad Dream by Keane_

**A Bad Dream**

It was the strangest of habits.

Jasper's brow was furrowed as he considered the huge oak door. He turned and squinted up at the bright sun, his skin shadowed by the eaves of the church. He stuck a hand out, watching the shadows creep up his pale skin, watching the light hit his hand. Beams of light were thrown in every direction, the sparkle brilliant even in the blazing afternoon sun. He felt a tug at the corners of his mouth, an unfamiliar smile beckoning.

The bells chimed, startling him before the smile could take hold. He jerked his hand back and turned, considering the door once more. Jasper knew it was a ridiculous habit, that no one else would ever understand this compulsion. Maybe this would be the last time. Maybe something about his life would change and he'd never feel this pull again.

His hand wrapped around the wooden handle and he could feel emotions welcoming him in. The door creaked loudly but nobody turned as he eased into the room and dropped into the last pew. He settled in, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

He could smell the rich smell of wood oil and burning candles. He could smell the blood of the gathered humans, his thirst reduced to an annoying itch as his eyes were only beginning to darken after his last feeding.

It always gave him a heady thrill to sit in a church. He was a monster in the sanctuary, an animal in the midst of the unsuspecting prey. But there was something soothing about it at the same time, some strange sense of real peace that washed over him the second he crossed the threshold.

The ceremony was always the same, the set up was always the same, only the players changed. Only the body in the box changed. Jasper gave the casket a cursory glance before he shut his eyes, absorbing the emotion in the room, taking in the words of the minister.

Funerals were a strange thing. He couldn't remember ever having attended one in his human life, but they really were the most human of traditions. All creatures were born and all creatures died but only humans marked the passing. Only humans erected monuments and created ceremonies.

Humans _felt_ so wildly when their loved ones passed. The grief was often acute. Sometimes there was happiness or relief or contentment mingled in. Sometimes there was jealousy or anger or disbelief. Whatever the dominant emotion, it was so focused, so intense that Jasper couldn't help but be drawn to it.

He loved the ceremony of it all, the gathering to celebrate or mourn a loved one. He had destroyed so many of his own kind, had thrown them onto a fire without so much as a stray thought for the life lost.

He took in the emotions greedily, absorbing them to combat the numbness he so often felt. His depression had lasted so long, been so persistent, that even the climate of loss, of mourning felt more real than his own nothingness. It felt human. It felt like _something_.

Jasper felt a punch of grief, heard the quiet sobs of the woman in the front row. He opened his eyes, leaning forward to gaze at her profile. She was an older woman, her hair steel gray and the lines in her face deep. Her handkerchief was pressed to her mouth as she wept gently. A simple golden band on her ring finger flashed like a beacon in the dim light. Jasper let his eyes move to the casket again, finally taking a look at the man inside. The candlelight played over his own ring where his hands were folded across his chest. He was her husband, her lifelong mate.

Jasper's brow furrowed again as he singled out the woman's emotions. The grief was clear, the helplessness nearly overwhelming. But he felt love too, that strange rush of gripping warmth. It was that rare form of love, that subtle forever kind of love. He'd felt it before, had felt uneasy in the intimacy of it's flavor.

And he had longed for it.

Whatever unconscious parts of his humanity still remained ached for that devotion, for that curious kinship. He didn't understand it, not really. His experiences with Peter and Charlotte had shown him what love could look like, what it could be to have that constant other half.

But as much as some part of him longed for it, as much as he had observed it, had felt it, he couldn't believe that love was his path.

He was all monster. He was every vampire myth rolled into one terrifying package. He was beyond redemption.

Jasper settled his arms over the back of the pew in front of him, his eyes peering at the lifeless man in the casket. He had considered his own mortality more times than he could count. In the darkest of his days with Maria, he had considered giving up, had considered spreading his arms in battle, letting a newborn finish him off. But he had never followed through, _could_ never follow through.

What would it mean to die if no one cared?

Maria would have thrown him onto the pyre, regretting only the possible loss of future battles. And his life would have been a waste.

Some part of him knew that wasn't his path either. He had long felt a pull, an undefinable something else out there. He was supposed to be somewhere else, was supposed to be someone else and he would never find that place, would never meet that person if he gave in.

Jasper cut his gaze again to the weeping woman. He folded his hands over the top of the pew and rested his chin against his hands. He focused on those threads of love, that desperate ache. He wondered what that would be like. He wondered what it would be to care so much, to be cared for so much.

Would anyone ever care if he died? Would they make a box for his ashes and bury him in the earth? Would they visit? Would they lay flowers on his grave?

He nearly laughed at the thought. Who would ever mourn for him? Who would gather his ashes?

Peter and Charlotte would feel a passing sadness but no one else in the world would even know. There was simply no one _to_ care.

Jasper pushed his hands through his hair and soaked up what he could of the emotions. He breathed deeply as he stood, as he glanced again at the woman in the front row.

It was the strangest of habits.

It was the final grasp at humanity, the tiniest connection with the human world. As he left the church he felt something akin to gratitude for the weeping woman. He didn't know her story. He didn't know the dead man's story. But he knew she loved him. And Jasper could attest with the greatest of authority, that true love was a rare thing.

He had no way of knowing, of course, that his own love was so close, that she was waiting to envelop him in exactly the kind of love he thought wasn't a part of his path. He had no way of knowing that she would have seen this habit of his, that she would have watched it curiously, not quite understanding grief or loss. But she understood love.

He had no way of knowing that he would never again seek out a funeral to feel or that his sins would be forgiven again and again. He had no way of knowing that his capacity for love was enormous and that she would take his hand and show him.

No, as he stepped from the church in Philadelphia and glanced again at the sky, he only had one, seemingly insignificant, thought.

_It looks like rain._

* * *

Note: Thanks for sticking with me through these thirty. I will definitely be back for ten more. I'll consider the next ten when I get to forty. Fluff is coming up next.

Look for posting to continue to be spotty as I work to finish up my other fic. Also, I'm way behind on review replies but I promise to get all caught up this weekend. I had deadlines at work and friends visiting and a funeral to attend in my hometown (sad but it inspired this chapter. silver lining and all). So that's why updates have been way off their regular schedule lately.

Thanks for the recs and C2 adds and reviews and faves and alerts. Oh, and the award nominations! I was nominated for a couple of awards at the alicejasperff comm on LJ so thanks!

I need to say a special thanks to the anonymous reviewers who never get review replies from me. Lucy, a heartfelt thanks to you especially. I love to get your, often very insightful, reviews. Thank you.

- Brynna


	31. This Years Love

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to David Gray.

Synopsis: Alice and Jasper get to know each other better during their first year together.

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* * *

_"_This years love had better last. Heaven knows it's high time. And I've been waiting on my own too long, but when you hold me like you do it feels so right."__ - This Years Love by David Gray_

**This Years Love**

Alice thought her smile must be a mile wide. It felt as if her whole face could split apart, as if the sheer force of her happiness would be her undoing. Jasper was lying next to her on his stomach. His head was turned toward her, his pillow gripped tight under his chest. The bed was shaking with the force of his laughter.

It was a beautiful, dizzying sound. She'd watched him for so long, seen so many of his dark moments. But she'd never seen him laugh. In the weeks since she found him, she'd drawn him out, coaxed him back into the realm of good cheer, back into a climate of happiness. She watched as his smiles came easier, listened as his laughter became more free.

She stared at the ceiling of their hotel room, her smile somehow growing as his laughter subsided, as she felt his fingers trail across her bare stomach. "So?" he asked, intent upon continuing their game.

"I'm thinking." She rolled to face him, holding the blanket to her chest as she shifted. His hand moved to her hip. His thumb caressed her skin with mindless little strokes. "Best moment of your life?"

He smiled softly and tugged his pillow free to lay his head on it. "The diner," he said simply. She touched his face with gentle fingers. They traced the slight indention of his cheeks, the curve of his lips. "Best vision?" he asked, as he nipped at her fingers.

She pulled her hand away with a quick laugh as his teeth grazed her skin. "The first one. Do you have a favorite scar?"

He gave her a curious look and shook his head with a little grin. "No, but I'm guessing you do."

Alice smiled, her fingers trailing again to his face, to the scar across his chin. "This one."

"Why?"

"I can _just_ reach it when I stand on my toes." She leaned forward and kissed him there, her lips lingering as the hand on her hip trailed to her back, as it pulled her tighter against his body.

"Then it's my favorite too." He bent his head down to kiss her lightly, smiling as he felt her melt against him. "What happens when we run out of questions?" he whispered.

Alice shrugged and moved her head, resting it just next to his on his pillow. "We'll invent a different game."

Neither could say exactly how their game evolved. The day they met, they'd sat together, trading stories and questions, getting to know each other outside of their strange intense connection. There were no boundaries, no withheld answers. But there was laughter and sadness and honesty and knowledge. Eventually it became a way to pass the time, asking questions in turn. Every time they played, they felt just a bit closer, just a bit more entwined, like their lives were entirely shared.

"There's a lot of ground to cover," he said. Jasper smiled and she felt somehow euphoric as the room was filled with all of his joy. "Let's see, my turn." He paused, trying to think of one he hadn't yet asked. "Is there anything you don't like about yourself?"

"I wish I had longer hair," she said automatically.

"I like it."

She shrugged again. "It's just a reminder, you know? There was nothing fashionable about short hair when I would have been human. Why don't I have longer hair?"

He stared at her for long moments, his hand firm against her back. "Maybe you were a great stage actress and you had to wear wigs."

She laughed. "That's a good one."

"I've seen you lie. It's not a far stretch. Or maybe you danced in ballets. Do they wear wigs in ballets?"

"Your theories seem to have a great deal to do with wearing wigs," she said on another laugh.

His smile was soft again. "It would work if that was the only mystery."

Alice knew he was thinking of all those things they'd never know. Those pieces of her past that seemed to be forever locked away. "Yeah. Oh well," she sighed. "Who cares who I was. I'm happy now."

"Did you know we'd be like this?" he whispered, tightening his grip on her to explain his question.

"I had an idea." Her face melted into the lightest of smiles. "I'd hoped." She felt him shift to lie on his side, tangling their legs together as he pulled her closer. "It's my turn. What do you wish for?"

"What do I wish for?"

She nodded. "In your wildest dreams."

"I – I never thought I'd have this. You're so beyond what I dreamed."

She gave him a mischievous smile. "You already have me naked in bed, Jasper. You don't have to charm me anymore."

He laughed again, the sound exploding from his lips in a surprising little burst. "Fine. Other than you? I'd like to live in peace. I'd like to live _with you_ in peace." He paused, his eyes suddenly averted as if he was embarrassed. "There are things I'd like to study and learn. Maria wasn't – there wasn't time then."

Alice touched his chin lightly. "You're going to have more books than most people can read in a lifetime. You're going to have degrees." His eyes met hers. "Everything is different now. We have forever."

Jasper shook his head, looking dazed. His eyes were soft, his smile gentle. "What about you? Do you have big wishes?"

"I want to find the Cullens. I want a big closet and beautiful clothes." Her smile was wistful as she imagined those clothes. She felt his fingers tracing her spine and she met his gaze, allowed herself to give voice to what had long been the greatest of her desires. "And I want you to be happy."

His arm tightened around her. "I've never been this happy. Ever." He rolled onto his back, dragging her with him so that she was sprawled over him, their legs still entangled, their bodies molding together intimately. Alice kissed him lightly, teasing little kisses that had them both laughing again. "Ask me a fun one," he whispered.

She arched against him, grinning when he groaned. "Just one?"

"Definitely only one."

Alice leaned down and kissed the shell of his ear, grazing the lobe lightly with her teeth. "What do you wish for right now?" she whispered, her breath warm against his skin.

He rolled them over suddenly and she squealed with laughter as they tumbled, as the blankets were tangled between them. Jasper hovered over her, his arms bracing his weight as he smiled, as he bent to offer her a drugging kiss. His voice was a husky whisper when he spoke.

"Let me show you."

* * *

Note: I wanted to do something fun and fluffy and sexy. Something early in their relationship when everything was new. This was fun to write.

Thanks for all the reviews and faves and alerts and PMs. Also, the hit count has been going up and up so...welcome new readers!

Please review!

- Brynna


	32. Trouble

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter, opening quote, and vignette titles belong to Ray LaMontagne.

Synopsis: Vignettes from Maria's visit (as referenced in Midnight Sun). _(Note: This one is long)_

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_"_Oh, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble. Feels like every time I get back on my feet she come around and knock me down again."__ - Trouble by Ray LaMontagne_

**Trouble**

_1. Trouble. Trouble, trouble, trouble..._

Roslie's eyes narrowed as Esme welcomed the woman in. Rosalie inched closer to her sister, feeling her nervous tension. She tore her gaze from Maria and glanced down at Alice, watching as she stared breathlessly at her feet. She touched Alice's shoulder lightly, offering what strength she could give, knowing, without a doubt, that all of this worry was useless, that Jasper lived for Alice.

Alice had been like this since her vision, morose, nervous, maybe even a little hurt. Jasper had been distant while they waited, his own nerves and fears consuming him as the rest of the family's tense emotions suffocated him. Alice settled her hand over Rosalie's, squeezing gratefully, her eyes still averted as Esme offered Maria cursory greetings and made small-talk about her journey.

Rosalie watched in disbelief as Jasper took a step forward, one step closer to Maria. One step away from Alice. Rosalie hissed at him, a growling little sound of impatience. Jasper stopped and glanced back at her, meeting her gaze with solemn eyes. She raised her eyebrows. _Get it right, Jasper._

He glanced at Alice, his eyes softening as he finally took in her nerves, her insecurities. He offered Rosalie the slightest of smiles. Jasper turned back toward Maria but his hand fumbled behind him, brushing against Alice's hip until she removed her hand from Rosalie's and wove her fingers through his. He squeezed her hand and sighed, comforted by the simple gesture.

Rosalie let her hand fall as Alice lifted her chin and stepped to Jasper's side, offering him a shaky smile filled with apprehensive reassurances and tender love.

Jasper squared his shoulders. "Hello, Maria." Rosalie returned her gaze to the woman, again staring her down, daring her to hurt anyone in her family. "It's good to see you again," he lied.

Maria glanced from face to face, her eyebrow twitching when she met Rosalie's steely gaze. Emmett moved up behind Rosalie, his arm snaking around her waist. Edward stood next to Alice and Carlisle stood with Esme. They were a united front, Jasper's new army. _Go ahead_, Rosalie thought. _ Say the wrong thing. Do the wrong thing. Hurt him. Hurt her._

Rosalie glanced at Alice, proud to see her staring unwaveringly at Maria. "It is good to see you as well, Jasper. I'd heard you'd found a mate." She smiled sardonically at Jasper and Alice. "I had to meet the woman that could capture your affections." She gave Alice a once over, her gaze dragging over Alice's petite form. She shrugged with a noncommittal little sound. "Interesting," she muttered.

Emmett tightened his hold on Rosalie, whether from his own anger, or to ensure that she didn't lunge at Maria, she couldn't be sure. She opened her mouth to spat out a retort, entirely insulted that this woman would come into their house and insult _her_ sister. Edward cut his gaze over to Rosalie and shook his head once. She seethed, wrapping her fingers tightly around Emmett's in a white-knuckled grip.

Alice turned to smile at Rosalie, perhaps glimpsing her shifting decisions. She was all right. She could handle herself.

Alice turned back to Maria. "Funny," she said, though there was nothing humorous about her tone, "I'd wondered about the woman who couldn't capture his affections."

Maria's eyes flashed once and Rosalie chuckled slightly. _There you go, little sister._ Edward glanced over with a smile and a nod, their eyes meeting in their pride.

Carlisle stepped forward then, clearing his throat to make introductions and usher the tense group over to the living room. Rosalie watched as Jasper tugged Alice close, tucking her into his side, his eyes closing briefly and his lips curving at whatever emotions she was offering.

Rose let her own smile spread as she shot Maria another glare. _Go ahead_, she thought again. _Try. _

_There are no victims here._

.

_2. Worry. Worry, worry, worry..._

Edward's arm settled over Alice's shoulders as they moved into the woods for a quick hunting trip. Her thoughts were in turmoil but Edward was reluctant to bring up her worry. He'd always left Jasper and Alice's relationship alone, had always regarded it as something sacred, untouchable. Alice would undoubtedly laugh at that notion, would shrug and say that they just were. That they simply were what they were, sacred or ordinary or spiritual or whatever anyone wanted to called them. She was content for Alice and Jasper to just _be_ Alice and Jasper, the same as any other couple, special only to each other.

But he saw it differently. There was something different about them, something different about their connection. Everything was more private, more exclusive, unbelievably personal. Perhaps their connection was heightened by their powers. He wasn't sure. The romantic in him wanted to believe that they would be the same if they had met with no powers, if they were just two ordinary people.

He glanced over, watching her walk slowly through the undergrowth, the confidence she'd shown in Maria's presence banked as she let her guard down. Edward opened up his mind to her, listened again to her worry and fear. "Just say it," she mumbled.

"It's silly to worry."

"She's beautiful."

Edward shook his head, laughing lightly. "No she isn't." Alice glanced over, trying to decide if he was serious. He met her gaze. "The way Jasper looks at you..." He shook his head again. "The way he sees you. Maria is – " He chuckled again, wondering where this sudden insecurity had come from, wondering what real issue she was trying to hide. "She's nothing compared to that."

She smiled briefly, before letting it fade. "It's not really that. I'm not jealous or..." She shook her head. "It's just something else to focus on."

"I know."

She shrugged. "I can't help it. I'm not really worried about him leaving. That's not – " She pushed her fingers through her hair, let them trail across her forehead. "He's just started to – to realize that he isn't defined by his past." She shook her head. "What is this going to do to him?"

Edward smiled gently, pulling her to a stop. "You know, when you and Jasper first came to live with us, I couldn't quite wrap my head around the two of you. You were so cheerful and open and he was so..." he paused, finding the words. "Well, he was suffering then." He tightened his grip around her shoulders.

"But you get us now?"

He nodded with a little smile. "I've been in his thoughts. Even then, even when it was really bad, you were _everything_ to him. He trusts you to get him through. He doesn't expect it, barely believes it, but he trusts you, implicitly." His smile grew. "And I've been in your thoughts. You won't let him down."

She let out a sharp breath. "I just don't want anything to change."

He pulled her closer, shifting to wrap his arm tighter around her. "It won't. Surely you can look ahead and see that."

Alice shook her head. "Decisions change."

"Keep watching," his voice was steady, sure. "This future is set."

.

_3. Worry just will not seem to leave my mind alone..._

Esme fretted as the tension in her house rose to a fever pitch. Rosalie was nearly bursting with her anger, intent upon defending the family that had come to mean so much to her. Alice was trying to be strong for Jasper, trying to brush off her own worries and ignore Maria's frequent little verbal jabs. Emmett didn't seem to know what to do. More than once, Esme has seen his fist clenching, had seen him pulling Rosalie into some unseen corner of the house, getting them both away from the source of their anger. Edward seemed to be carefully monitoring everyone's thoughts, looking for the one that would cause the tinderbox to ignite.

And Esme fretted, unsure of who to comfort. She treated Maria like any other guest, even as she bristled at her comments toward Alice. Only Carlisle was calm, confident that everything would be fine, that Maria would move on and things would return to normal.

She watched as Alice gathered her resolve again and again, as she held Jasper's hand, grounding him to the life they had created together. And she hoped Carlisle was right.

She wasn't completely surprised when Jasper sought her out, when he settled down in the chair next to her, his elbow propped on the table, his cheek cradled in his hand. Aside from Alice, he had always been the most comfortable with her, the most soothed by her emotions.

She sat her pencil down, pushing away her sketchpad. "How are you holding up?"

He frowned. "Not well."

"Why?"

Jasper shook his head. "Rosalie's anger flares if I even glance at Maria."

Esme shrugged. "She's Rosalie. She loves Alice. She thinks so highly of you, of the way _you_ love Alice."

"I know, it's just that...everyone's so _angry_ or hurt or worried. I can't – I can't even work out how I'm feeling."

She worked to even her emotions, offering him an apologetic little smile. "We forget."

"I'm not going to hurt Alice," he mumbled, his fingers tracing patterns on the dining room table.

"I know that."

"Do you? I feel like everyone thinks I'm going to run off with Maria."

Esme chuckled lightly, realizing that they also forget that he could only feel their emotions, not the thoughts or reasoning behind them. "No, Jasper. No one thinks that. We're worried that you might get hurt, that Alice might get hurt. We're mad at Maria for interrupting your life, for taking shots at Alice."

He blew out a breath, thinking her words over. "Can I sit here with you for a few minutes?"

Esme squeezed his shoulder gently, letting her motherly feelings wash over him, watching as his eyes closed and his lips curved under the force of her warmth. "Of course, Jasper." Her hand trailed to rub at his back as if he were an upset child. "As long as you need."

.

_4. I've been saved by a woman..._

Jasper stepped onto the porch, watching as Maria squinted up at the sun, as she curled onto the step, looking smaller than he could ever remember. He stalked over, leaning against the rail. She twisted and glanced up at him. "You know, I came here thinking I could convince you to come back."

He stared off into the woods, not letting their gazes meet. "Why would you think that?"

She shrugged and he could taste the familiar flavor of her emotions. "I'd heard about your new lifestyle, about this coven. The Jasper I knew would never have been content with this." She waved her hand at the house and, maybe especially, the people inside.

Jasper shoved his hands in his pockets. "That's because you never really knew me."

She scoffed and he knew he touched a nerve, that he'd essentially called their connection, their alliance, a farce. "And _she_ does know you?"

"_Her_ name is Alice." His voice was sharp but his eyes softened as he remembered how Alice had gently suggested he go onto the porch, that he talk to Maria alone. She had touched his face lightly, completely trusting, shelving whatever insecurities she harbored as she made sure he was all right, that he was able to confront his past in his own way. His lips curved as he remembered her brief kiss and the rush of loving emotions. "And Alice knows me better than anyone."

"Really?" Maria asked, her eyebrows raised. "Does she know how many of our kind you've destroyed? Does she know how you got those scars? Does she know how you lived before you decided that humans were something _sacred_?" She spit the words out, her light accent increasing in her anger.

Jasper simply smiled. "Yes." His smile grew as he heard his own relief and amazement in that word. "She knows everything. All of it." He laughed slightly, feeling Maria's anger grow as his resolve hardened, as he felt more stunned, more sure of Alice's unwavering love. "I haven't kept anything from her. It doesn't matter to her."

Maria rolled her eyes. "And so she absolves your sins? Makes you a whole man by forcing you to waste your talent?"

Jasper laughed again. "You don't understand anything, Maria." He finally met her eyes. "She'd come with me anywhere. Even into battle with you. And I will never lead her there." He shook his head, laughing again as it all clicked in his own mind. "She absolves my sins by loving me anyway. She makes me a whole man by letting me choose my path."

Maria shook her head, a sneer on her face. "What a waste," she hissed. "You were one of the most feared warriors in the South."

He shrugged. "And here I am a man with a wife and a family and a house and a car."

"You are not a human," she spat, "you are not normal."

"No," he agreed. "No. But I'm not a monster either." He leaned heavily against the porch railing, his eyes softening again as he thought about all the times Alice had tried to tell him that, had tried to prove it to him. For once, he believed it. The words passed over his lips effortlessly, a simple truth that Alice had given him. He tested them out once more. "I'm not a monster," he muttered. He smiled again and started to turn, anxious now to be with Alice again. "I'll never join you," he said, his hand braced on the door. "I'll never go back to that life."

.

_5. I said I love her..._

Alice laid her book down as Jasper strode into their room. He shut the door behind him, his gaze trailing over to her. His look was intense, piercing, boring into her as if he was looking for something, as if he was searching the depth of her eyes for some change, for something different than he had seen an hour earlier.

She sat the book down and twisted to lower her legs from the bed. She smiled slightly, the same smile as she always gave him. No matter what else could change, her love for him was steadfast, unchanging.

He rushed over and she stood to meet him, barely finding her feet before his lips crashed down to hers. Jasper smiled against her lips, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close. "I'm sorry you worried," he whispered. "I'm sorry I worried you."

She shook her head. "That's my job," she breathed, "worrying for you." Her hands rose of their own volition, her fingers touching his face, tracing the scars that she'd always loved.

"There was no need." He pressed his forehead to hers. "I won't live without you. This is the life I choose."

Alice smiled softly, touching her lips to his again. "I take it your conversation went well."

He pulled away, his brow furrowed. "You didn't look?"

She shook her head. "I don't – I wanted you to have time to figure things out." She smiled. "You didn't need me to interfere."

"There was nothing to figure out." He turned and settled onto the bed, pulling her down on his lap. His mind raced to find the right words for her. He wished he was better at flowery speeches, at the poetry that she had never asked for. He settled instead for the simple honesty that had always been a hallmark of their relationship. "Maria – she means nothing to me. Not compared to you. My past isn't – There is nothing there for me. If I had known what was coming, I would have never stayed with her. I would have never fought. I would have run to Philadelphia and waited for the diner to be built. And then I would have sat there, waiting for you." His lips skimmed across her brow. "For this."

She smiled, feeling his breath against her skin. Alice closed her eyes. "I'm so in love with you," she whispered simply, her emotions spilling out with those words.

Alice felt his lips curve against her forehead. "I know." There was a hint of elation, of breathless disbelief in his voice.

She opened her eyes. "You sound surprised."

"Still surprised that you're mine, that this is my life."

She touched his chin, tracing the scar there again and again. Then, her fingers stilled as the vision slammed into her. She groaned softly as their eyes met. "We have to pack. Maria's hunting."

Jasper's eyes widened as she slid off his lap. "In town?"

Alice nodded, searching the future. "You should go find her. Take Carlisle. I'll tell Esme."

His face hardened, his jaw clenching in his anger. "Tell Esme that I'm sorry. I'll make sure Maria stays away from now on."

"All right." She touched his arm as he started to rush from the room. She said nothing, simply staring into his eyes, saying everything with her steady gaze and warm emotions and squeezing fingers. He smiled, understanding her, touching her cheek with light fingers.

They were all right. They were better than all right. As Edward had imagined, they just were. They were content to be Alice and Jasper, content to be together, content with their flaws and pasts and memories, content with their shared life and certain future together.

And no one, not Maria or anyone else, could ever change that.

* * *

Note: Maria's visit is easily the most suggested chapter idea. I thought I'd finally sit down and write it since this chapter will very likely push this story over 1000 reviews. I actually had this written on Friday but I was celebrating my birthday this weekend and had no internet. I might revisit the Maria visit in a future chapter from her point of view. The next couple of weeks are way less busy than the last few have been so posts should return to a more normal schedule.

Thanks for all the reviews. That last chapter was one of the most reviewed ever. I really loved writing that one so I am thrilled that you guys liked it. Thanks also for the faves and alerts and PMs. You guys make this story so fun. Oh, and if you have requested that I read and review your fic, I will. I haven't had much reading time lately. I have all the fics bookmarked and will go through them as soon as I start posting the other story.

Now, please review!

- Brynna


	33. To Make You Feel My Love

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Garth Brooks.

Synopsis: The genesis of a non-traditional Valentine's Day tradition. (_suggested by octobergrace_)

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_"_There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do. Go to the ends of the earth for you. Make you happy, make your dreams come true, to make you feel my love ."__ - To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks_

**To Make You Feel My Love**

_February 13, 1949_

Jasper understood Alice's desire for all things human. He understood that she was trying to reclaim some of the humanity that she couldn't remember. He understood that she needed to connect to that girl she once was, that it was a void that was more painful than she would admit.

Jasper did not understand Valentine's Day. He did not understand why humans tried to muster up extra love and ardor because the calendar told them to. He didn't understand the stress or nerves that so often went with the holiday. He didn't understand why some people were left out entirely, why depression seemed to suffocate him every year on the fourteenth, on a day that should be filled with love.

But the things he understood about Alice outweighed all the things he didn't understand about Valentine's Day. His love for her far outweighed his distaste for the day.

He understood a bit of the stress he felt from the humans as he tried to come up with some kind of a plan, with some way to differentiate the one day from all the rest. How could he possibly celebrate a love that they celebrated every day, over and over again, in a thousand little ways? How could any of it ever be enough? All the typical Valentine's traditions weren't right for them. A date at the dance hall or theatre would be agony for him. Chocolates or a fancy dinner were out of the question.

He decided to start with a card.

Jasper stared at the dizzying array of red and pink embossed cards, unable to shake the feeling that this was all really stupid. He understood that humans needed the mementos. That their memories were fleeting and their lives were short. They marked the years with keepsakes, desperately clinging to triggers that might ignite fading memories and feelings long-forgotten.

He and Alice were perfectly mated immortals. They were destined to love each other forever with perfect memories and steadfast emotions.

But, he would give her anything, would do anything for her. On any day. And today, apparently, it was a card.

He glanced over at the clerk and swallowed, happy that the stationary store was nearly empty in the hour before closing. Jasper extended his hand, touching the cut-out hearts and foil lettering and funny little cartoon characters. He chose blindly, pulling a random card from the display.

"Be Mine!" the red letters read. Jasper rolled his eyes and shoved the card back into its little pocket. Alice already was his, an overly enthusiastic card wasn't going to make that any more true.

He grabbed another. "Be My Valentine," it said. His brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of the sentiment. He'd read a book about Saints once and of the Saints named Valentine, he couldn't think of a single one that he'd want Alice to be more like. He knew he was looking at this all too literally but it just seemed so ridiculous.

He heard the bells on the glass door tinkling as another customer entered the little store. The man exchanged polite pleasantries with the clerk and then stepped close to Jasper, his own eyes affixed on the display. Jasper felt a punch of annoyance emanating from the man as his gaze raked over the cards.

Jasper glanced over, putting the "Be My Valentine" card back in its place. The other customer looked over with a slight smile and Jasper couldn't help but feel a strange kinship with the human.

"Does your girl make as big a deal out of all this as mine does?" the human asked, the little smile still in place.

"I don't know," Jasper said honestly. "This is our first one."

The man blew out a breath. "Good luck," he mumbled, his voice dripping with pity for Jasper's apparent misfortune.

Jasper gave a little half smile and swallowed again. His eyes again searched for something that might make some sense. He pushed at his hair, grinning suddenly as he remembered Alice that morning, her face a mask of annoyance as she came from their hotel bathroom, her hair damp from her shower. She'd held his socks up in front of her, her eyebrows raised as he grinned sheepishly. "How have you had clean socks for the last century?"

His fingers trailed over the cards as he laughed to himself. What he needed was a card that said "Thank you for picking up my socks every day for the last eight months." That at least made sense. It was something true, something he might not say enough.

The human suddenly shifted, stepping a bit closer, just a half a step but suddenly Jasper could smell the tantalizing smell of the man's blood. His mirth faded entirely as he felt the ache of his thirst, the pain of his intense want. Jasper glanced over again, taking a deliberate step away. He grabbed a card, not bothering to read the message and darted toward the clerk.

He paid with a trembling hand and fled out onto the sidewalk, darting back toward their hotel, the forgotten card gripped tightly in his hand as he breathed the fresh air in deeply. He felt better as he walked, happy to have completed his task.

Jasper finally looked at the card, groaning when he saw the rosy cheeked little cherubs on the front. At least the card simply said "Happy Valentine's Day." He could live with that. It was the day in question and he did want her to be happy.

He strolled through the halls of the hotel, letting his fingers trail along the beige walls as he walked, ignoring the varying emotions spilling from the rooms. He opened their door to find a very amused Alice sitting on the bed, waiting for him.

Jasper felt the rush of pure love filling the room, mingling with her gentle humor. "So Valentine's Day is not our holiday," she said on a light laugh.

He groaned, dropping the card on the desk and crawling to settle next to her on the bed. "You saw?"

She nodded, smiling as he wrapped his arm around her. She reached up with cool fingers, brushing his hair from his eyes.

Jasper grasped her hand, pressing a kiss to her fingertips. "Anniversaries, I understand. Birthdays, truly meaningful days, those I get. This one just doesn't feel right. Not for us." His brow furrowed. "Were you hoping we'd make a big production?"

The corner of her mouth pulled up in a soft smile. Her golden eyes searched his face. "I think," she said thoughtfully, "that Valentine's Day wasn't made for a seer and empath." She kissed his chin lightly as he tilted his head, waiting for her to continue. "I see your love for me in every decision you make." She laughed, perhaps thinking of some of the decisions he'd tried to make as the days moved ever closer to the fourteenth.

She smiled at him as her laughter subsided and he simply stared, wondering if it was possible to love her any more. "So Valentine's Day is not our holiday?" he asked.

"Let's leave this one for the humans." Alice laughed lightly again, her thoughts shifting. "Did you really buy me a card with creepy little children on it?"

He gave her a look of mock annoyance. "Cherubs."

Alice laughed fully at the defensive tone in his voice. "Can I still have it?"

Jasper leaned over and kissed her. "Tomorrow.

"Are you going to love me differently tomorrow?"

His smile was slow to spread as he heard the teasing in her voice. "The calendar says I should."

She threaded their fingers together intimately, the strands of her love and warmth and humor and cheer wrapping around him like a warm blanket, keeping his grin firmly in place. "The calendar says a lot of things that don't apply to us."

Jasper laughed. "Then how about I love you the same way. Everyday."

.

_February 14, 2009_

Alice hummed to herself as she towelled her hair dry. She stooped to pick up Jasper's socks as she started for their bedroom, tossing them in the hamper as she went, entirely unaware of her actions. After all these years, she'd be more surprised if his socks were where they were supposed to be.

She stepped into the bedroom, still humming as her eyes trailed to the bed. She grinned as she saw the little pink envelope on her pillow. She laid her towel on the bed and moved to the closet. She stood on her toes and stretched her arms for the moderately high shelf. She pushed aside blankets and out of season clothes and other boxes until her fingers brushed against the box she was looking for.

Alice carried it over to the bed, and pried off the lid. She didn't bother to rifle through the contents or give the box anymore than a single, fleeting glance.

She picked up the card from the bed, the only acknowledgement that either would give that this day was any different than any other. She slid her finger along the seam of the envelope and pulled the card free. She ignored the pre-written message, knowing he had chosen it blindly, and opened the card, grinning as she saw the familiar looping hand writing.

On the inside of the card, he had written his own message and even though she knew what it said, she read the words carefully, her smile growing as she closed the card, as she placed it in the box, on top of the one from 2008 and 2007 and 2006.

And on the very bottom was the card with the cherubs, the first he'd purchased, the one that she had teased him about on sight. On top of that card was the one with the little lovebirds that had shown up on Valentine's Day in 1950 and on top of that was the foil heart from 1951.

She didn't keep the cards to remind her of past Valentine's Days. She didn't keep them to regain some feeling or memory or moment. She kept them because every year, even though it wasn't their holiday, he made the trek to the store and bought a random card and wrote a message just for her.

Alice closed the box and carried it back to the closet, standing on her toes to shove it back into place. She would take it down again in a year when a new card would join the others. She didn't have to read the old cards to know what was written in them and she didn't have to look ahead to see what would be written in the next one.

Sixty times, he had written the same message, and sixty times he had reminded her why they didn't need a calendar to prompt them to show their love. Inside the cherub card and the lovebirds and the foil heart and the Mickey Mouse and the robots holding hands and the cartoon cowboy were the exact same words:

_I love you today, too._

* * *

Note: Thanks to octobergrace for requesting a Valentine's Day fic way back at like...Christmas.

So good news. The novel-length fic is nearly ready to be posted. For those of you that have been asking, chapter one will go up on Monday, February 16th. I'll have more details (like a title) in chapter 34 of this fic on Sunday.

Thanks to everyone for the reviews and C2 adds and PMs and alerts and faves and recs. I cannot believe this story has over 1000 reviews now. You guys are amazing.

Now, please review!

- Brynna


	34. Look At Me

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Keri Noble.

Synopsis: A closer look at Alice's inner psyche and the ways in which Jasper deals with her nuances. (_Note: another different one._)

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_"_Look at me. Look into my eyes. Tell me do you see that I am always by your side? Or has the world got you down on your knees? Come to me."__ - Look at Me by Keri Noble_

**Look at Me**

Sometimes she feels like her mind is fragile.

It is a strange thing to have a perfect mind that is still broken. She wonders, even after learning of the asylum, what stole her memory. Did she go mad? Was it the drugs and treatments? She wonders if she is a ticking clock. She wonders if even a perfect brain can crack. She wonders if her memories could again spill out, could be forever lost.

Alice says her name with care on occasion. It always makes him smile painfully, always twists his still heart. It's as if she's committing her name to some extra memory, to some corner that maybe won't get lost next time. Jasper takes her hand on those occasions and kisses her knuckles and recites her entire name carefully, each symbol enunciated.

And then she whispers his name in turn, making it equal with her own. She is determined to always remember the both of them, to have some insurance, some deal with the bits of the future that aren't hers to see.

He indulges her. He says her name often, whispers his love for her, holds her hand, goes blindly where she goes. But still she wonders if it is enough.

When Bella was pregnant and Alice's head began to ache, she feared that the moment had come, that the cracks were appearing. She was reminded then of the fragility of her mind, that not all was right. She was a vampire with a headache and it was isolating and frightening. So she said her name and his name again and again, willing the cracks to mend, willing her mind to shore up and weather the storm. And it did.

But she was left with a new memory to add to the others. She remembers the headaches and she remembers the precarious nature of her mind. And she worries.

"Jasper Whitlock," she whispers as she touches his brow. She closes her eyes, filing the moment away with the countless others.

He understands. He remains quiet, watching as she struggles with that part of herself that is entirely inaccessible. He watches as she runs headlong into the wall of locked memories. He watches as she smiles through it, as she holds in her fear. But he knows it's there.

So he indulges her.

Sometimes she grows tired of dancing.

Her feet stick. It is the one truth she will never voice, not even to Jasper. Maybe especially not to Jasper. Sometimes, she holds his hand as he wades and she can feel her palm slipping, can feel herself struggling with her own thirst. But she smiles and dances because he needs it so desperately. He needs to cling to the belief that she is steadfast in her resolve, that she will see him through his torture.

But she is no more or less vampire than he is and she has days when animals seem inadequate, days when humans smell especially good. She tries to keep it from him and he indulges her in her attempts. He says nothing even as he can feel the threads of wild fear, the weakening of her willpower. So he grasps her hand tighter and they wade together.

And it's on those days that she thinks she knows why she was given a vision of him. He protects her humanity while searching for his own. He saves her by simply being her partner, by picking up the slack and never letting her feel any less than perfect. It is nearly seamless enough that she can believe it.

Nearly.

She still feels it and she still won't give it voice. To admit her own shortcomings would be like admitting that he may never get over his own pain. And she refuses to let that thought take hold, refuses to ever let that become a possibility. She won't say it. She can't say it. Because she loves him too much.

So he indulges her.

Sometimes she watches him.

Alice likes to lay on her stomach when he's reading. She likes to fold her hands together and rest her chin there. She likes to tap her toes on the bed. And she likes to watch him.

His lips move when he reads, just a twitch, just tiny little movements that keep her riveted. His golden eyes dart over the words and his nimble fingers turn the pages with care. He is beautiful to her and never more so than when he is sating his quest for knowledge.

It is one of the things that she strives to give him. She embraces his desire to learn and works to make sure that he has the tools. She debates with him and listens as he reads aloud and takes interest in whatever he is studying and she lets him soar. Because nothing, in her whole life, has made her happier than watching his eyes light up, than watching him realize where his true talents lie.

Alice loves the way he ponders the big philosophical questions. He thinks about them and discusses them and mulls them over with the tenacity of a man that just might live long enough to discover the answers. Immortals don't have to stand on the shoulders of giants. When it comes to the questions that mortal men do not have time to answer, they are the giants.

He indulges her. He lets her watch him without complaint. Sometimes he reaches over and lays his hand on her back, a gesture of thanks for bringing him into this world where they both can be exactly who and what they are. He laid down his arms and picked up a book and found his peace.

She traces the curve of his brow with her eyes. She smiles at the unruly hair that falls over his eyebrows. She memorizes scars and the placement of his cheekbones and those perfect lips and that strong chin. And she sighs with happiness.

When she draws him, she often draws him reading, draws him on their bed, his hair tousled and a book on his upturned knee. It makes her happy. It fills her with a unique kind of joy.

So he indulges her.

Sometimes she likes to shop.

She's never explained the compulsion to anyone but Jasper. She could never put into words what it was like to wake with nothing, to have to steal to get by. She could never explain what it was to not even have a name or a memory to call her own.

But Jasper could feel it. And so she explained that it was an obsession born from that void. When she shops, the things are hers. Indisputably. And at one time, in those first years, all she had to call her own were the tangible things she purchased and her intangible visions.

Then she had Jasper and the Cullens, but her expensive little habit remained. She lets everyone else think it a part of her carefree nature, that there is nothing behind it but a girly desire for pretty clothes. And that's become a part of it, but so much of it is simply about control. Jasper indulges her. He follows her from shop to shop, wears whatever she buys him, watches as she tries on countless outfits. The pieces of her mind that still remember that fear, that loneliness, need those things.

Jasper noticed, nearly immediately, that she sometimes wrote her name on the tags of her shirts or on some unseen seam in her coats. She only did it when she was going out without him and he never asked her about it. But he understood.

Jasper read her a story once about women who survived the Holocaust, how it was a common thing for them to never again leave the house without a crust of bread stashed in their hand bag.

That's what shopping is to her. It is her crust of bread. It is her assurance that if her memory ever again flees, if all of the whisperings of her name and his had no effect, the things she will be wearing will be hers and hers alone. Her name will be on the tag and it would be _something_.

So he indulges her.

Sometimes she needs time alone.

She is mostly cheerful. Her cheer is usually bolstered by people. She embraces crowds and noise and new faces. She likes jokes and stories and experiences. She collects friends in the way that most vampires cannot and she breeds trust with a deft hand and unwavering loyalty.

But she revels in her solitary moments. Quiet with Jasper or quiet alone, she doesn't care. But there are moments when she needs the time to be the Alice that likes to read and draw and write her name on her tags and watch him learn. There are times when she needs to whisper his name and hers and commit them to memories that seem fleeting. There are times when she needs to be away from Edward's prying mind or Esme's knowing eyes.

Jasper indulges her. He feels the shift in her emotions, tastes that subtle flavor. And he knows. He whisks her away to their cabin and sits with her in their silence. He watches her read or think or draw. Sometimes he leaves her alone, heading Rosalie off at the pass, wrestling with Edward and Emmett to distract them, feeding excuses to Bella, chatting with Esme and Carlisle.

And for minutes, for hours, she slips away. She slips into the darkest recesses of her mind. She runs up against that wall of broken memories. She whispers her name. She loses herself in her sketchpad.

After, she is happy. She is whole again and she is strong enough for him to drink of her emotions. She is strong enough for him to grasp her hand and trust her to dance.

So he indulges her.

Sometimes she thanks him.

There are moments when she holds him close, when she whispers her thanks into his ear for no reason. There are moments when she breathes it into the skin of his shoulder, when she spells it out with cool fingers on his back. She never explains her thanks and he knows her well enough to never ask.

Even she doesn't always know. Is she thanking him for saving her? Is she thanking him for the steadfast love? Is she thanking him for indulging her more trying impulses?

She doesn't know. But still, the words fall from her lips. She presses her face into his neck and squeezes her eyes tight. Her lips move of their own accord and he knows the shape they're making. He knows the words they are spelling out. And he holds her tighter.

They have always been about give and take. There has always been a balance. Most might only see the ways in which she saves him but she knows there is a much greater equality than anyone can guess. So she offers him her thanks. He doesn't want it but he indulges her.

When he feels it or hears it, he lets his emotions touch her. He doesn't change hers but he lets her feel. He shows her that there are no checks and balances, that they save each other and love each other every day in ways both big and small. They are both damaged and they are both fixed by loving each other.

But still she whispers it and still he pulls her closer. And together they stand in the knowledge that without him to thank and her to hold, they would each be lost. They would each be adrift and aimless. They would each be half of themselves, never fixed, never whole.

So she thanks him.

And he indulges her.

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Note: This is kind of a callback to chapter 13 (The Luckiest). But really, I was just looking to do something about Alice's darker side.

So the new story is called "Some Rise By Sin" and chapter one will be up tomorrow after I get home from work. It is a post-BD A/J and I hope you all enjoy it. I will be posting that fic every Monday and Thursday so this story will be shifting around a little bit. Anyway, if you like long fics, come take a look. If you don't, well...this one will still be here.

Thanks for all the reviews on the last one! Glad you guys liked it.

Now, please review!

- Brynna


	35. At This Point In My Life

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Tracy Chapman.

Synopsis: Jasper and Alice dance through the years. Five vignettes.

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"_If you can believe in this heart of mine, if you can give it a try, then I'll reach inside and find and give you all the sweetness that I have."__ - At This Point in My Life by Tracy Chapman_

**At This Point In My Life**

_One: The first of the firsts_

He laid next to her on the hill, his head resting on his arm as he gazed at the stars in the clear sky. The night air was filled with the cottony tufts from dancing dandelions and lazy lightning bugs flying in slow circles.

Music from the nearby dance hall was filtering out, providing a soundtrack for their peaceful night. Jasper smiled, unable to stop himself as he took in all the simple pleasures, as he found joy in such unexpected places.

He turned his head, letting his cheek rest on his elbow. His gaze met Alice's gentle smile and he couldn't help but wonder how long she had been watching him. The differences between them were so obvious sometimes. He had missed out on simple stillness, on trusting someone enough to turn his eyes to the stars. And she had missed out on companionship, on knowing that she had a friend and lover and champion.

"You look happy," she said.

His smile widened as he drank her in, as he tried to remember back a few weeks, back to what life was like before her. "You do too."

The song changed and Jasper felt her emotions swell, watched her smile grow and her eyes close as the familiar song caused a visceral reaction.

"Let's dance," he said impulsively, standing easily and pulling her to her feet in a fluid motion. She laughed, startled by his sudden decision.

"I've never seen you dance," she said with a grin, her hands gripping his shirt as his arms wrapped around her.

Jasper paused, his smile thoughtful. "I don't know that I have. Not since I was human."

She pulled away slightly, tugging on his elbow to slide his hand up her back. She pulled his other arm free, folding their hands together. "I'll lead this one." She stepped forward and he retreated automatically, finding the rhythm easily, his grace and reflexes taking over where his knowledge ended. They giggled as they worked to figure it out, as they both realized they were experiencing another first together.

The fireflies illuminated their shuffling spins, giving an ethereal glow to the night, making the scene dream-like as they twirled together. He gained confidence, pulling her closer and shifting course, leading now as she laughed at the sudden change in direction.

"You know," she whispered as their footing became more sure, as their every move became more and more graceful, "now that I know you can, I'm going to make you dance with me every time I hear music."

He chuckled softly. "Oh yeah?"

She nodded. "An eternity of waltzes."

He smiled widely, delighted at the thought of doing anything with her for an eternity. "Do you even think you're still going to want to dance with me in sixty years?"

Alice leaned her cheek against his chest, forsaking form to hold him close. "Oh, I'm sure of it."

He kissed the top of her head. "Well, I know better than to bet against you."

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_Two: A dance and a name_

Their wedding had been a small affair, intimate and personal, only the people they loved most present for the ceremony. They'd foregone a reception, fleeing away to their cabin, thrilled to celebrate their nuptials in private.

He was holding her close, swaying to the music from the record player, laughing with her as they joked lightly, as they discussed their day.

"Do you feel different now that you're a Whitlock?"

Her brow furrowed. "I don't know..." the furrow in her brow deepened. "I suddenly feel like I know how to ride a horse."

He laughed as she grinned mischievously. "Funny," he twirled her under his arm and tugged her close again. "You didn't even mention how you can rope steer."

She raised an eyebrow. "Do _you_ know how to rope steer?"

"No. But I haven't ridden a horse in over a century either."

"Well, can I drop my g's and say 'y'all' now?"

He laughed again but gripped her tighter, slowing their shuffling until they stopped entirely. He cupped her chin as the weight of the day caught up with him. "I know you're Cullen in public but...I'm so happy to give you my name."

She grinned softly, her fingers wrapping around his. How could she possibly explain what it meant to have a name that she was sure of? She knew that someday she could learn that Alice wasn't really her first name, that there was some unknown surname to tack onto that foreign first name. She knew that being the middle Cullen child, that being Mrs. Whitlock didn't give her an identity but they were _her_ names. Whitlock was truly, legally her last name. How could she explain what it had been like to be nameless, to not even have that tiny comfort, that basic reassurance?

She didn't try. Instead, she turned her face to kiss his hand. "You don't know what it means to me to have your name."

He brushed her hair off her face and kissed her forehead lightly. "Well, Mrs. Whitlock," he said as his hands slid to her back, "we've done the ceremony and the first dance. There's no cake or wine so...honeymoon time?"

He wagged his eyebrows comically, his grin wide and boyish. She laughed in a little burst before gripping his hand and twirling under his arm to finish the aborted dance. She stepped close, her hands braced on his chest, her eyes twinkling with the excitement of the day. "Honeymoon time."

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_Three: Putting pain aside_

He could think of places he'd rather be.

Jasper felt lost in the sea of high school students. He felt the burn of thirst, the deep pain of his unnatural choice. But for Alice, he was swallowing it down, was working to pretend he was all right.

She had been so excited for her first school formal, had been desperate to experience every part of the tradition. He wasn't in school yet but he'd agreed to be her mysterious older date, had laughed when she talked about feeding the rumor mill. He'd gone tux shopping with Emmett and Carlisle, had picked out a corsage to match her dress.

And he'd been the perfect date, waiting at the bottom of the stairs, sliding on the corsage, complimenting her dress, and posing for pictures. It was only once they got to the dance that he'd started to panic, had started to realize that he wasn't quite ready for crowds.

Alice was holding his hand with both of hers, was letting off wave after wave of excitement and worry. And he was afraid to move, was still as a statue on the edge of the dance floor. He felt certain that if he took a step, he would lunge, would ruin everything.

"Maybe we could dance," Alice said tentatively, her excitement still clear even through her concern.

Jasper let out a little strangled noise, working for control. He felt Alice move around to stand in front of him. She stood taller than normal on her delicate little healed shoes but still she rose to her toes. "Look at me," she whispered. He opened his eyes obediently, meeting her determined gaze. "You're fine. I'm watching and you're fine." His expression must have been tortured because her own expression fell briefly, just before she could plaster on a reassuring smile. "We can leave," she said.

He shook his head once, swallowing down the burn, focusing instead on her, on his desire to make her happy. He mustered up a shaky smile. "No. Look at you." He touched her face lightly. "All dressed up and so beautiful." He swallowed again. "I'm fine."

She smiled at his effort. "One dance will be enough. Can we try one?"

He felt her joy swell, felt her emotions soar, felt just how much the night meant to her. One dance? What did his discomfort matter when weighed against her happiness? In answer to her question, he gripped her waist and spun her onto the dance floor.

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_Four: When in Rome_

He liked to watch her, to catch her in her quiet moments, to observe those rare times when she was pensive. She was leaning against a weathered post, her face tilted up toward the fairy lights. The light swept along the curves of her face, accentuating the perfection of her features. Her mouth was turned up in the lightest of smiles but her eyes were gazing at nothing. She was lost in thought, waiting for him.

The air around her shimmered with the heat and some part of him remembered that he should be thankful for his cold body. He didn't remember much from his human life but he did remember that Texas was nearly unbearably hot.

Alice met his gaze, grinning beautifully as she smoothed her hands over her pale yellow sun dress. He started toward her, feeling that familiar, inexorable tug.

The band on the makeshift stage started playing George Strait and the street was suddenly filled with dancers. Alice watched with a wide smile, delighted to see the couples moving together with intricate moves thrown into their shuffling two-step.

Jasper leaned next to her, his elbow braced against the side of the pole, a foot above her head. "Look at him," Alice said with a nod toward one of the dancers. "He hasn't spilled a drop of his beer." Jasper followed her gaze, laughing with her as the man managed to maneuver his long neck and his partner with equal ease.

"Impressive," he muttered.

Alice glanced over. "How are you?"

He offered her a simple smile, knowing what she was asking. "There's no wind." The smell was kept to a minimum when the wind was still. And he had decades of abstaining under his belt, decades of school, decades of controlling himself in crowds. It still wasn't easy, but it was easier. He could breathe now, could focus on nothing but being with her.

"I told you there wouldn't be." Her eyes trailed to again to the dancers. "Let's dance."

"We don't know this one."

She raised an eyebrow. "We are the Whitlocks. It's called the _Texas_ two-step. Shouldn't it come natural?"

"Except that neither of us has ever even seen it until today."

She waved her hand dismissively, muttering something about being quick learners before she tugged him out onto the street.

It was a fast dance but the steps came easily. He led, playfully trying out some of the moves they'd seen. They blended in with the crowd, laughing as they missed steps, as their feet bumped and they dropped their form.

It didn't matter. In a crowd of humans, in a sea of beating hearts, they were having _fun_.

.

_Five: The kid insists_

Alice heard giggles and music mingling as she started down the stairs. Nessie's high-pitched laughter mixed with Jasper's deep chuckles.

"Hold my hands tight," Alice heard him say.

"Don't let me fall, Uncle Jazz!" she squealed.

"I've got you," he said calmly

Alice's brow furrowed as she searched for a quick vision of their play, confused by what she was hearing. She smiled involuntarily as she heard Nessie's breathless laughter. Alice moved into the den, leaning against the door frame, melting at the scene before her.

Jasper had moved back all the furniture and was twirling around the room. Nessie was standing on his feet, her hands held tightly in his as they waltzed together. He held her tight, keeping her steady, never letting her fall.

Alice had never considered herself maternal. Before Nessie, she had never spent any time in the presence of children, had never considered her inability to have children with more than a passing thought. Even when she looked at Renesmee, she didn't feel that tug that she could see in Rosalie and Esme. She didn't understand the extreme depths of instant, unconditional emotion that Bella felt from the first flutter of movement.

But when she watched Jasper with Nessie, she felt something deep inside, some sense of true want. It wasn't the want to be a mother, rather it was a true desire to give him a child, to make him a father. But she knew better than to dwell on things she couldn't have. She knew that was a future that simply was never to be.

She grinned as Nessie spotted her as let out a shrill, "Aunt Alice!"

Jasper danced by with Nessie on his toes, still giggling with true delight. Alice simply loved watching them together. She had discovered whole new facets of Jasper through Renesmee, had watched him crumble in the face of her absolute trust, had watched him rediscover some of his own innocence in the climate of her joyous, uncomplicated love.

Alice laughed and clapped as Jasper slowed and let go of Nessie's hands, hooking his fingers under her arms to swing her around in wide circles. Nessie squealed, loving every minute of the thrilling dizziness. The music ended and Jasper settled her on her feet, giving her one final twirl.

Nessie clapped, jumping up and down. Her patent leather Mary Janes thudded on the wood floor. "Dance with Aunt Alice now!"

Jasper laughed lightly, pushing at his hair and raising his eyebrows at Alice. "The kid wants us to dance, darlin'."

She smiled, pushing herself from the door frame and crossing to him in easy steps. He looked so handsome, all rumpled from play, his eyes sparkling with new-found mischief and childish excitement. "If the kid insists," she whispered, their eyes locking as the song switched, as his arm slid around her waist, as her hand settled on his shoulder. They locked their free hands together and they were off, dancing around the room with graceful steps.

How many times had they danced like this? How many times had he held her and led confidently? How had they so learned each other's rhythm?

She laughed as he dipped her with a flourish, as he used the opportunity to plant a light kiss on the corner of her mouth. When they were again spinning around the room, she whispered softly, "Why don't I get to stand on your feet?"

He grinned the crooked little grin that she so adored. "Because you're the better dancer."

"I don't know if that's true. I can't dance alone."

"She can," he said with a nod toward Nessie. Alice laughed as Nessie pirouetted around the room, lost in her own ballet.

"Let me rephrase that," Alice said, stilling their dancing and rising to her toes. She kissed the scar on his chin lightly. "I don't want to dance alone."

He smiled. "So do you think you'll still want to dance with me in sixty more years?"

She imagined fireflies and dandelions and how she felt dancing with him for the first time. "Oh," she said, her smile unfurling slowly, "I'm sure of it."

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Note: Ever since I went to my hometown on the Texas Gulf Coast and was reminded of weekly street dances, I've been thinking about writing this one. Thought some nice fluff would be good.

Sorry about the little hiatus. I've been swamped. I'm also behind on PMs and review replies and such but I will try to catch up sometime today. Until my schedule gets a little lighter, I'm going to be scaling back the review replies in favor of increasing my writing time. If you ask a question or suggest an idea or song, I'll reply but otherwise, just know that I so SO appreciate the feedback.

Oh and for those of you that were interested, there are now four chapters up of my novel-length A/J, Some Rise By Sin. It's a little dark right now but it will get lighter. Check it out.

Please review!

- Brynna


	36. Brand New Day

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Van Morrison.

Synopsis: Esme and Jasper begin their friendship. (Takes place soon after chapter 16 of this story)

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_"_When all the dark clouds roll away and the sun begins to shine, I see my freedom from across the way and it comes right in on time. Well it shines so bright and it gives so much light and it comes from the sky above. Makes me feel so free makes me feel like me and lights my life with love."__ - Brand New Day by Van Morrison_

**Brand New Day**

The pain had subsided. Right on schedule, just as Alice predicted, it all became manageable. He could breathe again. The razors in his throat had grown less and less painful, had been reduced to little more than an annoying itch. He knew his ordeal wasn't over, that it would only take a human stepping too close to throw him back into that dark place.

But for now, he felt solid.

He laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling in the exact position Alice had left him in when she kissed him goodbye before school. Thunder rumbled loudly and he turned to see the rain outside the window, watched it sluice over the gutters to run in persistent rivulets down the glass. Jasper turned his head again, this time to glance at his meager collection of books, irritated with the very thought of reading any of them again.

He listened as Esme moved downstairs, as she worked on the household chores and hummed along to her radio. Feeling better than he had in weeks, he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He waited for the dizzying nausea, for the sharp pain in his head. But it didn't come.

His feet found the floor and with no effort, with no pain, he was standing. Carlisle had theorized that so many years of instant gratification had made Jasper's body even more dependent on human blood, that Jasper could not possibly feel close to normal until all of the human blood in his system had been replaced by animal blood.

Jasper moved to the mirror and sucked in a stunned breath. His eyes were golden. He leaned close, touching his cheekbone with trembling fingers, somehow certain the mirror was betraying him. He opened his eyes wider, looking for any vestiges of the telling red. But it was all gone. His eyes were clear proof of his milestone, of the hurdles he'd cleared. He watched as the reflection's lips curved, as that strange new face melted into a contented smile.

He glanced at the clock on the bedside table, anxious now to see Alice. He wanted to share his good mood with her, to apologize for being so trying when the pain was at its worst. He scowled at the clock. She wouldn't be home for hours.

The mirror caught his eye again and he could only smile and shake his head. Who would have thought?

He moved to his bookshelf and ran his finger over the titles, wishing he had something new, something that would make the time fly. There was nothing appealing, nothing he could get lost in. Carlisle had thousands of books. His study was lined with floor to ceiling bookshelves and every inch of every shelf was crammed with books.

Jasper longed to explore those shelves, to learn new things and discover new worlds. But he didn't feel comfortable helping himself. He still felt like a guest in the house, like a stranger amongst people that were supposed to be his family.

The noise of Esme's radio drifted up and Jasper gave his books another fleeting glance. With a resolute mind, he strolled out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He moved through the family room and into the foyer. Esme was watering the tall plants that flanked the front door. She was lost in her music, singing lightly and worrying the plants with gentle fingers.

"Uh, excuse me."

Esme jumped, whirling to face him, her watering can sloshing audibly. "Oh, Jasper," her hand was pressed to her chest as if her still heart was suddenly racing. "I didn't hear you," she said, gesturing to the radio.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't be." She smiled, her dimples winking prettily. "I'm so used to being home alone during the day. I even forget when Carlisle is working nights." She settled the watering can on the delicate little table and folded her hands together. "How are you feeling today?"

He felt a slow smile creep across his face. It was such a novelty to be able to say he felt fine, to be able to share his victory. "I feel better."

"I'm so happy to hear that," she said with another smile.

"I uh – I was wondering if I could borrow a book." He pushed his fingers through his hair, feeling suddenly dishevelled. Esme always looked so put together and he looked like...well, like he just got out of bed.

"Of course." She moved past him, touching him on the arm to indicate that he should follow. She started for the study, leading him back through the family room and up the stairs. "Are there any subjects you're particularly interested in?"

Jasper shrugged, "I don't really know. Just something new."

She opened the mahogany doors of Carlisle's study. "Most of the books are in here." She flicked on the light, illuminating the rich wood and stunning collection of books. "Edward has some in his room and there are more in the den."

Jasper stepped forward, overwhelmed by the selection, by the sheer volume of choices. "I don't even know where to begin," he murmured.

She laughed lightly. "The collection has gotten a little out of hand." Esme trailed a hand over a nearby shelf, her fingers hovering over the embossed titles on the cloth bindings. "We can't bear to get rid of books."

He smiled, feeling even lighter with her serene emotions taking over his unease. "I'm glad."

Jasper turned back to the bookshelf, trying to take in all the titles, all the subjects and languages and stories and histories. He pulled a philosophy book from the shelf, flipping through the pages with a careful eye. He felt a tiny spike of annoyance from Esme and he quickly reshelved the book and glanced over his shoulder.

She crossed to Carlisle's desk, clucking her tongue as she walked. "He closes the door hoping I won't notice the clutter." She shook her head, a gentle smile creeping across her face as she started making tidy stacks of his papers and recapping pens. "You'd think, after all this time, he'd just tidy up his own desk."

Jasper grinned and turned back to the books. "Do you mind being alone so much?"

"I like keeping the house and...I'm content with the quiet." She slid a stack of files in a drawer.

"Alice tells me you have an interest in architecture and design."

"Yes." She pointed to the corner. "And my books are there."

He looked over at the two huge shelves stuffed with a mixture of technical books and glossy picture books. "You must have more architecture books than most libraries."

She chuckled. "That's Carlisle's doing. As soon as I expressed an interest, he made it his mission to make sure I had every book ever written on the subject."

"It looks like he did a good job."

Her smile was soft as she leaned against the desk. "As soon as you're up to it, we can go to the book store in town if you'd like."

He swallowed, suddenly nervous at the idea of strolling among humans. "I think all of these will keep me more than occupied." Jasper pulled down an interesting looking history book and opened it to a random page, trailing his finger over the words. He closed it and held it up. "Would Carlisle mind if I borrowed this one?"

"Jasper, this is your home now. You can borrow any of the books. You don't have to ask."

"I'm uh – " he smiled softly. "You're very kind."

She tucked her long hair behind her ear. "I think it'll be nice to have company during the day for awhile. Until you feel like going to school."

He ducked his head, his smile fading. "What if that doesn't happen?"

Esme lifted her shoulders in a gentle shrug. "It'll happen, Jasper. It might take awhile but it'll happen."

He smiled and stepped toward the antique chess set by the door. He ran his fingers gently over the pieces, clutching his book to his chest. "I didn't know it would be so hard."

"Well," she stepped close, "the eyes suit you."

He glanced up with a smile. "Thank you. I'm not used to them yet." He pushed his fingers through his hair and glanced again at the chess set. "This is beautiful."

"Do you play?"

"I played with Peter some. I can't play with Alice. She cheats."

Esme laughed. "Would you like to play? I'm not great but...I won't cheat."

Jasper fingered the pages of his book. "You wouldn't mind?"

She settled into the chair and grinned up at him expectantly. "Jasper, I really am content with the quiet but – well, I love the company." She tucked her hair behind her ear again. "You're probably going to be sick of me before long."

He sank into the chair and felt her excitement and warmth and genuine enthusiasm wash over him. He could only smile softly as she moved out a pawn. "I doubt it."

* * *

Note: Just a sweet little Esme and Jasper scene. I realized they must have had a lot of free time together when everyone else was at school during those early years. Thought it would be nice to look at the genesis of their relationship.

I know it's been awhile since my last update. I'll try to be a little better about it but life is CRAZY. To those of you that were patient, thanks so much. And to those of you that weren't so patient, please realize I have rl stuff going on.

Thanks so much for all the reviews and recs and PMs and emails and faves. I so appreciate it.

Please review!

- Brynna


	37. Come Down Now

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Stew (Passing Strange).

Synopsis: Jasper has a serious question early in his relationship with Alice.

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"_So come down now, __remove your mask. See, all you gotta do is ask me, I__'ll give you all the love life allows."__ - Come Down Now from Passing Strange_

**Come Down Now**

The question was nagging at him, itching at the back of his throat so that every time he opened his mouth he had to swallow it down.

The first weeks with her were a unique kind of bliss, something he could have never imagined, could have never foreseen. His personal experiences left no room for the kind of relationship he'd stumbled into.

And therein lay the crux of it.

He could feel himself needing her, could feel himself moving clear past love and into the deeper realm of breathless necessity. Alice was becoming his reason for living; she was becoming the most basic of his needs. Humans needed to breathe and fish needed to swim but Jasper only needed Alice.

Jasper could handle love. He didn't understand it still, but he could handle it. Loving Alice was simple, an easy truth. He accepted it because it required no trust to love her. It required nothing but Alice being Alice and Jasper being Jasper. But to trust anyone enough to need them was a luxury, a lowering of his defenses, a slippery slope with no way back up.

He could walk away from love. He would be forever changed by it, forever haunted by it, but he could leave it be, could turn his back. But he could never walk away from the need, from the realization that loving Alice was his entire purpose, his entire reason for being.

It was already settling in, the bone-deep ache for her that was at first so foreign to him was becoming a familiar friend. Every piece of him longed to touch her, to taste, to claim. But he had to know, had to ask.

"Ask me," she said quietly from the passenger side of the car.

His hands tightened on the steering wheel, a white-knuckled grip that would leave permanent indentations. His throat ached as the words tried to fight their way out, as he tried, once more to swallow them down. And then they were out, laid before them in one breathless gasp, "Did you ever resent this fate?"

He watched the way her eyes widened and then narrowed. He caught her off guard and his own brow furrowed as he wondered what question she saw, as he wondered what decision he'd made and discarded.

Alice shook her head once, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "What?"

Jasper swallowed again, wishing he hadn't asked, wishing he didn't have to clarify. _Don't ask questions if you don't want the answers_, he reminded himself.

"Your first vision was of me. Didn't – didn't you ever try to – to make your own path?" His stammered words hung between them as her fingers brushed through her hair again, a clear sign of her nerves, of her discomfort.

"You want to know," she said slowly, "if I ever wanted to change this? If I ever wanted something else?"

He nodded once, glancing over at her and meeting her confused eyes with an awkward jerk of his head. "It just seems that...whatever gave you your vision of me made the decision for you."

Her hands settled on her lap, her back ramrod straight as she stared out the windshield, as she watched the countryside race by in a moonlit stream. "It didn't really work that way," she said quietly. She bit her lip lightly, clearly searching for the words to make him understand. "I know it's hard to imagine but when I woke, there was nothing there, just a void in my mind. And then your face appeared." She shrugged. "I guess – I guess I never considered not finding you because you were _everything_."

Jasper loosened his grip on the steering wheel and kept his eyes trained on the road. "But then you got other visions of me. You knew – you knew what I was like, what I'd done."

She breathed deeply and then did something that stunned him, that had him whipping his head around to stare at her wide-eyed.

She laughed.

"Where is this coming from, Jazz?" She leaned over and trailed her fingers across his forearm, beckoning him to let go of the wheel and give her his attention.

He pulled the car off the road and sat there, his fingers still wrapped around the wheel, his eyes still staring out at the night. "I'm in love with you."

She shook her head, her smile still stretched across her face. "I know that."

He was still, his eyes trained on nothing. "I think – I think I _need_ you."

Her smile turned into a tight line, her face a mask of gentle understanding. Her hand trailed from his forearm down over his wrist. She touched scar after scar on her path to his knuckles. He released his grip and let her thread her fingers through his. "I never resented having my fate decided, Jasper. I never wanted anything but you."

"What about the Cullens?"

"I want a family. But if the argument is ever them or you, well...I choose you every time."

"Why?" he whispered.

She tightened her grip on his hand. "Look at me, Jazz," she murmured. He complied, his still heart lurching as he took in the determination written across her perfect face. "I would not have survived without those visions. You might just be coming around to needing me but...from that first vision, that first look at your face, I needed you." Her brow furrowed and her grip loosened just a bit. "Do you – do you resent having your fate tied up with mine?"

He flinched just a little, recoiling from the punch of her words so soon on the heels of everything he'd needed to hear. "This has been the best time of my life, the – the biggest blessing of my life. I just had to know."

Alice tilted her head. _Why? _the gesture asked.

Jasper felt the corners of his mouth lift in a small smile. _Because I already need you. Because if you break my heart I'll never recover. Because my life has never allowed for hope to take root._ "Because I'm past the point of no return."

Her smile matched his. "Good," she said clearly. "Then you're all caught up."

* * *

Note: I know, I know. I disappeared for a spell. Real life kept me insanely busy since I last posted. I have a couple more chapters ready to go for this story that I will post in the coming days.

If you are a fan of Some Rise by Sin, I'll be posting on that one probably in a week or so. Just hang in there, life if getting more normal and less stressful.

Thanks for the reviews and messages and emails and faves. I got hundreds and hundreds of fanfic related emails while I was away and that was really what tugged me back. So thanks. I'll try to wade through them and answer any questions that were asked or reply to those that asked for a reply but if it's pressing, feel free to PM me again.

Thanks also for all of your patience and kind, encouraging words. You're the best bunch of readers a gal could ask for.

Please review!

- Brynna


	38. Book of Love

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe. The title of this chapter and opening quote belong to Peter Gabriel.

Synopsis: A shared eternity means repeating everything.

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"_The book of love is long and boring; no one can lift the damn thing. It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing. But I love it when you read to me and you can read me anything."__ - Book of Love by Peter Gabriel_

**Book of Love**

His lips felt like a caress, like a gentle whisper. He nudged at her smooth skin, tasting and teasing as he found the sensitive spot below her ear. She gasped, unable to stop herself as her fingers threaded though his hair.

Her legs tightened on either side of his, trembled as she raised herself slightly, granting him better access. He nosed the collar of her shirt aside and found a new expanse of skin to explore. She grinned as his hands tightened reflexively at her waist. His fingers and thumbs touched as his hands squeezed, easily spanning the circumference of her.

She had memories that mirrored this moment exactly. They'd been in the same position, in the same state of undress, gasping and smiling and whimpering in exactly the same way. She knew the feel of him, the taste of him, the story that his kisses told. She knew the shape of his lips as they spelled out professions of love in the crook of her neck.

"Darlin'," he growled against her skin. It was a familiar sensation, both the lurch of her heart at the term of endearment and the tiny vibration of his growl against her flesh. Smooth teeth grazed across the white column of her neck, never finding purchase. "Did I ever tell you how much I like it when you wear my shirts?"

She laughed, her head still tilted back, still allowing him access. "A time or two. Or a thousand." Alice had shrugged into his dress shirt as he pulled on his boxer briefs. The shirt hung clear to her knees and she'd been rolling up the sleeves when he pulled her down, settling her onto his lap so that she was straddling him, her legs curled next to his thighs. She smoothed one hand down his chest. "Did I ever tell you how much I like it when you call me 'darlin'?'"

He laughed there, his face buried in her neck, sending shivers down her spine. All familiar, all a sweet homecoming. "A time or two." Jasper pulled back to smile at her, his face as sunny as she'd ever seen it. This was his homecoming, too.

She let her fingers trail over his cheeks. "New school tomorrow."

He groaned but his face was still lit up, the bliss of their uninterrupted time together still written across every part of him. "We should withdraw. Just withdraw and spend a year like this."

It was a common argument, an old plea. They collected conversations like trading cards. School was hard for him; school was important to her. He felt like a monster in the halls; she felt like a stranger. He couldn't stand to have his lost humanity thrown in his face; she couldn't stand the thought of seeing nothing of herself in the sea of faces.

"The town already knows about us," she said with a grin. "What would they think if two of Dr. Cullen's children never showed up?"

Children. They play at being children for eight hours a day and she knew he hated it. She knew because he'd told her, every time they started a new school, the words spilled out. There was no room for secrets or half truths in an infinite lifetime. Every truth was one more thing to collect, one more conversation to repeat again and again until a new truth replaced the old one.

He wagged his eyebrows suggestively. "Wanna find out?"

Alice laughed lightly and shook her head. "Carlisle found a good town. It's quiet and secluded and if we play our cards right, we'll have years of peace."

He nipped at her bottom lip, his smile still stretched across his face, not even the prospect of spending another year in a sea of humans enough to dampen his mood. "I guess that sounds all right."

She braced her hands on his shoulders. "Yeah?" A question always asked and always answered the same way.

Jasper nodded and settled his hands on her thighs. "Years of peace with you? Yeah," he smiled, "yeah, that sounds all right."

"Maybe after this school we could take some time off. We could travel." She let her fingers knead the muscles of his shoulders. It was an old offer that had some merit for once. Surely the family could live without her visions for a spell. Surely Jasper was strong enough to be away from the support of the family. "We could be a young married couple."

He grinned, ignoring the offer for the sake of playing his role. "I think that's the worst of it, taking off our rings before we leave the house, acting like teenagers instead of adults with more than a half-century of marriage behind us."

"You old romantic," she whispered. She leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth. "We know how long we've been married. Who cares about the rest of them?"

"You do," he murmured. "Isn't that the worst part for you? Caring what they think but never fitting in?"

She shrugged and said what she always did, expressed her saddest truth, offered it to him in their eternity of repeated admissions and facts. "I don't fit in with the humans. I don't fit in with the vampires."

"You fit in fine." He meant it every time.

"I've never met another vampire that could see the future."

He grinned. "In this family, you fit in fine."

"And in this family, you and I have to go to school tomorrow."

"What's this one called?" He already knew the answer but if they didn't repeat these things, what would they ever talk about?

"Forks High School."

He snorted. "Forks. Strange name."

"The others lived in the area once before. Esme said the hunting is good there."

"Maybe you'll make a friend there." It was another old line. Change out the high school, change out the town, Alice's wish always stayed the same. She no longer believed it, so he believed it for her, hoping she'd find someone to give her whatever it was she was searching for.

She laughed lightly. "I'm sure. And maybe you'll have that peace you love so much."

"Uneventful algebra and half-true history lectures." He grinned slightly, his eyes unseeing as he imagined the simple pleasure of being bored, of being content, of being with Alice. "Nights with you and my books and a grizzly or two." He sighed, a satisfied exhalation.

Alice stared at him, her smile gentle as he contemplated another several years of the same routine, of peace and boredom and repeated stories and facts they both new. Eternity had never frightened her because it had always been her truth, had always been her path. But it wasn't always his, he had a human life and then what was supposed to be a short, violent life as a soldier.

She knew that eternity, infinite time, a forever-life could be a dizzying concept for the young, for the mortal, for those with a finite life. Eternity could mean destruction for those prone to boredom, for those that saw time as an enemy, as something to conquer or drown in.

So she asked another familiar question. "Do you miss anything about being human?"

Once he'd said 'urgency.' Another time, 'control.' The truth was new nearly every time she asked. This time, he simply looked at her, his face still a picture of pleasure, of delighting in _this_ moment, in _this_ iteration of a memory and conversation and truth and intimacy. "No. No, right now, I don't miss anything at all." He kiss her teasingly, pulling away before she could settle in, making her smile again. "Tomorrow, I'll miss you."

"Think of all the new things we'll have to talk about." She grinned easily now, familiar with this joke.

"Is algebra going to be different in Forks High School?" His eyebrows were raised as he met her smile with his own.

"You never know."

He laughed fully, his head thrown back as his arms wrapped around her, his hands bunching in the fabric of her borrowed shirt. "I do know."

"New school tomorrow," she said again, her expression falling, nearly apologetic.

"Eight hours of that." He leaned forward and touched their foreheads together. "Sixteen hours of this. A fair trade."

"Love you." They always ended the conversation the same way. It was her oldest truth, the one she'd brought into their relationship, the one she had given him to hold and mull over until he realized that it was his truth too.

"Love you, too." He grinned, lopsided and charming and exactly the same as always.

And in that moment, she didn't care about new friends or lost memories or a school full of temptation. If she never fit in anywhere else, she knew she'd always fit in right there, right where he always felt the same and tasted the same and smiled the same crooked smile. She fit in where she knew the conversations and all of his truths and stories.

She trailed her fingers over his cheek, pulling herself closer, pressing her body tight to his. "Have I ever told you how much I love your smile?"

Jasper's face lit up, accommodating her musings by letting his smile stretch and grow until it was a mask of pure joy. He nodded, his arms hugging her close, enveloping her familiarly. "A time or two."

* * *

Note: I decided to take a work break and post a chapter. I have a big BIG deadline approaching at work, so of course my muses are going nuts. Thanks to everyone who reviewed on the last one. I really appreciate all the feedback. Also, welcome new readers!

For those waiting on SRBS, I have several chapters ready to be sent to the beta readers. I'll probably send them tomorrow or Wednesday so there is a very very good chance that chapter 9 will go up early next week.

Now, about this story. I am going to complete this thing at 50 chapters. I want everyone to review or PM or e-mail me with whatever Alice and Jasper plots you'd like to see in the last ten. I'll either set up a poll to vote on my journal or I'll draw or something but at least five of the last ten will come from whatever you guys suggest. I have received literally hundreds of suggestions since I started this story and some I have written and some I haven't so suggest again if I haven't written your idea. All I ask is that it be something Alice and Jasper related (seriously, do not ask me to write a Nessie chapter of Six Interruptions), and that it be fairly specific (don't say 'something from Breaking Dawn!'). Other than wrapping up SRBS, these last one-shots will probably be the last Twilight writing I do for some time so now is your chance to let me know if there is a scene you always hoped I'd do. I'll discard any suggestions that I have covered either here or in Redefining Words. So be creative! Get to suggesting.

Please review!

- Brynna


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